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Check their Fridge

A Dating Guide

Prologue: Winter 1998

We’ve all been there: on a date when we get that first invitation back to their apartment. Considering I made out with Haley in the street on our last date, one thing was certain: tonight I was going to see her topless.

Factoring that in with her preppy looks, her Princeton education and her Jewish background, I guesstimated that I had a 50% chance of sex-sex and a 40% chance of something even more personal to women than sex-sex: oral sex ... Read More

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Drop the Pick-Up Lines

Lets face it…pick-up lines can look cool in movies, but in the real world, you just look like a douche.

Take Top Gun. When Mav and Goose ran their “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” game, it was magic. Whether it was movie magic or Scientology magic, I don’t know, but I’ve seen a few guys run it since and you know what they looked like? You guessed it, douches.

What pick-up lines tell me is that the dudes using them feel like they’re not good enough, so they have to do something magical to cross the goal line. They’re making something out to be much harder than it is.

I was great at meeting girls. I‘m not saying they all wanted to bang me and I’m not saying we always connected, but I used one line and it always worked: ”Hi, I’m John”. As long as I wasn’t rude, it worked every time.

When I say worked, I mean that I got to break the ice and meet them. And that’s all you need to kick things off. From there, you can see if there’s a connection and attraction. If not, no love lost. Just introducing myself was enough to get the job done.

When it comes to meeting girls, your goal shouldn’t be to get laid. It should be to see if there’s a vibe and if so, get digits. That’s it. And the irony? The more you focus on that, the more you end up getting laid in the long run.

Now, are there guys who run their ‘game’ and get laid? Of course. But A, they’re working way harder than they need to and B, they’re dicks. The reality is, it’s not hard to get laid. We’re wired that way. (Tune in to next week’s #DateTipTuesday, ‘Time to take sex off the pedestal”)

So drop the fireworks, drop the bullshit and just introduce yourself. If the connection is there, you’ll be in Saucy Town soon enough.

6Medium, Tips, Dating, Love, Relationship, Girls, Sex, Advice, Insight, Singles,

Dating Ammo

Welcome to CTF’s Dating Ammo.

Lets face it…most of our dates revolve around eating and drinking.

So here’s where we’ll talk about foods and drinks that can be a great asset for your next date.

Now that it’s summertime, or as I like to call it ‘Mating Season’, there’s tons of foods and wines that are tailor-made for the warmer weather.

One product that caught my eye is Frey Wines. They have solid whites that are perfect for summer, including a Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay, you can grab’m at Whole Foods so it’s convenient, they’re inexpensive at around $15 per bottle and Frey Vineyards is our nation’s first certified organic winery.

And in case you didn’t get the memo, the ladies love organic. It’s good for the environment, it’s good for local businesses and there are a plethora of health benefits that come with it.

So whether to take on a hike, to a summer outdoor movie screening or just on your couch for some quality afternoon chit-chat, a Frey white can be solid ammo for your next date.

More info here for Frey Wines: http://www.freywine.com/index.html


On the docket this week…

Stay tuned for our first Medicine Cabinet analysis.

6Medium, Tips, Dating, Relationships, Analysis, Food, Drinks, Wine, Marriage, Love, Advice, Insight, Humor, Frey,

Stonehill’s Inbox

Here are some of my favorite submissions from the past week…

Stonehill,

Love your blog, man. I always checked a girl’s medicine cabinet, felt like that was the perfect gauge.

I know you’re the fridge master, but can you analyze this medicine cabinet for me??

Cheers!

-Corey

Hey Corey,

They say eyes are the windows to their soul.

Well, a medicine cabinet can be the window to their sanity.

The fact is, we’re all dating detectives and we all have our methods to analyze a prospect. I’ve always felt like a fridge is the most revealing, but a medicine cabinet is a very close second.

The tricky thing can be most medicine cabinets are harder to access than a fridge. By no means are we talking Mission Impossible here, but if they have more than one bathroom, you’ll most likely need to pass the slap & tickle phase of the relationship to gain entry to their med cab.

As you’ve already done the heavy lifting here, I’m in. Check Their Fridge is about finding and analyzing clues, which reveal probable truths about a person. (For example, a logical guess would be your Canadian, as ‘cheers’ is a more popular adieu up there)

This’ll be fun, stay tuned for our first Medicine Cabinet analysis next week!


Stonehill,

I like this guy, and there’s a mutual attraction. (And yes, his fridge ain’t shabby either ☺)

How long do you think a girl should wait to have sex?

Thanks!

-Linda

Hey Linda,

Along with ‘Where do we come from?’, the question of how long til sex is as old as Mankind.

And there is no right and wrong answer, just what’s right and wrong for you. The fact is, I’ve seen just as many relationships succeed after shagging on the first date as I have from girls making the guy wait a month.

Do I think shagging a guy on the first date is the best strategy? No, frankly I don’t. Even if it’s the 2nd or 3rd date (which is industry standard), I’d make him wait a bit. The key for you is to have sex when you want to have sex. It’s about you, not him and if you want it, go for it.

I’ve heard way too many women talk about when to have sex like it’s for the guy and the impression they’re making. I say screw that. It’s about you and what you’re comfortable with. If he has a problem with that, he’s a dick and tell him to piss off.


Stonehll,

I met this guy and he’s a good deal overweight. He’s hilarious and I have a good time with him, but I’m not attracted to him.

I didn’t get a pic of his fridge, but I have a photographic memory and can send you a detailed list if that helps.

Can you still analyze?

-Amy

Hey Amy,

I usually require a fridge pic, but this is a topic that interests me, so send the list if that’s all you have. (And as I’m obsessed with photographic memories, any description of condition, cleanliness and organization would help)

What I can say for now is personality is the most importantly quality when dating, but you absolutely need an attraction first.

Now, I don’t know how big this dude is, and I’m curious if it’s from overeating or from a condition. But you know what I find attractive about obese dudes? Nothing.

If you’re obese from over-eating, not a health condition and it’s to the point that you’re risking your health, that’s a problem. I’m not talking looks, I’m talking health and with obesity comes heart disease, diabetes and a host of other life-threatening issues. That will impact not only his life, but also his partner’s.

I love McDonald’s. I love meatball pizza, steaks, lasagna, BBQ, beer, bourbon, Chinese food and more. But everything in moderation.

I can go on, but I’ll moderate myself for now. Shoot me that list and I’ll dive in with my analysis.


Please keep submitting your fridges, comments and dating adventures!

stonehill@checktheirfridge.com

6Medium, Dating, Relationships, Love, Marriage, Advice, Tips, Insight, Quotes,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Appreciate What You Have

When I got married in Africa a couple of years ago, I attended the local soccer match of the residents on Benguerra Island off the coast of Mozambique.

While there, I saw these African boys play with a car made from a milk carton, two Coke cans cut in half to make four wheels and a stick to push it.  And it was the envy of all the kids.

I came across this picture of the boys the other day, and they’ve been on my mind ever since.

It reminded me to appreciate what you have.  The same could be said for dating.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t want other things and work towards getting them.  But if you can’t appreciate what you already have, you’ll never be happy.  Never.

We can all relate to the grass being greener.  There’s always going to be someone with a better looking spouse, a nicer car and a bigger house.  But it’s a choice to let that get you down.  Again, it’s natural to want more than what we have and work towards getting it. But insatiable people are miserable people.

I’ve seen many relationships where a person wasn’t happy no matter what they had.  And those relationship never worked.  Cause their view of happiness was always measured by having something that they didn’t have yet.  And once they did have it, they didn’t appreciate it anymore.

So whether single, dating or married, try to appreciate what you do have.  You’ll be happier (which is necessary in a successful relationship), and as you get more of the things you want along the way, you’ll appreciate and enjoy them even more.
ZoomInfo
Camera
Canon EOS REBEL T2i
ISO
500
Aperture
f/5
Exposure
1/125th
Focal Length
34mm

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Appreciate What You Have

When I got married in Africa a couple of years ago, I attended the local soccer match of the residents on Benguerra Island off the coast of Mozambique.

While there, I saw these African boys play with a car made from a milk carton, two Coke cans cut in half to make four wheels and a stick to push it. And it was the envy of all the kids.

I came across this picture of the boys the other day, and they’ve been on my mind ever since.

It reminded me to appreciate what you have. The same could be said for dating.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t want other things and work towards getting them. But if you can’t appreciate what you already have, you’ll never be happy. Never.

We can all relate to the grass being greener. There’s always going to be someone with a better looking spouse, a nicer car and a bigger house. But it’s a choice to let that get you down. Again, it’s natural to want more than what we have and work towards getting it. But insatiable people are miserable people.

I’ve seen many relationships where a person wasn’t happy no matter what they had. And those relationship never worked. Cause their view of happiness was always measured by having something that they didn’t have yet. And once they did have it, they didn’t appreciate it anymore.

So whether single, dating or married, try to appreciate what you do have. You’ll be happier (which is necessary in a successful relationship), and as you get more of the things you want along the way, you’ll appreciate and enjoy them even more.

6Medium, Dating, Tips, Relationships, Marriage, Insight, Advice, Wisdom, Quotes, Food, Drink, Refrigerator,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Get to the ‘No’

One of the hardest and most important lessons I learned in sales is get to the ‘No’. Meaning, if a lead is not going to buy, don’t waste time and move on to the next one.

It’s the same with Dating.

Now, whether it comes to sales or dating, we instinctually want to keep hope alive. What we often need in life is the chance of success. And with that chance, we feel like we’re doing better, cause we have more chances.

But if there’s no real possibility there, we’re lessening our chances.

What I learned in sales is that if it’s going to be a ‘no’, the sooner you know, the better, so you can move on to the next lead. You don’t want to cut off a lead prematurely, but if you know what to look for, it doesn’t take long to gauge whether or not there’s true potential.

Again, same thing with dating. We often let emotion get in the way and resist getting to the ‘no’, even when deep down inside, we know we’ll end up there.

Before I got married, the longest relationship I had in my life was a year and a half. That’s surprising to some people. To me, what’s surprising is when people date for 2 years or more when what they want marriage out of the relationship.

A girlfriend I had in my 20’s said to me after a year that if deep down inside, I knew I was not going to marry her, to please love and respect her enough to tell her and let her move on. To waste her time would be the most selfish thing I could have done. And we broke up soon after. (She was married to someone else a year later, which I was happy to see)

If someone is clearly not right for you, you don’t need more than a year to know it. And I can’t tell you how many endless stories I’ve heard about people not getting what they want out of a relationship and letting it drag on for years. Most of the time, it ends up in the same place…over.

So when it comes to the valuable, precious time you have to date and find the one, approach it like sales. Get to the ‘no’ if it’s not right and only give those who have a realistic shot of giving you what you want out of life the time they deserve.

Now, there are exceptions to every rule and I’ve heard how people have stuck around for years and it worked out. But for the most part, it doesn’t. And if they got to the ‘no’ (or ‘yes’) earlier, they might have ended up married earlier as well.

6Medium, Dating, Relationships, Advice, Insight, Humor, Funny, Tips,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Host a game night!

Some of the simple things in life are the most fun.  Starting with party games.  Every time I get a group of friends together, at the end of the night, I always hear (in addition to “holy crap, I’m so drunk”) is “we should do it more often!”.

And we should.  What we just need is a reason.   A game night is that perfect reason.  It’s also a perfect way to bring a group of singles together without the awkward set-ups or pairings.

Just throw them all in a room, serve wine, add a party game, bake for a couple of hours and voila, a great night.

What often happens to everyone’s surprise (though it really shouldn’t be that surprising) is at least a couple of people hit it off.  If you have mutual friends, the odds are better that you’ll have something in common and get along.

Sometimes it’s best to kick it old school.  And meeting for the first time in person is one old school method that will never go out of style.  That’s not a crack to online dating at all, there’s just a spontaneous magic to meeting someone in the flesh.

The fact is, if I met my wife online, I’d have never gone out with her.  But seeing her in the same room, I had to meet her.

A game night is the perfect reason to get your crew together.  If you don’t have that many single friends, invite your friends to invite a friend of theirs.  Even if it’s just 4-6 people, it’s still a fun party.

Plus, there’s two kickers…
1 - Even if there’s no attraction, you had a good time.
2 - Worse case, you made a new friend who can now can introduce you to their circle of friends.

So plan and play away.  And when in doubt, try Cards Against Humanity, the ladies love it ☺.
ZoomInfo
#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Host a game night!

Some of the simple things in life are the most fun.  Starting with party games.  Every time I get a group of friends together, at the end of the night, I always hear (in addition to “holy crap, I’m so drunk”) is “we should do it more often!”.

And we should.  What we just need is a reason.   A game night is that perfect reason.  It’s also a perfect way to bring a group of singles together without the awkward set-ups or pairings.

Just throw them all in a room, serve wine, add a party game, bake for a couple of hours and voila, a great night.

What often happens to everyone’s surprise (though it really shouldn’t be that surprising) is at least a couple of people hit it off.  If you have mutual friends, the odds are better that you’ll have something in common and get along.

Sometimes it’s best to kick it old school.  And meeting for the first time in person is one old school method that will never go out of style.  That’s not a crack to online dating at all, there’s just a spontaneous magic to meeting someone in the flesh.

The fact is, if I met my wife online, I’d have never gone out with her.  But seeing her in the same room, I had to meet her.

A game night is the perfect reason to get your crew together.  If you don’t have that many single friends, invite your friends to invite a friend of theirs.  Even if it’s just 4-6 people, it’s still a fun party.

Plus, there’s two kickers…
1 - Even if there’s no attraction, you had a good time.
2 - Worse case, you made a new friend who can now can introduce you to their circle of friends.

So plan and play away.  And when in doubt, try Cards Against Humanity, the ladies love it ☺.
ZoomInfo

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Host a game night!

Some of the simple things in life are the most fun. Starting with party games. Every time I get a group of friends together, at the end of the night, I always hear (in addition to “holy crap, I’m so drunk”) is “we should do it more often!”.

And we should. What we just need is a reason. A game night is that perfect reason. It’s also a perfect way to bring a group of singles together without the awkward set-ups or pairings.

Just throw them all in a room, serve wine, add a party game, bake for a couple of hours and voila, a great night.

What often happens to everyone’s surprise (though it really shouldn’t be that surprising) is at least a couple of people hit it off. If you have mutual friends, the odds are better that you’ll have something in common and get along.

Sometimes it’s best to kick it old school. And meeting for the first time in person is one old school method that will never go out of style. That’s not a crack to online dating at all, there’s just a spontaneous magic to meeting someone in the flesh.

The fact is, if I met my wife online, I’d have never gone out with her. But seeing her in the same room, I had to meet her.

A game night is the perfect reason to get your crew together. If you don’t have that many single friends, invite your friends to invite a friend of theirs. Even if it’s just 4-6 people, it’s still a fun party.

Plus, there’s two kickers…
1 - Even if there’s no attraction, you had a good time.
2 - Worse case, you made a new friend who can now can introduce you to their circle of friends.

So plan and play away. And when in doubt, try Cards Against Humanity, the ladies love it ☺.

6Medium, Dating, Relationships, Marriage, Refrigerator, Games, Party, Fun, Cards, Insight, Advice, Tips, Romance,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

I continue my food and wine travels through Provence, France.

Today’s dating tip is brought to you by main man Jean, who is a brilliant wine merchant in Châteauneuf-du-Pape.

Here is an easy to prepare snack for hosting a romantic evening at your place that will not only impress, but according to Jean, also lead to a guaranteed trip to Saucy Town:

  • Start with a french baguette.
  • Sprinkle crumbled blue cheese.
  • Sprinkle honey.
  • Roast in oven.
  • Put on salad with balsamic.
  • Serve with bottle of Muscat French dessert wine.
  • Put on movie.
  • Score.

Enjoy and lemme know how it goes!

6Medium, Tips, Wine, Food, France, Provence, Dating, Relationships, Romantic, Marriage, Humor,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Share hard-to-find foreign foods with your date.

As I write this in Paris, I’m reminded that travel is one of the joys in life.  And in life’s journey, we try to find what to pursue and what to avoid.  Speaking personally, I pursue travel.  And avoid VD.

Now, with French food and wine on the mind, I’m also reminded how we pursue food and drink.  So whether it’s French food, Argentinian wine or Italian dessert, sharing a foreign or wine with your date is a killer move for several reasons…

You can buy it together.  And chicks love shopping second only to drawing breath.  Every city has charming specialty markets and farmers markets.  Shopping together for food and drink to share is a great date unto itself.  It provides natural banter and takes the focus off of having to talk about you.
Sharing food is a bonding experience.  It’s always more fun to order 2 entrees you both like and share both.   There’s an un-spoken intimacy building while sharing the sustenance of life.  Plus, you grow closer as you discover what you love eating together.   To share the unusual and hard-to-find is even better.
Summer is travel season.  And when you find the cuisines you like most, it lays the groundwork for the two of you to travel to that country some day together.  With all the shit we deal with on a day-to-day basis, what often gets us through it is having something to look forward to.  And an international trip is the perfect light at the end of the tunnel.
Some people talk and some people do.  Here’s a great way to see if the person you’re dating is a man or woman of action.  If one of your passions is to see the world, best to know early on if they don’t share it.  Cause if they don’t, it most likely won’t work out in the long run.
In terms of suggestions, there are endless foods and wines from around the world that should be on your must-try list.  As I have Vive-la-France on the mind, check out Laduree macaroons: https://www.laduree.com/fr_fr/

Macaroons are like catnip for ladies.  And if you dig’m in the states, it’s the perfect excuse to start planning that romantic Paris getaway together.
ZoomInfo
#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Share hard-to-find foreign foods with your date.

As I write this in Paris, I’m reminded that travel is one of the joys in life.  And in life’s journey, we try to find what to pursue and what to avoid.  Speaking personally, I pursue travel.  And avoid VD.

Now, with French food and wine on the mind, I’m also reminded how we pursue food and drink.  So whether it’s French food, Argentinian wine or Italian dessert, sharing a foreign or wine with your date is a killer move for several reasons…

You can buy it together.  And chicks love shopping second only to drawing breath.  Every city has charming specialty markets and farmers markets.  Shopping together for food and drink to share is a great date unto itself.  It provides natural banter and takes the focus off of having to talk about you.
Sharing food is a bonding experience.  It’s always more fun to order 2 entrees you both like and share both.   There’s an un-spoken intimacy building while sharing the sustenance of life.  Plus, you grow closer as you discover what you love eating together.   To share the unusual and hard-to-find is even better.
Summer is travel season.  And when you find the cuisines you like most, it lays the groundwork for the two of you to travel to that country some day together.  With all the shit we deal with on a day-to-day basis, what often gets us through it is having something to look forward to.  And an international trip is the perfect light at the end of the tunnel.
Some people talk and some people do.  Here’s a great way to see if the person you’re dating is a man or woman of action.  If one of your passions is to see the world, best to know early on if they don’t share it.  Cause if they don’t, it most likely won’t work out in the long run.
In terms of suggestions, there are endless foods and wines from around the world that should be on your must-try list.  As I have Vive-la-France on the mind, check out Laduree macaroons: https://www.laduree.com/fr_fr/

Macaroons are like catnip for ladies.  And if you dig’m in the states, it’s the perfect excuse to start planning that romantic Paris getaway together.
ZoomInfo

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Share hard-to-find foreign foods with your date.

As I write this in Paris, I’m reminded that travel is one of the joys in life. And in life’s journey, we try to find what to pursue and what to avoid. Speaking personally, I pursue travel. And avoid VD.

Now, with French food and wine on the mind, I’m also reminded how we pursue food and drink. So whether it’s French food, Argentinian wine or Italian dessert, sharing a foreign or wine with your date is a killer move for several reasons…

  1. You can buy it together. And chicks love shopping second only to drawing breath. Every city has charming specialty markets and farmers markets. Shopping together for food and drink to share is a great date unto itself. It provides natural banter and takes the focus off of having to talk about you.

  2. Sharing food is a bonding experience. It’s always more fun to order 2 entrees you both like and share both. There’s an un-spoken intimacy building while sharing the sustenance of life. Plus, you grow closer as you discover what you love eating together. To share the unusual and hard-to-find is even better.

  3. Summer is travel season. And when you find the cuisines you like most, it lays the groundwork for the two of you to travel to that country some day together. With all the shit we deal with on a day-to-day basis, what often gets us through it is having something to look forward to. And an international trip is the perfect light at the end of the tunnel.

  4. Some people talk and some people do. Here’s a great way to see if the person you’re dating is a man or woman of action. If one of your passions is to see the world, best to know early on if they don’t share it. Cause if they don’t, it most likely won’t work out in the long run.

In terms of suggestions, there are endless foods and wines from around the world that should be on your must-try list. As I have Vive-la-France on the mind, check out Laduree macaroons: https://www.laduree.com/fr_fr/

Macaroons are like catnip for ladies. And if you dig’m in the states, it’s the perfect excuse to start planning that romantic Paris getaway together.

6Medium, Tips, Dating, Relationships, Travel, Romance, Love, France, Paris, Macaroons, Laduree,

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

Whatever Happens, Keep Your Toes Tappin’.

Yes, it might be a line from Damone’s 5 Point Plan in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but there’s something we can all learn from it.

It’s called the ‘Law of Detachment’. You’ve heard it from Fast Times, Depak Chopra, even Dazed and Confused, and they’re all touching on the same concept. Set and work toward a goal, but detach yourself from the result.

Nothing can be truer when it comes to dating. Set your goals of what you want out of a relationship, but detach yourself from your date and the date’s results.

When your goal becomes the person too early on, you might try to make something work that just doesn’t work.

We’ve all heard a friend talk about a relationship and say ‘I loved the idea of him’. It’s because the boyfriend became the measurement of success, rather than if they were happy with the boyfriend.

Plus, when you attach your definition of success to the person, you’ll put up with whatever shit they give you, cause your goal is making it work with the person, rather than seeing if you’re happy with this person in the first place.

One of my best friends is in a relationship with a chick who treats him like a dung beetle and he says ‘Thank you Ma’am, may I have another’. He’s become attached to her, rather than what he wants out of a relationship.

Never forget, there are always choices out there. Yes, the douches are far more visible to the naked eye than the good ones, but that’s no excuse to attach yourself to the wrong partner because you think there’s no one else.

I had a laundry list of what I was looking for. I imagined my wife would be 6-10 years younger. Nope, we’re the same age. I imagined she’d be in the same political party. Negative, though I’m still working on that one.

But she is beautiful, smart, funny, silly, adventurous, active, loves to travel and wants a kid. She had so much of what I was looking for and though dating is never perfect, I was happy with her in my life.

We closed the deal, not because we attached ourselves to each other and had to make it work, but we made each other happy. The goal was to be happy. (Oh, and to have a chick with big yams. And who doesn’t want to marry that? ☺)

6Medium, Tips, Dating, Relationships, Love,

#DateTipTuesdays

#DateTipTuesdays

Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge

5 Romantic Comedies to Watch with a Date

What’s better than dinner and a movie? Dinner and a bottle of wine at your place. Now, I can’t tell you that putting on one of these flicks will guarantee a trip to Saucy Town. But it’ll help.

Think of them as a mini version of Wedding Crashers. (Though I love that film, it didn’t make the list) The way a wedding can whet one’s appetite for love, a great romantic comedy can do the same. It paves the way and sets the mood.

And the great news is that watching one of these films is a double bonus: even if you and your date don’t have a love connection, you still get to enjoy one of the all time greats in the process.

Depending on the day, I can easily find 5 others for this list, but for today, here’s my Top 5 in re. to pure entertainment, romance and setting the mood for you when it’s over:

1. When Harry Met Sally

2. Four Weddings and a Funeral

3. Annie Hall

4. Bridget Jones Diary

5. The Graduate

6Medium, Tips, Movies, Romance, Relationships, Dating, Marriage,

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