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Check their Fridge

A Dating Guide

Prologue: Winter 1998

We’ve all been there: on a date when we get that first invitation back to their apartment. Considering I made out with Haley in the street on our last date, one thing was certain: tonight I was going to see her topless.

Factoring that in with her preppy looks, her Princeton education and her Jewish background, I guesstimated that I had a 50% chance of sex-sex and a 40% chance of something even more personal to women than sex-sex: oral sex ... Read More

Fridge Analysis


  Hey Stonehill,
  
  Just met this girl the other night, don’t know much about her yet. She’s exactly my type, red hair and tattoos plus a nice curvy body and she claims to be bisexual so I’m hoping to get her in bed soon. Anything you can tell me about her fridge?
  
  -Evon  (The Witty Girl)


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Evon,

That’s crazy, she’s my type, too!  Well, not really (and I’m married), but she does sound super saucy.

I’m really glad to hear from you.  I’ve had the pleasure of breaking down several gay fridges, but this is my first request for a bisexual woman.  Which is long overdue, as it happens to be my favorite kind ☺.

Now, in regard to her fridge, I did some extra homework on this one.  Why?  Because the number one thing that sticks out to me is ‘vegetarian’.  There’s always been chatter that lesbians are more likely to fall into the don’t-eat-meat category.

Does this theory hold water?  Well, I can’t say it’s the Hoover Dam, but it definitely holds something.   An easy answer might be that lesbians are more likely to skew to the left of center politically as do vegetarians.  Diving in further, here’s a quick roll of famous vegetarian lesbians:
•   Ellen Degeneris (One of my fave comedians)
•   Portia de Rossi
•   K.D. Lang
•   Martina Navrilatova  (My fave female tennis player)
•   Susan B. Anthony (My favorite coin)
•   Billy Jean King
•   Sarah McLachlan (A fave songwriter)
•   Amy Ray (Indigo Girls, love them)
•   Meredith Baxter
I feel like Adam Sandler can do a follow up to his Chanukah (and who’s Jewish) song with this impressive collection of A-list ladies.  And though I joke about my appreciation for lesbians (and my desire to get invited to topless pillow fights), all bullshit aside, I respect the hell out of these women.  Truly.

Now, focusing back on your Ginger, the vegetarian evidence is clear.   She has Vegetable Pakoras from Trader Joe’s, Morning Star vegan ‘bacon’ strips, veggie sausage, Amy’s veggies burritos and Dr. Praeger’s veggie burgers.

Not sure if those sausage-looking links in the fridge are vegan, but the odds that she wants to make-out with you have improved.  Nothing is universal, especially that a fridge determines sexual orientation, I’m just talking percentages.

I can also touch on the connection between tattoos and promiscuity (here’s an interesting article: http://tinyurl.com/kdqdxj5), but we’ll stick to what her fridge can tell us.

Per your question, I can see why she’s curvy.  A red cap for most dairies means whole milk, a bev she should not be drinking unless she’s 6.  It’s time for her to meet skim.

Now, I can’t tell you how quick you’ll get her into bed, but her fridge does say she’s date ready.  This girl is a Grade-A host.  She has multiple beer brands to cater to multiple tastes, plus the ammo needed for breakfast in bed, afternoon snacks, late night munchies, and dessert to top if it off.

Lastly, I’m glad to see she drinks.  Yes, there are some saucy sober ladies out there, but lets face it: liquor has greased the rails to Titillation Town for millennium.

So go forth, young lady and be bold. If she won’t hop into bed with you, it’s her loss.  Seriously.  (And mine, I’m dying to hear what happens)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 8
Right off the bat, she went out of her way to tell you she’s bisexual.  She’s obviously telling you this for a reason.  She might not be a lay-up, but she sure as hell ain’t a 3-pointer.

Throw in her tattoos and her fridge-bisexual backup, I can see you cruising down Lucky Lane.

Marry: 4.5
This one’s tough for me to judge on the marriage factor.  I have no idea if this girl will marry whomever she falls in love with, or she’s just experimenting with one side of the aisle.

I do like the fact she’s eating healthy, which is a great sign that she’ll hold up down the road.  Plus, I dig she buys organic and clearly looks out for the environment, an attractive caring quality in a person.

Boil your Bunny: 5
Nothing screams wackypack to me, but there are a few yellow flags.  She has a serious amount of schmutz on the bottom of her fridge and freezer, which offers evidence she’s not on top of things.

I also don’t like to see that her fridge shelves have been replaced with scrap from the lumberyard.  I’ve met an endless amount of wealthy wackos, but financial struggles do add stress to the day-to-day.

Lastly, getting a tattoo hurts like a bitch.  We’re all a little crazy, but if this girl is getting a boatload of tats, it does up her ante a bit.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Analysis


  Hey Stonehill,
  
  Just met this girl the other night, don’t know much about her yet. She’s exactly my type, red hair and tattoos plus a nice curvy body and she claims to be bisexual so I’m hoping to get her in bed soon. Anything you can tell me about her fridge?
  
  -Evon  (The Witty Girl)


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Evon,

That’s crazy, she’s my type, too!  Well, not really (and I’m married), but she does sound super saucy.

I’m really glad to hear from you.  I’ve had the pleasure of breaking down several gay fridges, but this is my first request for a bisexual woman.  Which is long overdue, as it happens to be my favorite kind ☺.

Now, in regard to her fridge, I did some extra homework on this one.  Why?  Because the number one thing that sticks out to me is ‘vegetarian’.  There’s always been chatter that lesbians are more likely to fall into the don’t-eat-meat category.

Does this theory hold water?  Well, I can’t say it’s the Hoover Dam, but it definitely holds something.   An easy answer might be that lesbians are more likely to skew to the left of center politically as do vegetarians.  Diving in further, here’s a quick roll of famous vegetarian lesbians:
•   Ellen Degeneris (One of my fave comedians)
•   Portia de Rossi
•   K.D. Lang
•   Martina Navrilatova  (My fave female tennis player)
•   Susan B. Anthony (My favorite coin)
•   Billy Jean King
•   Sarah McLachlan (A fave songwriter)
•   Amy Ray (Indigo Girls, love them)
•   Meredith Baxter
I feel like Adam Sandler can do a follow up to his Chanukah (and who’s Jewish) song with this impressive collection of A-list ladies.  And though I joke about my appreciation for lesbians (and my desire to get invited to topless pillow fights), all bullshit aside, I respect the hell out of these women.  Truly.

Now, focusing back on your Ginger, the vegetarian evidence is clear.   She has Vegetable Pakoras from Trader Joe’s, Morning Star vegan ‘bacon’ strips, veggie sausage, Amy’s veggies burritos and Dr. Praeger’s veggie burgers.

Not sure if those sausage-looking links in the fridge are vegan, but the odds that she wants to make-out with you have improved.  Nothing is universal, especially that a fridge determines sexual orientation, I’m just talking percentages.

I can also touch on the connection between tattoos and promiscuity (here’s an interesting article: http://tinyurl.com/kdqdxj5), but we’ll stick to what her fridge can tell us.

Per your question, I can see why she’s curvy.  A red cap for most dairies means whole milk, a bev she should not be drinking unless she’s 6.  It’s time for her to meet skim.

Now, I can’t tell you how quick you’ll get her into bed, but her fridge does say she’s date ready.  This girl is a Grade-A host.  She has multiple beer brands to cater to multiple tastes, plus the ammo needed for breakfast in bed, afternoon snacks, late night munchies, and dessert to top if it off.

Lastly, I’m glad to see she drinks.  Yes, there are some saucy sober ladies out there, but lets face it: liquor has greased the rails to Titillation Town for millennium.

So go forth, young lady and be bold. If she won’t hop into bed with you, it’s her loss.  Seriously.  (And mine, I’m dying to hear what happens)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 8
Right off the bat, she went out of her way to tell you she’s bisexual.  She’s obviously telling you this for a reason.  She might not be a lay-up, but she sure as hell ain’t a 3-pointer.

Throw in her tattoos and her fridge-bisexual backup, I can see you cruising down Lucky Lane.

Marry: 4.5
This one’s tough for me to judge on the marriage factor.  I have no idea if this girl will marry whomever she falls in love with, or she’s just experimenting with one side of the aisle.

I do like the fact she’s eating healthy, which is a great sign that she’ll hold up down the road.  Plus, I dig she buys organic and clearly looks out for the environment, an attractive caring quality in a person.

Boil your Bunny: 5
Nothing screams wackypack to me, but there are a few yellow flags.  She has a serious amount of schmutz on the bottom of her fridge and freezer, which offers evidence she’s not on top of things.

I also don’t like to see that her fridge shelves have been replaced with scrap from the lumberyard.  I’ve met an endless amount of wealthy wackos, but financial struggles do add stress to the day-to-day.

Lastly, getting a tattoo hurts like a bitch.  We’re all a little crazy, but if this girl is getting a boatload of tats, it does up her ante a bit.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Analysis


  Hey Stonehill,
  
  Just met this girl the other night, don’t know much about her yet. She’s exactly my type, red hair and tattoos plus a nice curvy body and she claims to be bisexual so I’m hoping to get her in bed soon. Anything you can tell me about her fridge?
  
  -Evon  (The Witty Girl)


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Evon,

That’s crazy, she’s my type, too!  Well, not really (and I’m married), but she does sound super saucy.

I’m really glad to hear from you.  I’ve had the pleasure of breaking down several gay fridges, but this is my first request for a bisexual woman.  Which is long overdue, as it happens to be my favorite kind ☺.

Now, in regard to her fridge, I did some extra homework on this one.  Why?  Because the number one thing that sticks out to me is ‘vegetarian’.  There’s always been chatter that lesbians are more likely to fall into the don’t-eat-meat category.

Does this theory hold water?  Well, I can’t say it’s the Hoover Dam, but it definitely holds something.   An easy answer might be that lesbians are more likely to skew to the left of center politically as do vegetarians.  Diving in further, here’s a quick roll of famous vegetarian lesbians:
•   Ellen Degeneris (One of my fave comedians)
•   Portia de Rossi
•   K.D. Lang
•   Martina Navrilatova  (My fave female tennis player)
•   Susan B. Anthony (My favorite coin)
•   Billy Jean King
•   Sarah McLachlan (A fave songwriter)
•   Amy Ray (Indigo Girls, love them)
•   Meredith Baxter
I feel like Adam Sandler can do a follow up to his Chanukah (and who’s Jewish) song with this impressive collection of A-list ladies.  And though I joke about my appreciation for lesbians (and my desire to get invited to topless pillow fights), all bullshit aside, I respect the hell out of these women.  Truly.

Now, focusing back on your Ginger, the vegetarian evidence is clear.   She has Vegetable Pakoras from Trader Joe’s, Morning Star vegan ‘bacon’ strips, veggie sausage, Amy’s veggies burritos and Dr. Praeger’s veggie burgers.

Not sure if those sausage-looking links in the fridge are vegan, but the odds that she wants to make-out with you have improved.  Nothing is universal, especially that a fridge determines sexual orientation, I’m just talking percentages.

I can also touch on the connection between tattoos and promiscuity (here’s an interesting article: http://tinyurl.com/kdqdxj5), but we’ll stick to what her fridge can tell us.

Per your question, I can see why she’s curvy.  A red cap for most dairies means whole milk, a bev she should not be drinking unless she’s 6.  It’s time for her to meet skim.

Now, I can’t tell you how quick you’ll get her into bed, but her fridge does say she’s date ready.  This girl is a Grade-A host.  She has multiple beer brands to cater to multiple tastes, plus the ammo needed for breakfast in bed, afternoon snacks, late night munchies, and dessert to top if it off.

Lastly, I’m glad to see she drinks.  Yes, there are some saucy sober ladies out there, but lets face it: liquor has greased the rails to Titillation Town for millennium.

So go forth, young lady and be bold. If she won’t hop into bed with you, it’s her loss.  Seriously.  (And mine, I’m dying to hear what happens)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 8
Right off the bat, she went out of her way to tell you she’s bisexual.  She’s obviously telling you this for a reason.  She might not be a lay-up, but she sure as hell ain’t a 3-pointer.

Throw in her tattoos and her fridge-bisexual backup, I can see you cruising down Lucky Lane.

Marry: 4.5
This one’s tough for me to judge on the marriage factor.  I have no idea if this girl will marry whomever she falls in love with, or she’s just experimenting with one side of the aisle.

I do like the fact she’s eating healthy, which is a great sign that she’ll hold up down the road.  Plus, I dig she buys organic and clearly looks out for the environment, an attractive caring quality in a person.

Boil your Bunny: 5
Nothing screams wackypack to me, but there are a few yellow flags.  She has a serious amount of schmutz on the bottom of her fridge and freezer, which offers evidence she’s not on top of things.

I also don’t like to see that her fridge shelves have been replaced with scrap from the lumberyard.  I’ve met an endless amount of wealthy wackos, but financial struggles do add stress to the day-to-day.

Lastly, getting a tattoo hurts like a bitch.  We’re all a little crazy, but if this girl is getting a boatload of tats, it does up her ante a bit.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Analysis

Hey Stonehill,

Just met this girl the other night, don’t know much about her yet. She’s exactly my type, red hair and tattoos plus a nice curvy body and she claims to be bisexual so I’m hoping to get her in bed soon. Anything you can tell me about her fridge?

-Evon (The Witty Girl)

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Evon,

That’s crazy, she’s my type, too! Well, not really (and I’m married), but she does sound super saucy.

I’m really glad to hear from you. I’ve had the pleasure of breaking down several gay fridges, but this is my first request for a bisexual woman. Which is long overdue, as it happens to be my favorite kind ☺.

Now, in regard to her fridge, I did some extra homework on this one. Why? Because the number one thing that sticks out to me is ‘vegetarian’. There’s always been chatter that lesbians are more likely to fall into the don’t-eat-meat category.

Does this theory hold water? Well, I can’t say it’s the Hoover Dam, but it definitely holds something. An easy answer might be that lesbians are more likely to skew to the left of center politically as do vegetarians. Diving in further, here’s a quick roll of famous vegetarian lesbians:
• Ellen Degeneris (One of my fave comedians)
• Portia de Rossi
• K.D. Lang
• Martina Navrilatova (My fave female tennis player)
• Susan B. Anthony (My favorite coin)
• Billy Jean King
• Sarah McLachlan (A fave songwriter)
• Amy Ray (Indigo Girls, love them)
• Meredith Baxter

I feel like Adam Sandler can do a follow up to his Chanukah (and who’s Jewish) song with this impressive collection of A-list ladies. And though I joke about my appreciation for lesbians (and my desire to get invited to topless pillow fights), all bullshit aside, I respect the hell out of these women. Truly.

Now, focusing back on your Ginger, the vegetarian evidence is clear. She has Vegetable Pakoras from Trader Joe’s, Morning Star vegan ‘bacon’ strips, veggie sausage, Amy’s veggies burritos and Dr. Praeger’s veggie burgers.

Not sure if those sausage-looking links in the fridge are vegan, but the odds that she wants to make-out with you have improved. Nothing is universal, especially that a fridge determines sexual orientation, I’m just talking percentages.

I can also touch on the connection between tattoos and promiscuity (here’s an interesting article: http://tinyurl.com/kdqdxj5), but we’ll stick to what her fridge can tell us.

Per your question, I can see why she’s curvy. A red cap for most dairies means whole milk, a bev she should not be drinking unless she’s 6. It’s time for her to meet skim.

Now, I can’t tell you how quick you’ll get her into bed, but her fridge does say she’s date ready. This girl is a Grade-A host. She has multiple beer brands to cater to multiple tastes, plus the ammo needed for breakfast in bed, afternoon snacks, late night munchies, and dessert to top if it off.

Lastly, I’m glad to see she drinks. Yes, there are some saucy sober ladies out there, but lets face it: liquor has greased the rails to Titillation Town for millennium.

So go forth, young lady and be bold. If she won’t hop into bed with you, it’s her loss. Seriously. (And mine, I’m dying to hear what happens)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 8
Right off the bat, she went out of her way to tell you she’s bisexual. She’s obviously telling you this for a reason. She might not be a lay-up, but she sure as hell ain’t a 3-pointer.

Throw in her tattoos and her fridge-bisexual backup, I can see you cruising down Lucky Lane.

Marry: 4.5
This one’s tough for me to judge on the marriage factor. I have no idea if this girl will marry whomever she falls in love with, or she’s just experimenting with one side of the aisle.

I do like the fact she’s eating healthy, which is a great sign that she’ll hold up down the road. Plus, I dig she buys organic and clearly looks out for the environment, an attractive caring quality in a person.

Boil your Bunny: 5
Nothing screams wackypack to me, but there are a few yellow flags. She has a serious amount of schmutz on the bottom of her fridge and freezer, which offers evidence she’s not on top of things.

I also don’t like to see that her fridge shelves have been replaced with scrap from the lumberyard. I’ve met an endless amount of wealthy wackos, but financial struggles do add stress to the day-to-day.

Lastly, getting a tattoo hurts like a bitch. We’re all a little crazy, but if this girl is getting a boatload of tats, it does up her ante a bit.

6Medium, Mustbang, Female, LGBT, Love, Dating, Relationships, Marriage, Advice, Food, Drinks, Refrigerator, Humor, Insight, Funny,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  My sister opens my fridge, and says I’ll never get a man. Curious. What do you think?
  
  -Julie


Stonehill Analysis

Julie, your fridge reminds me of a story.

When I was in 3rd grade, I had a teacher named Ms. Margolis.  One day, she walked into class and said she was no longer Ms. Margolis.  She was Mrs. Donowitz.

We were all like – watchu talkin’ about Ms. Margolis?  Ms. Margolis said she got married and now had her husband’s name.

This confused us even more.  How the hell could Ms. Margolis get married?  She was our teacher, she couldn’t be a wife.  That’s how we defined her.  And back then, we didn’t think you could have more than one role in life, the same way we saw our mom as a mom, not as a wife (or God forbid, a sexual dynamo to our father).

This one sided view of people never completely goes away.  Sometimes we define people by what they do, where they’re from, even who they’re with.

Now, I say all this as your fridge tells me that some might define you as one thing: a mom.

To be clear, your fridge tells me you’re more than just a mom.  But I can see you’re a mom as well.  (Whether or not you’re a sexual dynamo is out of my jurisdiction)

Why, a mom?

Well for starters, there’s no possible way one person can eat all this shit.   The fact that you have a stand-up model with temp controls also tells me you’re probably a homeowner, as they’re not usually found in rentals and thus, lessens the likelihood you have roommate.

The Eggo, Jimmy Dean and chicken nuggets are kid friendly, and with all that butter, I have to guess you either bake or you’re Amish.

Now, moving past madre-manor, I see you eat healthy.  Every serving of fruits and veggies ups the odds you look good naked by 5%.  With V8, broccoli, Greek Yogurt and salad in there, you do the math ☺.

One last definition I can pin on you is a Host.  And a damn good one.   You have the fuel necessary to have a date over for a nightcap and if you get lucky, a delish breakie come morning.

One of my top 5 things to have in your fridge is some kind of shareable snack/hors d’oeuvre.  And you have salsa.  Did you buy it to have a date over?  Probably not.  But it’s great to have, whoever you’re hosting.

In addition, you have multiple cheeses, enough beer to prime a frat party and wine to cover all palettes.  Though to quote Patrick Swayze, nobody puts beer in a corner.  Your fridge is a bit of a shit show and that beer deserves a proper shelf.

With the eggs, waffles, breakfast sandwiches, juice and milk, the last time I saw this much variety, I was hung-over at my neighborhood diner.  Very nice.

To put the cherry on your ‘sexiest breakfast fridge ever’ sundae, consider getting a bottle of real maple syrup.  Here’s an old Dating Ammo tip why: http://tinyurl.com/qx3z2j8

In conclusion, you’re not just a mom, a hottie and a host.  You’re date ready.  And that’s vital when you’re single.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 7.5
You’ve got what it takes to skew high on the Yummy Mummy Meter.  You also have the bevs needed to grease the rails to Titillation Town, and the snacks and breakie needed to keep him there.

As a mom, the time you have to date is probably more limited.  So I have to assume if you like a guy, you won’t waste that time playing games.

Marry: 5.5
You’re very impressive in the shag department.

In the marriage department, not as much.  You eat well and host well so you’re definitely above average.  But your fridge is a bit chaotic.  And chaos in one’s fridge usually translates to chaos in one’s life.

Your sis might be a bit harsh at times.  But when it comes to her assessment here, she does have some points.

Boil your Bunny: 3
The fact that you’re taking care of a kid(s) tells me you have enough on your plate, and if there’s one thing I know about boiling bunnies, it’s very time consuming.

So you get the benefit of the doubt here.  Your lack of organization bumps you up a few points, but I don’t feel the need to lock up my pets around you.
ZoomInfo
Camera
iPhone 5c
ISO
50
Aperture
f/2.4
Exposure
1/21th
Focal Length
4mm

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

My sister opens my fridge, and says I’ll never get a man. Curious. What do you think?

-Julie

Stonehill Analysis

Julie, your fridge reminds me of a story.

When I was in 3rd grade, I had a teacher named Ms. Margolis. One day, she walked into class and said she was no longer Ms. Margolis. She was Mrs. Donowitz.

We were all like – watchu talkin’ about Ms. Margolis? Ms. Margolis said she got married and now had her husband’s name.

This confused us even more. How the hell could Ms. Margolis get married? She was our teacher, she couldn’t be a wife. That’s how we defined her. And back then, we didn’t think you could have more than one role in life, the same way we saw our mom as a mom, not as a wife (or God forbid, a sexual dynamo to our father).

This one sided view of people never completely goes away. Sometimes we define people by what they do, where they’re from, even who they’re with.

Now, I say all this as your fridge tells me that some might define you as one thing: a mom.

To be clear, your fridge tells me you’re more than just a mom. But I can see you’re a mom as well. (Whether or not you’re a sexual dynamo is out of my jurisdiction)

Why, a mom?

Well for starters, there’s no possible way one person can eat all this shit. The fact that you have a stand-up model with temp controls also tells me you’re probably a homeowner, as they’re not usually found in rentals and thus, lessens the likelihood you have roommate.

The Eggo, Jimmy Dean and chicken nuggets are kid friendly, and with all that butter, I have to guess you either bake or you’re Amish.

Now, moving past madre-manor, I see you eat healthy. Every serving of fruits and veggies ups the odds you look good naked by 5%. With V8, broccoli, Greek Yogurt and salad in there, you do the math ☺.

One last definition I can pin on you is a Host. And a damn good one. You have the fuel necessary to have a date over for a nightcap and if you get lucky, a delish breakie come morning.

One of my top 5 things to have in your fridge is some kind of shareable snack/hors d’oeuvre. And you have salsa. Did you buy it to have a date over? Probably not. But it’s great to have, whoever you’re hosting.

In addition, you have multiple cheeses, enough beer to prime a frat party and wine to cover all palettes. Though to quote Patrick Swayze, nobody puts beer in a corner. Your fridge is a bit of a shit show and that beer deserves a proper shelf.

With the eggs, waffles, breakfast sandwiches, juice and milk, the last time I saw this much variety, I was hung-over at my neighborhood diner. Very nice.

To put the cherry on your ‘sexiest breakfast fridge ever’ sundae, consider getting a bottle of real maple syrup. Here’s an old Dating Ammo tip why: http://tinyurl.com/qx3z2j8

In conclusion, you’re not just a mom, a hottie and a host. You’re date ready. And that’s vital when you’re single.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 7.5
You’ve got what it takes to skew high on the Yummy Mummy Meter. You also have the bevs needed to grease the rails to Titillation Town, and the snacks and breakie needed to keep him there.

As a mom, the time you have to date is probably more limited. So I have to assume if you like a guy, you won’t waste that time playing games.

Marry: 5.5
You’re very impressive in the shag department.

In the marriage department, not as much. You eat well and host well so you’re definitely above average. But your fridge is a bit chaotic. And chaos in one’s fridge usually translates to chaos in one’s life.

Your sis might be a bit harsh at times. But when it comes to her assessment here, she does have some points.

Boil your Bunny: 3
The fact that you’re taking care of a kid(s) tells me you have enough on your plate, and if there’s one thing I know about boiling bunnies, it’s very time consuming.

So you get the benefit of the doubt here. Your lack of organization bumps you up a few points, but I don’t feel the need to lock up my pets around you.

6Medium, Mustbang, Dating, Love, Relationships, Marriage, Romance, Advice, Humor,

Jemm Radio UK


  I was a guest on the NDebz Radio Show on Jemm 1 Radio in the UK, with Hosts Neil Sexton and Debbie Ryan.
  
  http://www.jemmone.com/author/neilsexton/
  
  It was a pleasure to be one of their ‘Love Experts’ for Valentine’s Week.
  
  Per Neil’s request, I broke down his fridge.  Here my report.


Stonehill Analysis

There’s a clear cultural difference between European and American refrigeration.  If I saw Neil’s model in LA, it’d be like the Peter Dinklage of fridges.  Maybe Danny Devito on a good day.

But in the UK, you guys are more caring for the environment, and buy more of your ingredients for home-cooked meals fresh on that day, which I love.  In the US, we shop once a week out and shove as much shit into that fridge as possible.

Now, diving into Neil’s Fridge, it’s clean, a big plus.  Do I need to see spotless?  No.  But if the place where you store what’s going in your body is filthy, it’s a red flag. (I’ve watched enough Charlie Brown to know no one wanted to shag Pig Pen)

Neil’s fridge is also organized. Chaos in one’s fridge usually equals chaos on one’s life.  As I mentioned in my first Gay Fridge analysis http://tinyurl.com/muw9ftv, my gay friends are more culturally advanced (and cooler than I am), so I hold Neil up to a higher standard.

He’s not the natural born host I was hoping to see, but there are some positives…

For one, Neil is a healthy chap.  (And one we have to assume looks good naked.)  He’s eating well with chicken and turkey breast, and tons of veggies including carrots, which remind me of those giant mutated vegetables they had on Gilligan’s Island.

Now, some say if you want to know what your date is going to look like in 20 years, check out their mom or dad.  I say check out their fridge.  Cause what they’re putting in their bodies now is going to be a big factor in what they’re going to look like down the road.

Now on a different front, Neil has a serious supply of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’.  As I can’t believe he’s moonlighting as a body-double for Fabio, I look for other clues…and voila, he has Store, an ingredient to make cakes.  (And a great way to impress a lucky date :)

The fact that he shops at a Co-Op tells me he wants to support local businesses and cares about the environment.  This is backed up by his outdoor-bred pork, which brings up the well-known fact: happier pigs = tastier bacon.

Lastly, I don’t see any beer, wine or liquor.  He might store it elsewhere, but I wonder if he doesn’t drink.  Again, nothing is black and white, it’s about what’s a fit for us.  Speaking for myself, I’d get lonely if I always had to drink (and get occasionally sloppy drunk) alone.

Now, when it comes to dating, you have to put yourself out there.  If you have the time, even if it’s just a drink, you should go on as many dates as possible.

If Neil happens to be one of those dates, I don’t know if there’d be a love connection, but from what I see in his fridge, it’d be well-worth getting to know him better.
ZoomInfo
Jemm Radio UK


  I was a guest on the NDebz Radio Show on Jemm 1 Radio in the UK, with Hosts Neil Sexton and Debbie Ryan.
  
  http://www.jemmone.com/author/neilsexton/
  
  It was a pleasure to be one of their ‘Love Experts’ for Valentine’s Week.
  
  Per Neil’s request, I broke down his fridge.  Here my report.


Stonehill Analysis

There’s a clear cultural difference between European and American refrigeration.  If I saw Neil’s model in LA, it’d be like the Peter Dinklage of fridges.  Maybe Danny Devito on a good day.

But in the UK, you guys are more caring for the environment, and buy more of your ingredients for home-cooked meals fresh on that day, which I love.  In the US, we shop once a week out and shove as much shit into that fridge as possible.

Now, diving into Neil’s Fridge, it’s clean, a big plus.  Do I need to see spotless?  No.  But if the place where you store what’s going in your body is filthy, it’s a red flag. (I’ve watched enough Charlie Brown to know no one wanted to shag Pig Pen)

Neil’s fridge is also organized. Chaos in one’s fridge usually equals chaos on one’s life.  As I mentioned in my first Gay Fridge analysis http://tinyurl.com/muw9ftv, my gay friends are more culturally advanced (and cooler than I am), so I hold Neil up to a higher standard.

He’s not the natural born host I was hoping to see, but there are some positives…

For one, Neil is a healthy chap.  (And one we have to assume looks good naked.)  He’s eating well with chicken and turkey breast, and tons of veggies including carrots, which remind me of those giant mutated vegetables they had on Gilligan’s Island.

Now, some say if you want to know what your date is going to look like in 20 years, check out their mom or dad.  I say check out their fridge.  Cause what they’re putting in their bodies now is going to be a big factor in what they’re going to look like down the road.

Now on a different front, Neil has a serious supply of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’.  As I can’t believe he’s moonlighting as a body-double for Fabio, I look for other clues…and voila, he has Store, an ingredient to make cakes.  (And a great way to impress a lucky date :)

The fact that he shops at a Co-Op tells me he wants to support local businesses and cares about the environment.  This is backed up by his outdoor-bred pork, which brings up the well-known fact: happier pigs = tastier bacon.

Lastly, I don’t see any beer, wine or liquor.  He might store it elsewhere, but I wonder if he doesn’t drink.  Again, nothing is black and white, it’s about what’s a fit for us.  Speaking for myself, I’d get lonely if I always had to drink (and get occasionally sloppy drunk) alone.

Now, when it comes to dating, you have to put yourself out there.  If you have the time, even if it’s just a drink, you should go on as many dates as possible.

If Neil happens to be one of those dates, I don’t know if there’d be a love connection, but from what I see in his fridge, it’d be well-worth getting to know him better.
ZoomInfo

Jemm Radio UK

I was a guest on the NDebz Radio Show on Jemm 1 Radio in the UK, with Hosts Neil Sexton and Debbie Ryan.

http://www.jemmone.com/author/neilsexton/

It was a pleasure to be one of their ‘Love Experts’ for Valentine’s Week.

Per Neil’s request, I broke down his fridge. Here my report.

Stonehill Analysis

There’s a clear cultural difference between European and American refrigeration. If I saw Neil’s model in LA, it’d be like the Peter Dinklage of fridges. Maybe Danny Devito on a good day.

But in the UK, you guys are more caring for the environment, and buy more of your ingredients for home-cooked meals fresh on that day, which I love. In the US, we shop once a week out and shove as much shit into that fridge as possible.

Now, diving into Neil’s Fridge, it’s clean, a big plus. Do I need to see spotless? No. But if the place where you store what’s going in your body is filthy, it’s a red flag. (I’ve watched enough Charlie Brown to know no one wanted to shag Pig Pen)

Neil’s fridge is also organized. Chaos in one’s fridge usually equals chaos on one’s life. As I mentioned in my first Gay Fridge analysis http://tinyurl.com/muw9ftv, my gay friends are more culturally advanced (and cooler than I am), so I hold Neil up to a higher standard.

He’s not the natural born host I was hoping to see, but there are some positives…

For one, Neil is a healthy chap. (And one we have to assume looks good naked.) He’s eating well with chicken and turkey breast, and tons of veggies including carrots, which remind me of those giant mutated vegetables they had on Gilligan’s Island.

Now, some say if you want to know what your date is going to look like in 20 years, check out their mom or dad. I say check out their fridge. Cause what they’re putting in their bodies now is going to be a big factor in what they’re going to look like down the road.

Now on a different front, Neil has a serious supply of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’. As I can’t believe he’s moonlighting as a body-double for Fabio, I look for other clues…and voila, he has Store, an ingredient to make cakes. (And a great way to impress a lucky date :)

The fact that he shops at a Co-Op tells me he wants to support local businesses and cares about the environment. This is backed up by his outdoor-bred pork, which brings up the well-known fact: happier pigs = tastier bacon.

Lastly, I don’t see any beer, wine or liquor. He might store it elsewhere, but I wonder if he doesn’t drink. Again, nothing is black and white, it’s about what’s a fit for us. Speaking for myself, I’d get lonely if I always had to drink (and get occasionally sloppy drunk) alone.

Now, when it comes to dating, you have to put yourself out there. If you have the time, even if it’s just a drink, you should go on as many dates as possible.

If Neil happens to be one of those dates, I don’t know if there’d be a love connection, but from what I see in his fridge, it’d be well-worth getting to know him better.

6Medium, BGLT, Mustbang, Dating, Romance, Relationship, Advice, Love,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  I need a fridge checkup here.  (Yes, it’s mine)  And don’t be gentle.
  
  -Tara


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Tara, no gentleness required, your fridge tells me you’re a chick I’d love to set up my buddies with.  Here’s why…

You have a career, yet you’re not all consumed by it.

The Pellegrino backs this up as you’re upscale and have the money to afford high-end products.  And the foreign (more expensive) beer says you’re either just one of the guys, or if the beer is not for you, you put thought into pleasing the guy you have over.

The three bottles of vino tells me you enjoy your happy juice, both day (Rose) and night (Red).  And the brands say expensive, reinforcing you’ve got dinero.  The hams/prociutto says you love to snack with the wine you enjoy, whether for some afternoon drinking or late night wine back at your place.  (Survey says, bing!)

Now, you’re also a girl that has a shit-load of condiments.  I mean, how many mustards can one woman have?  There’s like ten here!  You don’t cook much, as there’s not many ingredients to make dishes from scratch, but it does say you do a lot of take out, and you’re very specific about which condiment goes well with your numerous takeout dishes.

Plus, with this many condiments, you definitely eat a lot of meat, a big plus.  (And a good sign you love to shag)  I’m also glad that your condiments say you’re down-to-earth and enjoy foods that most guys love: Heinz ketchup, Grey Poupon and Hellman’s Mayo, the big three for a quality cookout.

Lastly, I can see you attempt to be healthy as the Zico, fresh berries and butter lettuce show the effort is there, thus a good chance you have a nice tush.  And the Zico and fresh berries are expensive, reinforcing you’ve got Benjamins.

(One item that does stick out is the half-gallon of whole milk: as the rest of your fridge screams healthy grown-up, I’d assume it’s for your coffee and when that inevitably goes stale before finishing, Coffee Mate.)

So, here’s what I’d tell my buddies…nice tush, down-to-earth shekels and shags.  It’s a blind date, what more can he ask for?

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 6.5
You’re busy with your career and don’t have time to play games, but you do put effort into catering to the guy, which also tells me you’re looking for something long term, thus don’t want to give it up too quick.

Marry: 8
You got beer, tons of wine and ham to munch on, plus you’re a big time meat eater.  Alll huge plusses and marry-this-chick-now qualities.  As you’re a career woman, many in your shoes don’t let the guy be the guy and that lowers the score a couple of points.  If you let the guy lead (even if you make more money than him), you’re golden.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
You got her hands full with a career, friends, etc. thus not a lot of time to stalk.  But you also got like 10 freakin mustards here.  That takes a shitload of thought.  Anyone that can over-think anything that much has bunny-boiler potential.
ZoomInfo
Camera
iPhone 5
ISO
50
Aperture
f/2.4
Exposure
1/32th
Focal Length
4mm

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

I need a fridge checkup here. (Yes, it’s mine) And don’t be gentle.

-Tara

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Tara, no gentleness required, your fridge tells me you’re a chick I’d love to set up my buddies with. Here’s why…

You have a career, yet you’re not all consumed by it.

The Pellegrino backs this up as you’re upscale and have the money to afford high-end products. And the foreign (more expensive) beer says you’re either just one of the guys, or if the beer is not for you, you put thought into pleasing the guy you have over.

The three bottles of vino tells me you enjoy your happy juice, both day (Rose) and night (Red). And the brands say expensive, reinforcing you’ve got dinero. The hams/prociutto says you love to snack with the wine you enjoy, whether for some afternoon drinking or late night wine back at your place. (Survey says, bing!)

Now, you’re also a girl that has a shit-load of condiments. I mean, how many mustards can one woman have? There’s like ten here! You don’t cook much, as there’s not many ingredients to make dishes from scratch, but it does say you do a lot of take out, and you’re very specific about which condiment goes well with your numerous takeout dishes.

Plus, with this many condiments, you definitely eat a lot of meat, a big plus. (And a good sign you love to shag) I’m also glad that your condiments say you’re down-to-earth and enjoy foods that most guys love: Heinz ketchup, Grey Poupon and Hellman’s Mayo, the big three for a quality cookout.

Lastly, I can see you attempt to be healthy as the Zico, fresh berries and butter lettuce show the effort is there, thus a good chance you have a nice tush. And the Zico and fresh berries are expensive, reinforcing you’ve got Benjamins.

(One item that does stick out is the half-gallon of whole milk: as the rest of your fridge screams healthy grown-up, I’d assume it’s for your coffee and when that inevitably goes stale before finishing, Coffee Mate.)

So, here’s what I’d tell my buddies…nice tush, down-to-earth shekels and shags. It’s a blind date, what more can he ask for?

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 6.5
You’re busy with your career and don’t have time to play games, but you do put effort into catering to the guy, which also tells me you’re looking for something long term, thus don’t want to give it up too quick.

Marry: 8
You got beer, tons of wine and ham to munch on, plus you’re a big time meat eater. Alll huge plusses and marry-this-chick-now qualities. As you’re a career woman, many in your shoes don’t let the guy be the guy and that lowers the score a couple of points. If you let the guy lead (even if you make more money than him), you’re golden.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
You got her hands full with a career, friends, etc. thus not a lot of time to stalk. But you also got like 10 freakin mustards here. That takes a shitload of thought. Anyone that can over-think anything that much has bunny-boiler potential.

6Medium, Mustbang, Romance, Love, Dating, Relationship, Advice, Valentine's Day, Female,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  This is my boyfriend’s fridge. What do you think? We’ve been dating for about 5 months.
  
  Love your blog! :)
  
  -Stacie,


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Stacie,

We’re all dating detectives in our own way.  Some of us might judge our dates on how they dress.  Others judge on what’s on their bookshelves.  Living in LA, some judge on what they drive.  (I have a few thoughts on the car front, which I’ll post on Twitter today: https://twitter.com/checktheirfridg)

I’ve found the most accurate indicator to be their refrigerator.  Now, as I’ve always said, when it comes to dating, nothing is black and white.   And when it comes to someone’s fridge, it never tells his or her whole picture.

But what’s in someone’s fridge does offer clues into their lifestyle and thus, what it would be like to date them.

When I look at your boyfriend’s fridge, can I tell if he’s the guy for you?  Of course not, only you’ll know that.  But we do get some insight…

The man’s got money

He’s got a side-by-side model.  It’s generally more expensive than a top-bottom fridge and I can see by the left door, he’s got an ice/water dispenser, a luxe feature.  This tells me he’s either a homeowner, or in a high-end rental.

Does money = happiness?  Hell no.  But it is one less issue to fight about if you guys move forward.

The fact that the manual is in the bottom drawer indicates that he’s either ludicrously lazy or has never fully settled in.  You’d think if he was going to stick around, he’d put the damn thing in a drawer or chuck it by now.

He’s more about taking out than cooking in

If his condiment shelf was any more populated, it’d look like India.  It’s clear most of his meals are prepared anywhere but his kitchen.

He might grill, which I like to see, as he has hotdogs and the BBQ big 3: mayo, mustard and ketchup.  His other big meal is breakfast.  He’s got eggs, bacon, country Crock and Coffee Mate for home brewed coffee.  Chances are this is your crash pad on weekends.

He’s in good shape

He’s got Promax Protein Energy bars to fuel his workouts and build muscle.   Plus, he downs Fish Oil, high in Omega-3 fatty acids, to prevent heart disease.

That, combined with his lack of junk food, tells me he puts a fine food forward to look good naked.  As I preach, if you can’t make the effort to look your best when you’re single, odds are you’ll look even worse later.

The Dude abides

Your BF drinks like a man.  No offense to Vodka, but it’s not a manly drink.  It’s basically an alcohol to mix with something so it tastes like that something.

He’s more of a guy’s guy, as he prefers bourbon and Whiskey (though his Jameson should be larger than a Dixie Cup).  For extra credit, he’s got tequila and beer on standby.

He’s from the Midwest

At times, a fridge can offer clues on geography and it does so here.   He has Hy-Vee Grape Jelly.  It’s a supermarket chain from the Midwest, and he ether lives there now or is pathetically cheap and dragged his jelly with him.

Of course, there’s more items to go on and I can’t say with absolute certainty whether he’s a doll or a douche.  But I do like what I see here.  And that’s always a good start.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 7
The guy looks like he’s got game to close early.  He’s probably social (he has a large bag of ice even though he’s got an ice maker), in shag shape and is financially independent.

That combined with liquor for a nightcap, ice cream for dessert and breakfast in bed come morning?  I don’t know what you’re attracted to, but we all need to clean the pipes and I see nothing here that would stop you.

Marry: 7
I see qualities that are important in a partner.  He looks like he has his shit together, takes pride in his looks, and knows how to have a good time.

That’s enough to stick around Positive Town.  To paint this picture any further, we’d need more insight from you.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
The only red flag I see is the manual.  For whatever reason, it seems a bit weird that he’s been living in his pad for a while, yet can’t find a better place for it.

The left door can use a wipe down, but it’s a relatively neat fridge and even has baking soda.  Looks like all’s quiet on the Wackypack Front.
ZoomInfo
Camera
Samsung SPH-L710
ISO
160
Aperture
f/2.6
Exposure
1/15th
Focal Length
3mm

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

This is my boyfriend’s fridge. What do you think? We’ve been dating for about 5 months.

Love your blog! :)

-Stacie,

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Stacie,

We’re all dating detectives in our own way. Some of us might judge our dates on how they dress. Others judge on what’s on their bookshelves. Living in LA, some judge on what they drive. (I have a few thoughts on the car front, which I’ll post on Twitter today: https://twitter.com/checktheirfridg)

I’ve found the most accurate indicator to be their refrigerator. Now, as I’ve always said, when it comes to dating, nothing is black and white. And when it comes to someone’s fridge, it never tells his or her whole picture.

But what’s in someone’s fridge does offer clues into their lifestyle and thus, what it would be like to date them.

When I look at your boyfriend’s fridge, can I tell if he’s the guy for you? Of course not, only you’ll know that. But we do get some insight…

The man’s got money

He’s got a side-by-side model. It’s generally more expensive than a top-bottom fridge and I can see by the left door, he’s got an ice/water dispenser, a luxe feature. This tells me he’s either a homeowner, or in a high-end rental.

Does money = happiness? Hell no. But it is one less issue to fight about if you guys move forward.

The fact that the manual is in the bottom drawer indicates that he’s either ludicrously lazy or has never fully settled in. You’d think if he was going to stick around, he’d put the damn thing in a drawer or chuck it by now.

He’s more about taking out than cooking in

If his condiment shelf was any more populated, it’d look like India. It’s clear most of his meals are prepared anywhere but his kitchen.

He might grill, which I like to see, as he has hotdogs and the BBQ big 3: mayo, mustard and ketchup. His other big meal is breakfast. He’s got eggs, bacon, country Crock and Coffee Mate for home brewed coffee. Chances are this is your crash pad on weekends.

He’s in good shape

He’s got Promax Protein Energy bars to fuel his workouts and build muscle. Plus, he downs Fish Oil, high in Omega-3 fatty acids, to prevent heart disease.

That, combined with his lack of junk food, tells me he puts a fine food forward to look good naked. As I preach, if you can’t make the effort to look your best when you’re single, odds are you’ll look even worse later.

The Dude abides

Your BF drinks like a man. No offense to Vodka, but it’s not a manly drink. It’s basically an alcohol to mix with something so it tastes like that something.

He’s more of a guy’s guy, as he prefers bourbon and Whiskey (though his Jameson should be larger than a Dixie Cup). For extra credit, he’s got tequila and beer on standby.

He’s from the Midwest

At times, a fridge can offer clues on geography and it does so here. He has Hy-Vee Grape Jelly. It’s a supermarket chain from the Midwest, and he ether lives there now or is pathetically cheap and dragged his jelly with him.

Of course, there’s more items to go on and I can’t say with absolute certainty whether he’s a doll or a douche. But I do like what I see here. And that’s always a good start.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 7
The guy looks like he’s got game to close early. He’s probably social (he has a large bag of ice even though he’s got an ice maker), in shag shape and is financially independent.

That combined with liquor for a nightcap, ice cream for dessert and breakfast in bed come morning? I don’t know what you’re attracted to, but we all need to clean the pipes and I see nothing here that would stop you.

Marry: 7
I see qualities that are important in a partner. He looks like he has his shit together, takes pride in his looks, and knows how to have a good time.

That’s enough to stick around Positive Town. To paint this picture any further, we’d need more insight from you.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
The only red flag I see is the manual. For whatever reason, it seems a bit weird that he’s been living in his pad for a while, yet can’t find a better place for it.

The left door can use a wipe down, but it’s a relatively neat fridge and even has baking soda. Looks like all’s quiet on the Wackypack Front.

6Medium, Mustbang, Love, Dating, Romance, Advice, Relationships, Male,

Fridge Post #39


  Stonehill,
  
  The reasons I’m interested to hear your analogy is because much like other aspects of my “dating life” there seems to be a pattern.
  
  The guy I just recently started going out with, and it didn’t begin with him, every time he comes over, once initial pleasantries are exchanged and brief small talk has ensued, he goes straight to my kitchen and without even asking opens my fridge/freezer and stands there inspecting the contents. Let me add that I’m a relatively well-versed girl in the area of hospitality and always ask any guest if they would like something to drink, etc. upon their arrival to my home.
  
  When I ask him what he’s looking for he says “Oh, nothing. Just looking.” On a side note, we met in late November and see each other an average of twice a week and have not solidified a “full on intimate” relationship as of yet.
  
  I find it interesting behavior as first of all I wouldn’t go into his or anyone except maybe a relative’s or best friend’s house and open their fridge without at least asking. I’m not put off by it, just curious about both his motivation and possible thoughts about me, us, whatever… And for my own sake, I wanna know what my Fridgedaire is saying to others!
  
  He is not by any stretch my “boyfriend,” as I mentioned previously, it’s all really recent stuff. When I was discussing it with friends, as to whether it seemed rude, or what, one of them said it was a “sign of intimacy and comfortableness” and then they mentioned your site, which I obviously visited, and here we are now :)
  
  This was probably way more info than you bargained for however I am totally intrigued by the reasons behind the behavior and the impression the contents and order of my fridge/freezer are giving.
  
  -Susan


Stonehill Analysis

Susan,

Thanks for the background!  I think your dude feels what I (and many of us feel) when checking someone’s fridge.  At first it might be instinctual, but it truly does give a feel for the person and a roadmap of what it’d be like to hang out at their pad in the future.

Now why you’ve been hanging out with this guy since November and haven’t done the deed is TBD, but it’s been way too long to still be in the Patty Cake phase.

Lets check your fridge, and see what it tells us…

Right off the bat, you make an effort to be healthy.  Which brings up the classic formula: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.  (And evidence your non-boyfriend boyfriend is either not interested, has no game or has an epic case of blue balls)

Sharing a common lifestyle is important when it comes to dating, and your fridge says you eat well and exercise.  You have veggies and enough Silk on hand for healthy cereals, bevs and half your neighborhood’s stray cats.

You’re buying organic, like Amy’s, eggs and Matt’s OJ, which tells me you’re willing to spend more on the health (and environment) front, plus you have enough bottled water for those on-the-go workouts.  If bottled water were your primary source of water at home, I’d assume you’d buy larger containers.

Now, you’re also a brand person.  You’re willing to pay a premium to ensure quality.  If you’re brand conscious in your fridge, you probably are in other aspects of your life.

There’s a match out there for everyone, but I’ve seen couples that didn’t mesh cause of differing spending habits.  My feeling is if you can’t afford the extra 80 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

One more ‘feel’ I get about you is this: Sheena was Queen of the Dessert…you’re the Queen of Breakfast.  And I love it.

Nothing says more ‘Weekend’ to me than coffee and the paper in bed, pancakes, eggs and omelets.  And you got it all, including pure maple syrup, rather than that Log Cabin shit.

Pure maple syrup costs way more and tastes way better, which again, reflects your personality.  I did notice that both syrups are open, yet neither are finished.  Perhaps you have a habit of moving onto what’s new without finishing what’s now.  (Just a possibility)

Now, as I touched on earlier, much of these fridge observations are instinctual.  We get a feel.  And I can see why your dude keep eying yours…

You’re nourishing, without being desperate.  You’re organized without being anal.  You’re cute without making me wanna puke.  I mean, you have frosted mugs in your freezer and a whole collection of magnets to entertain on the fridge door.

Are you meant to be with this guy?  No clue.  But from what I see, he’d be missing out if he didn’t get to know you better.  (Starting with some overdue rogering, of course ☺)

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 2
This is a tough one.  By the contents of your fridge, many signs point to Titillation Town.  You have beers mugs on standby, munchies at the ready and the perfect breakfast to whip up come morning.

But, the industry standard for shagging is 3-4 dates.  And you’re already knocking on 2 seasons, here.   That’s a stat I can’t ignore.  I do believe a guy should have the balls to make the first move.  But it also takes 2 to Tango.  And you should have Tangoed the shit out of him by now.

Marry: 7

I see major assets here.  You’re cool, fun, healthy and have it together, all wrapped up in, what I’d like to assume, is a tight package.

But when you say pattern, I’m not sure if you’re saying the common thread is they check your fridge, or that in addition, your relationships stay casual and non-sexual.

Whatever you want out of your relationships, you need to dictate that to the men you’re dating.   The ability to communicate one’s needs in a relationship is vital.

After a couple of months, the Test Drive phase is over.  If you want the kind of intimate relationship that, if working, eventually leads to marriage, that’s what you should have.

See my Date Tip here on how to tell him: http://tinyurl.com/lj4hsor

Boil your Bunny: 2
Though I see you have the condiments needed to grill animals, I don’t see any evidence that you boil furry ones.  You truly seem to be a well-grounded chica.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Post #39


  Stonehill,
  
  The reasons I’m interested to hear your analogy is because much like other aspects of my “dating life” there seems to be a pattern.
  
  The guy I just recently started going out with, and it didn’t begin with him, every time he comes over, once initial pleasantries are exchanged and brief small talk has ensued, he goes straight to my kitchen and without even asking opens my fridge/freezer and stands there inspecting the contents. Let me add that I’m a relatively well-versed girl in the area of hospitality and always ask any guest if they would like something to drink, etc. upon their arrival to my home.
  
  When I ask him what he’s looking for he says “Oh, nothing. Just looking.” On a side note, we met in late November and see each other an average of twice a week and have not solidified a “full on intimate” relationship as of yet.
  
  I find it interesting behavior as first of all I wouldn’t go into his or anyone except maybe a relative’s or best friend’s house and open their fridge without at least asking. I’m not put off by it, just curious about both his motivation and possible thoughts about me, us, whatever… And for my own sake, I wanna know what my Fridgedaire is saying to others!
  
  He is not by any stretch my “boyfriend,” as I mentioned previously, it’s all really recent stuff. When I was discussing it with friends, as to whether it seemed rude, or what, one of them said it was a “sign of intimacy and comfortableness” and then they mentioned your site, which I obviously visited, and here we are now :)
  
  This was probably way more info than you bargained for however I am totally intrigued by the reasons behind the behavior and the impression the contents and order of my fridge/freezer are giving.
  
  -Susan


Stonehill Analysis

Susan,

Thanks for the background!  I think your dude feels what I (and many of us feel) when checking someone’s fridge.  At first it might be instinctual, but it truly does give a feel for the person and a roadmap of what it’d be like to hang out at their pad in the future.

Now why you’ve been hanging out with this guy since November and haven’t done the deed is TBD, but it’s been way too long to still be in the Patty Cake phase.

Lets check your fridge, and see what it tells us…

Right off the bat, you make an effort to be healthy.  Which brings up the classic formula: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.  (And evidence your non-boyfriend boyfriend is either not interested, has no game or has an epic case of blue balls)

Sharing a common lifestyle is important when it comes to dating, and your fridge says you eat well and exercise.  You have veggies and enough Silk on hand for healthy cereals, bevs and half your neighborhood’s stray cats.

You’re buying organic, like Amy’s, eggs and Matt’s OJ, which tells me you’re willing to spend more on the health (and environment) front, plus you have enough bottled water for those on-the-go workouts.  If bottled water were your primary source of water at home, I’d assume you’d buy larger containers.

Now, you’re also a brand person.  You’re willing to pay a premium to ensure quality.  If you’re brand conscious in your fridge, you probably are in other aspects of your life.

There’s a match out there for everyone, but I’ve seen couples that didn’t mesh cause of differing spending habits.  My feeling is if you can’t afford the extra 80 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

One more ‘feel’ I get about you is this: Sheena was Queen of the Dessert…you’re the Queen of Breakfast.  And I love it.

Nothing says more ‘Weekend’ to me than coffee and the paper in bed, pancakes, eggs and omelets.  And you got it all, including pure maple syrup, rather than that Log Cabin shit.

Pure maple syrup costs way more and tastes way better, which again, reflects your personality.  I did notice that both syrups are open, yet neither are finished.  Perhaps you have a habit of moving onto what’s new without finishing what’s now.  (Just a possibility)

Now, as I touched on earlier, much of these fridge observations are instinctual.  We get a feel.  And I can see why your dude keep eying yours…

You’re nourishing, without being desperate.  You’re organized without being anal.  You’re cute without making me wanna puke.  I mean, you have frosted mugs in your freezer and a whole collection of magnets to entertain on the fridge door.

Are you meant to be with this guy?  No clue.  But from what I see, he’d be missing out if he didn’t get to know you better.  (Starting with some overdue rogering, of course ☺)

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 2
This is a tough one.  By the contents of your fridge, many signs point to Titillation Town.  You have beers mugs on standby, munchies at the ready and the perfect breakfast to whip up come morning.

But, the industry standard for shagging is 3-4 dates.  And you’re already knocking on 2 seasons, here.   That’s a stat I can’t ignore.  I do believe a guy should have the balls to make the first move.  But it also takes 2 to Tango.  And you should have Tangoed the shit out of him by now.

Marry: 7

I see major assets here.  You’re cool, fun, healthy and have it together, all wrapped up in, what I’d like to assume, is a tight package.

But when you say pattern, I’m not sure if you’re saying the common thread is they check your fridge, or that in addition, your relationships stay casual and non-sexual.

Whatever you want out of your relationships, you need to dictate that to the men you’re dating.   The ability to communicate one’s needs in a relationship is vital.

After a couple of months, the Test Drive phase is over.  If you want the kind of intimate relationship that, if working, eventually leads to marriage, that’s what you should have.

See my Date Tip here on how to tell him: http://tinyurl.com/lj4hsor

Boil your Bunny: 2
Though I see you have the condiments needed to grill animals, I don’t see any evidence that you boil furry ones.  You truly seem to be a well-grounded chica.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Post #39

Stonehill,

The reasons I’m interested to hear your analogy is because much like other aspects of my “dating life” there seems to be a pattern.

The guy I just recently started going out with, and it didn’t begin with him, every time he comes over, once initial pleasantries are exchanged and brief small talk has ensued, he goes straight to my kitchen and without even asking opens my fridge/freezer and stands there inspecting the contents. Let me add that I’m a relatively well-versed girl in the area of hospitality and always ask any guest if they would like something to drink, etc. upon their arrival to my home.

When I ask him what he’s looking for he says “Oh, nothing. Just looking.” On a side note, we met in late November and see each other an average of twice a week and have not solidified a “full on intimate” relationship as of yet.

I find it interesting behavior as first of all I wouldn’t go into his or anyone except maybe a relative’s or best friend’s house and open their fridge without at least asking. I’m not put off by it, just curious about both his motivation and possible thoughts about me, us, whatever… And for my own sake, I wanna know what my Fridgedaire is saying to others!

He is not by any stretch my “boyfriend,” as I mentioned previously, it’s all really recent stuff. When I was discussing it with friends, as to whether it seemed rude, or what, one of them said it was a “sign of intimacy and comfortableness” and then they mentioned your site, which I obviously visited, and here we are now :)

This was probably way more info than you bargained for however I am totally intrigued by the reasons behind the behavior and the impression the contents and order of my fridge/freezer are giving.

-Susan

Stonehill Analysis

Susan,

Thanks for the background! I think your dude feels what I (and many of us feel) when checking someone’s fridge. At first it might be instinctual, but it truly does give a feel for the person and a roadmap of what it’d be like to hang out at their pad in the future.

Now why you’ve been hanging out with this guy since November and haven’t done the deed is TBD, but it’s been way too long to still be in the Patty Cake phase.

Lets check your fridge, and see what it tells us…

Right off the bat, you make an effort to be healthy. Which brings up the classic formula: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set. (And evidence your non-boyfriend boyfriend is either not interested, has no game or has an epic case of blue balls)

Sharing a common lifestyle is important when it comes to dating, and your fridge says you eat well and exercise. You have veggies and enough Silk on hand for healthy cereals, bevs and half your neighborhood’s stray cats.

You’re buying organic, like Amy’s, eggs and Matt’s OJ, which tells me you’re willing to spend more on the health (and environment) front, plus you have enough bottled water for those on-the-go workouts. If bottled water were your primary source of water at home, I’d assume you’d buy larger containers.

Now, you’re also a brand person. You’re willing to pay a premium to ensure quality. If you’re brand conscious in your fridge, you probably are in other aspects of your life.

There’s a match out there for everyone, but I’ve seen couples that didn’t mesh cause of differing spending habits. My feeling is if you can’t afford the extra 80 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

One more ‘feel’ I get about you is this: Sheena was Queen of the Dessert…you’re the Queen of Breakfast. And I love it.

Nothing says more ‘Weekend’ to me than coffee and the paper in bed, pancakes, eggs and omelets. And you got it all, including pure maple syrup, rather than that Log Cabin shit.

Pure maple syrup costs way more and tastes way better, which again, reflects your personality. I did notice that both syrups are open, yet neither are finished. Perhaps you have a habit of moving onto what’s new without finishing what’s now. (Just a possibility)

Now, as I touched on earlier, much of these fridge observations are instinctual. We get a feel. And I can see why your dude keep eying yours…

You’re nourishing, without being desperate. You’re organized without being anal. You’re cute without making me wanna puke. I mean, you have frosted mugs in your freezer and a whole collection of magnets to entertain on the fridge door.

Are you meant to be with this guy? No clue. But from what I see, he’d be missing out if he didn’t get to know you better. (Starting with some overdue rogering, of course ☺)

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 2
This is a tough one. By the contents of your fridge, many signs point to Titillation Town. You have beers mugs on standby, munchies at the ready and the perfect breakfast to whip up come morning.

But, the industry standard for shagging is 3-4 dates. And you’re already knocking on 2 seasons, here. That’s a stat I can’t ignore. I do believe a guy should have the balls to make the first move. But it also takes 2 to Tango. And you should have Tangoed the shit out of him by now.

Marry: 7

I see major assets here. You’re cool, fun, healthy and have it together, all wrapped up in, what I’d like to assume, is a tight package.

But when you say pattern, I’m not sure if you’re saying the common thread is they check your fridge, or that in addition, your relationships stay casual and non-sexual.

Whatever you want out of your relationships, you need to dictate that to the men you’re dating. The ability to communicate one’s needs in a relationship is vital.

After a couple of months, the Test Drive phase is over. If you want the kind of intimate relationship that, if working, eventually leads to marriage, that’s what you should have.

See my Date Tip here on how to tell him: http://tinyurl.com/lj4hsor

Boil your Bunny: 2
Though I see you have the condiments needed to grill animals, I don’t see any evidence that you boil furry ones. You truly seem to be a well-grounded chica.

6Medium, Mustbang, Female,

Fridge Post #36


  Stonehill,
  
  Help! This is my fridge. What do you think?
  
  -Sarah


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Sarah,

Something important to see in a potential partner is that they have friends of the opposite sex.  Even though When Harry Met Sally was my one of my fave flicks of all time, men and women should be friends.  (As long as one doesn’t want to shag the other’s brains out)

I’ve met those who didn’t have friends of the opposite sex and it was always a red flag.

I say this as it’s obvious that you have a stash of guy friends.  Why?  Cause I can’t imagine the PBR, IPA, hot sauce and Big 3 BBQ condiments (Mayo, Mustard and Ketchup) are all for your girls when they come over to watch reruns of Sex and the City.

Now, we all have to believe in something.   I believe in Stereotypes.  No offense to God, the constitution or the iPhone.  The world is just too damn complicated and stereotypes can make the chaos a bit less chaotic.

When it comes to women, no stereotype reveals more about a woman than ‘The Girl Next Door’.  We all have that image pop into our mind.  Whether it’s Amy Adams, Winnie Cooper, or that chick from Father of the Bride, what’s so special about this girl is no matter how butt-ugly a guy is, he feels like he has shot with her.

And that is special.  That says something about they type of person The GND is.  Cute, but not hot.   Bright, but you can actually understand what she’s saying.   Charming, yet humble.  Talented, yet still a team player.  And possesses confidence, yet has a healthy dose of vulnerability.

If a guy is not a total douche, this is a girl he roots for.  This is the first girl we fell in love as boys.  Yet, takes us the longest to appreciate as men.

And this is a GND fridge.  As I listed above, you have plenty of supplies to make a guy feel at home.  Yet there’s a wholesome side to you as well.  All 4 food groups are represented, and though you have food and drink to have fun, you also eat healthy.

You have an impressive lineup of fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, hummus and you even have Cuties, which fall under the ‘cute’ food category.

Healthy is vital when it comes to dating.  You often hear  ‘check out her mom to see what she’ll look like in 20 years.’  I say check out her fridge.

On the wholesome front, you’re looking out for the environment.   You have a Brita, so you’re not chucking plastic and you’re buying organic, thus a pal of Mother Earth.

On the dating front, it’s important to be prepared and you are.   If we’re hosting a date, we need drinks on standby and bing, you got Grey Goose and Absolut in your freezer.

I also like that you’re about brunch, which is a nice Continuation Date if a dude stays over.  You got bagels, cream cheese and lox, plus Coffeemate, which tells me you brew your own coffee.

Now, on the help front, you don’t need much, but it is time to move beyond the mini bottles.  Though I love that you have champagne, you’re a grownup so step up to a grownup bottle.  (The Cuties is about all the cute shit I can handle)  Your Absolut can use a growth spurt as well.

Lastly, I’m glad to see you eat meat.  Though nothing is universal, red meat and rogering often go hand-in-hand.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 6
This is a fridge that can keep a guy around, whether it’s for dinner, drinks or breakfast come morning.  As I often say when it comes to GNDs, your many amigos have probably advised you that it’s not the best strategy to shag on the first date, partly out of protection, partly due to wisdom.

The 2nd date…the world is your oyster.

Marriage: 8
I like that you splurge at Gelson’s when needed and save your scheckles at Trader Joe’s when you can.  That shows a nice balance and life is a balancing act.

In addition, you’re active, healthy, clean, fun, drink beer, eat meat and give a shit about more than yourself.  To me, that spells winner.

Boil Your Bunny: 2
You haven’t set off any of my Bunny Boiler motion detectors.  Your fridge is neat and organized enough to have your shit together, while not too anal that you’re obsessing.

The fact that you insinuated you need help in the first place bumps you up a couple of points, as you might have a tendency to over-think things, but I do see calm waters ahead.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Post #36


  Stonehill,
  
  Help! This is my fridge. What do you think?
  
  -Sarah


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Sarah,

Something important to see in a potential partner is that they have friends of the opposite sex.  Even though When Harry Met Sally was my one of my fave flicks of all time, men and women should be friends.  (As long as one doesn’t want to shag the other’s brains out)

I’ve met those who didn’t have friends of the opposite sex and it was always a red flag.

I say this as it’s obvious that you have a stash of guy friends.  Why?  Cause I can’t imagine the PBR, IPA, hot sauce and Big 3 BBQ condiments (Mayo, Mustard and Ketchup) are all for your girls when they come over to watch reruns of Sex and the City.

Now, we all have to believe in something.   I believe in Stereotypes.  No offense to God, the constitution or the iPhone.  The world is just too damn complicated and stereotypes can make the chaos a bit less chaotic.

When it comes to women, no stereotype reveals more about a woman than ‘The Girl Next Door’.  We all have that image pop into our mind.  Whether it’s Amy Adams, Winnie Cooper, or that chick from Father of the Bride, what’s so special about this girl is no matter how butt-ugly a guy is, he feels like he has shot with her.

And that is special.  That says something about they type of person The GND is.  Cute, but not hot.   Bright, but you can actually understand what she’s saying.   Charming, yet humble.  Talented, yet still a team player.  And possesses confidence, yet has a healthy dose of vulnerability.

If a guy is not a total douche, this is a girl he roots for.  This is the first girl we fell in love as boys.  Yet, takes us the longest to appreciate as men.

And this is a GND fridge.  As I listed above, you have plenty of supplies to make a guy feel at home.  Yet there’s a wholesome side to you as well.  All 4 food groups are represented, and though you have food and drink to have fun, you also eat healthy.

You have an impressive lineup of fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, hummus and you even have Cuties, which fall under the ‘cute’ food category.

Healthy is vital when it comes to dating.  You often hear  ‘check out her mom to see what she’ll look like in 20 years.’  I say check out her fridge.

On the wholesome front, you’re looking out for the environment.   You have a Brita, so you’re not chucking plastic and you’re buying organic, thus a pal of Mother Earth.

On the dating front, it’s important to be prepared and you are.   If we’re hosting a date, we need drinks on standby and bing, you got Grey Goose and Absolut in your freezer.

I also like that you’re about brunch, which is a nice Continuation Date if a dude stays over.  You got bagels, cream cheese and lox, plus Coffeemate, which tells me you brew your own coffee.

Now, on the help front, you don’t need much, but it is time to move beyond the mini bottles.  Though I love that you have champagne, you’re a grownup so step up to a grownup bottle.  (The Cuties is about all the cute shit I can handle)  Your Absolut can use a growth spurt as well.

Lastly, I’m glad to see you eat meat.  Though nothing is universal, red meat and rogering often go hand-in-hand.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 6
This is a fridge that can keep a guy around, whether it’s for dinner, drinks or breakfast come morning.  As I often say when it comes to GNDs, your many amigos have probably advised you that it’s not the best strategy to shag on the first date, partly out of protection, partly due to wisdom.

The 2nd date…the world is your oyster.

Marriage: 8
I like that you splurge at Gelson’s when needed and save your scheckles at Trader Joe’s when you can.  That shows a nice balance and life is a balancing act.

In addition, you’re active, healthy, clean, fun, drink beer, eat meat and give a shit about more than yourself.  To me, that spells winner.

Boil Your Bunny: 2
You haven’t set off any of my Bunny Boiler motion detectors.  Your fridge is neat and organized enough to have your shit together, while not too anal that you’re obsessing.

The fact that you insinuated you need help in the first place bumps you up a couple of points, as you might have a tendency to over-think things, but I do see calm waters ahead.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Post #36

Stonehill,

Help! This is my fridge. What do you think?

-Sarah

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Sarah,

Something important to see in a potential partner is that they have friends of the opposite sex. Even though When Harry Met Sally was my one of my fave flicks of all time, men and women should be friends. (As long as one doesn’t want to shag the other’s brains out)

I’ve met those who didn’t have friends of the opposite sex and it was always a red flag.

I say this as it’s obvious that you have a stash of guy friends. Why? Cause I can’t imagine the PBR, IPA, hot sauce and Big 3 BBQ condiments (Mayo, Mustard and Ketchup) are all for your girls when they come over to watch reruns of Sex and the City.

Now, we all have to believe in something. I believe in Stereotypes. No offense to God, the constitution or the iPhone. The world is just too damn complicated and stereotypes can make the chaos a bit less chaotic.

When it comes to women, no stereotype reveals more about a woman than ‘The Girl Next Door’. We all have that image pop into our mind. Whether it’s Amy Adams, Winnie Cooper, or that chick from Father of the Bride, what’s so special about this girl is no matter how butt-ugly a guy is, he feels like he has shot with her.

And that is special. That says something about they type of person The GND is. Cute, but not hot. Bright, but you can actually understand what she’s saying. Charming, yet humble. Talented, yet still a team player. And possesses confidence, yet has a healthy dose of vulnerability.

If a guy is not a total douche, this is a girl he roots for. This is the first girl we fell in love as boys. Yet, takes us the longest to appreciate as men.

And this is a GND fridge. As I listed above, you have plenty of supplies to make a guy feel at home. Yet there’s a wholesome side to you as well. All 4 food groups are represented, and though you have food and drink to have fun, you also eat healthy.

You have an impressive lineup of fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, hummus and you even have Cuties, which fall under the ‘cute’ food category.

Healthy is vital when it comes to dating. You often hear ‘check out her mom to see what she’ll look like in 20 years.’ I say check out her fridge.

On the wholesome front, you’re looking out for the environment. You have a Brita, so you’re not chucking plastic and you’re buying organic, thus a pal of Mother Earth.

On the dating front, it’s important to be prepared and you are. If we’re hosting a date, we need drinks on standby and bing, you got Grey Goose and Absolut in your freezer.

I also like that you’re about brunch, which is a nice Continuation Date if a dude stays over. You got bagels, cream cheese and lox, plus Coffeemate, which tells me you brew your own coffee.

Now, on the help front, you don’t need much, but it is time to move beyond the mini bottles. Though I love that you have champagne, you’re a grownup so step up to a grownup bottle. (The Cuties is about all the cute shit I can handle) Your Absolut can use a growth spurt as well.

Lastly, I’m glad to see you eat meat. Though nothing is universal, red meat and rogering often go hand-in-hand.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 6
This is a fridge that can keep a guy around, whether it’s for dinner, drinks or breakfast come morning. As I often say when it comes to GNDs, your many amigos have probably advised you that it’s not the best strategy to shag on the first date, partly out of protection, partly due to wisdom.

The 2nd date…the world is your oyster.

Marriage: 8
I like that you splurge at Gelson’s when needed and save your scheckles at Trader Joe’s when you can. That shows a nice balance and life is a balancing act.

In addition, you’re active, healthy, clean, fun, drink beer, eat meat and give a shit about more than yourself. To me, that spells winner.

Boil Your Bunny: 2
You haven’t set off any of my Bunny Boiler motion detectors. Your fridge is neat and organized enough to have your shit together, while not too anal that you’re obsessing.

The fact that you insinuated you need help in the first place bumps you up a couple of points, as you might have a tendency to over-think things, but I do see calm waters ahead.

6Medium, Mustbang, Female, Love, Dating, Relationships, Advice,

Fridge Post #34

Stonehill,

3rd date tonight, she’s cooking so I snagged a fridge pic. This girl is super sexy and really cool so far, but does the fridge say anything sketchy?

Love the blog man, thanks.

-Rob

Stonehill Analysis

Rob,

Life can feel like a beauty pageant. We’re constantly judged from looks to talent, and by the time it’s over, we feel like the wrong ones get crowned.

So today, just for fun, we’re going to host the first Miss Fridge Pageant.

(Cue Tony Danza and David Hasselhoff singing a cheesy duet)

We’ll judge your date’s fridge across multiple categories, and see if this girl matches your description.

Lifestyle and Fitness

There’s a pageant formula that dates back to its infancy: healthy diet + exercise – junk food = one luscious lady.

In this fridge, that’s exactly what I see….
• It’s like a veggie party, with peppers, broccoli, carrots, lettuce, tomatoes and zucchini all invited.
• She has a reusable water bottle to fuel workouts on the go, and Red Bull for when she needs that extra boost while jumping out of planes.
• She watches calories when she can, backed up by her skim milk, cranberry juice, Good mayo and pure maple syrup (vs. corn syrup substitutes).
• Yes, she has a Costco-size stash of alcohol, but I assume most is for hosting, which we’ll judge next round.
• Her fridge itself is a looker. I can’t tell the brand from this pic, but with the deep wide shelves, quality interior and turbo ice-maker, this model is a beauty.

Personality

This contestant is a born host. If she had any more beer in her fridge, I’d be afraid we’re dealing with Heidi Fleiss ;).

With this many beer brands, she’s clearly catering to other people’s tastes. And from what I can see of her wine and champers line up, it’s a murders row, with Venge Syrah as the starting pitcher and Veuve Cliquot batting cleanup.

This is a girl who knows how to celebrate, a great quality. To round out her chilled bar, she has Uncle Val’s gin, with enough mixers and lemons to ensure her guests are Ubering home happy.

She also eats meat, which shows she’s not all about counting calories, and along with her condiments, she’s probably a Girl Next Door and a caliente-keeper.

Philanthropy

I’m sure she cares about World Peace (who doesn’t?), but this contestant’s philanthropic cause is the environment. She has a reusable water bottle for on the go and clearly has a water source at home to avoid chucking plastic.

She’s using real maple syrup, over a corn syrup alternative, plus she supports products such as Good Mayo, which uses hemp, is very sustainable and is beneficial to the environment.

On Stage Question

Stonehill: I can see you like to host a party. Are you okay without the crowd and attention, and appreciate quality time one-on-one?

Fridge: Great question, Stonehill. Yes, I love to host my friends and as I’m single now, my friends are my life.

Whether with friends or a boyfriend, I do love quiet time. I never drift from my friends though. When I see a friend disappear for a relationship, it’s a bad sign.

I like to bring my bo into my group of friends, yet I want him to feel special. The Martini Rossi is for a party, the Vueve is for us.

(Standing ovation from the crowd. Mary Hart is swooning. Trump just fainted)

Talent

Though she has several talents, one that sticks out is her ability to make a killer brunch on the weekends.

From steak & eggs to real maple syrup, Mimosas to Bloody Mary’s, fresh brewed coffee to OJ, breakfast in bed with this girl is as good as it gets. Throw in the Sunday paper and her in your boxers, and I see no reason to leave.

So that’s the end of our competition. The judges are adding up the scorecards. Price Waterhouse Coopers is certifying the results.

And the winner is…you! (And her, of course ☺) Cause we’re crowning her Miss Fridge!

This girl clearly worth getting to know better, which is why we date in the first place. She might not be your future wife, but you’re lucky to date her either way.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Sex on first date: 8.5
With all you can drink beer, wine and champers, you’re riding shotgun on the Saucy Town Express. An obstacle can be a partygoer who won’t leave or she’s playing host past your bedtime, but her fridge is not this sexy by accident.

Marry: 7
She’s got many qualities in a potential partner, from beauty and fun, to generosity and intelligence. When I see fridges like this, I often think the sky is the limit, but a red flag is once she settles down, can she let the party pad go.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
Her fridge is neat and organized, a good sign she has her shit together. With that much beer and wine, if they were all one brand, I’d be concerned she’s obsessive, but I’m glad to see variety.

Now, a shitload of alcohol can cloud our judgment. Plus, that much Red Bull can keep her up from now through Christmas. Though her score is low, we have to bump her a smidge on the BYB scale.

6Medium, Female, Mustbang, Love, Dating, Date, Advice,

Fridge Post #33


  I sat down with Alytude Blogger Aly Walansky (alittlealytude.com) to discuss dating and her fridge.
  
  Here’s a link to 8 Things You Can Learn About Your Date By Looking in Their Fridge on the dating site HowAboutWe: http://tinyurl.com/kx5va5t
  
  Here are the highlights of what Aly’s fridge says about her dating prospects, which can also be seen here with Aly commentary: http://tinyurl.com/pumhgac


Stonehill Analysis

I’ve never seen this much milk outside a pediatric unit, but we’ll get into that shortly.

Overall, I like what I see.  Aly is healthy, though she’s not obsessive about it.  I dig a balance and Aly’s got it.

Her big-ass jug of Naked Green Machine is perfect to fuel those workouts, water for on the go and confections to enjoy along the way.

She has Chobani to support a healthy diet, Coke Zero to limit calories where she can and veggie burgers to keep her on the slim side of town.

And if our gym teacher taught us one thing, it’s this: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.

I also can see Aly is a working professional.  I have to assume one of those milks is for coffee to keep her sharp and on the go.   (And I’m glad to see neither is whole milk, a major red flag)

Sticking to the work front, Aly seems financially sound.  If she was on a super tight budget, she wouldn’t buy only name brands over generic or expensive high-end items such as Naked and ChristinEats.

She’s not flying first class yet, as her fridge is flying coach, but she’s clearly moving up.   Most guys aren’t going out of their way to find a rich girl, but they do like to know a girl is comfortable and self-sufficient, as well as a woman who is building a career. (Go Aly :)

Aly is ready to make a meal when needed, but with her arsenal of condiments, she’s more about restaurants and takeout.    When single, it’s vital to put yourself out there.  Though it’s key to think positive, George Clooney dressed as the UPS Man won’t be banging down your door any time soon.

Here are a few other fridge items that stick out to me…

Aly drinks.  I love a girl who can enjoy a glass of wine after work and Aly is prepared. There are no universal rights and wrongs when it comes to dating, just what’s right and wrong for us.

As the majority of dating, at least for the first few months, revolves around eating and drinking, I wouldn’t be a great match with a woman who’s sober.  Now, I’m not saying a party girl is a plus, either.

It’s about finding a balance, like all aspects of life.  If you drink and don’t enjoy drinking alone, it’s just something to consider as you look for the right partner.

Aly eats meat.  As I like to stress, nothing is black and white, but I do find a correlation between one’s love of banging and one’s love of beef.  Yes, many Vegans love to shag, too.

It’s just that food is one of the joys of life and if one denies themselves the joy of food, they tend to be deny themselves in other aspects of life as well.

Aly is a Girl Next Door.  Though it takes us longer to appreciate, men love the girl next door.  Yes, Veronica might be hot, but she’s a spoiled pain in the ass.  Betty is for keeps.

A GND, can enjoy a beer and a burger.  She can appreciate the finer things in life as well as hot wings while watching the game.   Aly’s fridge has Negro Modelo, one of the best beers out of Mexico and the condiments perfect for grilling, wings and more.  Plus, she’s got wine and luxe items that ladies love.

Aly’s Fridge is a bit frazzled.  Where Aly can use a little work is in her fridge organization.  Lets be frank: it’s a bit of a shit show.   Some food item is not happy in that tinfoil.

Tupperware doesn’t need to live inside bigger Tupperware.  Her freezer shouldn’t be a competition of who can get out first.

By no means does this fridge tell me she’s wackypack.  But it could clearly use some TLC.  A tad of chaos in your fridge usually means a tad of chaos in your life.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 7
Aly’s got the wine, beer and munchies needed to loosen up at home and grease the rails to Saucy Town.

Aly does have a touch of the Girl Next Door though, and with that many guy friends in her life, she’s probably been advised to hold off on banging til at least the 2nd date.

Marry: 7
I see a well-rounded woman here, which most of us look for in a partner.  She eats meat, but she’s also healthy.  She drinks, but she’s not a basket case.  She works and is building a career, yet finds time to smell the roses along the way.   This is a woman I’d be happy to set up my buddies with.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3.5
I don’t see anything in this fridge that screams obsessive.  Her fridge can use a good cleaning and her lack of organization probably means she’s a bit frazzled in life.

By no means would I lock up your pets around her, but her lack of cleanliness does bump her up the BYB scale a bit.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Post #33


  I sat down with Alytude Blogger Aly Walansky (alittlealytude.com) to discuss dating and her fridge.
  
  Here’s a link to 8 Things You Can Learn About Your Date By Looking in Their Fridge on the dating site HowAboutWe: http://tinyurl.com/kx5va5t
  
  Here are the highlights of what Aly’s fridge says about her dating prospects, which can also be seen here with Aly commentary: http://tinyurl.com/pumhgac


Stonehill Analysis

I’ve never seen this much milk outside a pediatric unit, but we’ll get into that shortly.

Overall, I like what I see.  Aly is healthy, though she’s not obsessive about it.  I dig a balance and Aly’s got it.

Her big-ass jug of Naked Green Machine is perfect to fuel those workouts, water for on the go and confections to enjoy along the way.

She has Chobani to support a healthy diet, Coke Zero to limit calories where she can and veggie burgers to keep her on the slim side of town.

And if our gym teacher taught us one thing, it’s this: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.

I also can see Aly is a working professional.  I have to assume one of those milks is for coffee to keep her sharp and on the go.   (And I’m glad to see neither is whole milk, a major red flag)

Sticking to the work front, Aly seems financially sound.  If she was on a super tight budget, she wouldn’t buy only name brands over generic or expensive high-end items such as Naked and ChristinEats.

She’s not flying first class yet, as her fridge is flying coach, but she’s clearly moving up.   Most guys aren’t going out of their way to find a rich girl, but they do like to know a girl is comfortable and self-sufficient, as well as a woman who is building a career. (Go Aly :)

Aly is ready to make a meal when needed, but with her arsenal of condiments, she’s more about restaurants and takeout.    When single, it’s vital to put yourself out there.  Though it’s key to think positive, George Clooney dressed as the UPS Man won’t be banging down your door any time soon.

Here are a few other fridge items that stick out to me…

Aly drinks.  I love a girl who can enjoy a glass of wine after work and Aly is prepared. There are no universal rights and wrongs when it comes to dating, just what’s right and wrong for us.

As the majority of dating, at least for the first few months, revolves around eating and drinking, I wouldn’t be a great match with a woman who’s sober.  Now, I’m not saying a party girl is a plus, either.

It’s about finding a balance, like all aspects of life.  If you drink and don’t enjoy drinking alone, it’s just something to consider as you look for the right partner.

Aly eats meat.  As I like to stress, nothing is black and white, but I do find a correlation between one’s love of banging and one’s love of beef.  Yes, many Vegans love to shag, too.

It’s just that food is one of the joys of life and if one denies themselves the joy of food, they tend to be deny themselves in other aspects of life as well.

Aly is a Girl Next Door.  Though it takes us longer to appreciate, men love the girl next door.  Yes, Veronica might be hot, but she’s a spoiled pain in the ass.  Betty is for keeps.

A GND, can enjoy a beer and a burger.  She can appreciate the finer things in life as well as hot wings while watching the game.   Aly’s fridge has Negro Modelo, one of the best beers out of Mexico and the condiments perfect for grilling, wings and more.  Plus, she’s got wine and luxe items that ladies love.

Aly’s Fridge is a bit frazzled.  Where Aly can use a little work is in her fridge organization.  Lets be frank: it’s a bit of a shit show.   Some food item is not happy in that tinfoil.

Tupperware doesn’t need to live inside bigger Tupperware.  Her freezer shouldn’t be a competition of who can get out first.

By no means does this fridge tell me she’s wackypack.  But it could clearly use some TLC.  A tad of chaos in your fridge usually means a tad of chaos in your life.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 7
Aly’s got the wine, beer and munchies needed to loosen up at home and grease the rails to Saucy Town.

Aly does have a touch of the Girl Next Door though, and with that many guy friends in her life, she’s probably been advised to hold off on banging til at least the 2nd date.

Marry: 7
I see a well-rounded woman here, which most of us look for in a partner.  She eats meat, but she’s also healthy.  She drinks, but she’s not a basket case.  She works and is building a career, yet finds time to smell the roses along the way.   This is a woman I’d be happy to set up my buddies with.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3.5
I don’t see anything in this fridge that screams obsessive.  Her fridge can use a good cleaning and her lack of organization probably means she’s a bit frazzled in life.

By no means would I lock up your pets around her, but her lack of cleanliness does bump her up the BYB scale a bit.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Post #33


  I sat down with Alytude Blogger Aly Walansky (alittlealytude.com) to discuss dating and her fridge.
  
  Here’s a link to 8 Things You Can Learn About Your Date By Looking in Their Fridge on the dating site HowAboutWe: http://tinyurl.com/kx5va5t
  
  Here are the highlights of what Aly’s fridge says about her dating prospects, which can also be seen here with Aly commentary: http://tinyurl.com/pumhgac


Stonehill Analysis

I’ve never seen this much milk outside a pediatric unit, but we’ll get into that shortly.

Overall, I like what I see.  Aly is healthy, though she’s not obsessive about it.  I dig a balance and Aly’s got it.

Her big-ass jug of Naked Green Machine is perfect to fuel those workouts, water for on the go and confections to enjoy along the way.

She has Chobani to support a healthy diet, Coke Zero to limit calories where she can and veggie burgers to keep her on the slim side of town.

And if our gym teacher taught us one thing, it’s this: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.

I also can see Aly is a working professional.  I have to assume one of those milks is for coffee to keep her sharp and on the go.   (And I’m glad to see neither is whole milk, a major red flag)

Sticking to the work front, Aly seems financially sound.  If she was on a super tight budget, she wouldn’t buy only name brands over generic or expensive high-end items such as Naked and ChristinEats.

She’s not flying first class yet, as her fridge is flying coach, but she’s clearly moving up.   Most guys aren’t going out of their way to find a rich girl, but they do like to know a girl is comfortable and self-sufficient, as well as a woman who is building a career. (Go Aly :)

Aly is ready to make a meal when needed, but with her arsenal of condiments, she’s more about restaurants and takeout.    When single, it’s vital to put yourself out there.  Though it’s key to think positive, George Clooney dressed as the UPS Man won’t be banging down your door any time soon.

Here are a few other fridge items that stick out to me…

Aly drinks.  I love a girl who can enjoy a glass of wine after work and Aly is prepared. There are no universal rights and wrongs when it comes to dating, just what’s right and wrong for us.

As the majority of dating, at least for the first few months, revolves around eating and drinking, I wouldn’t be a great match with a woman who’s sober.  Now, I’m not saying a party girl is a plus, either.

It’s about finding a balance, like all aspects of life.  If you drink and don’t enjoy drinking alone, it’s just something to consider as you look for the right partner.

Aly eats meat.  As I like to stress, nothing is black and white, but I do find a correlation between one’s love of banging and one’s love of beef.  Yes, many Vegans love to shag, too.

It’s just that food is one of the joys of life and if one denies themselves the joy of food, they tend to be deny themselves in other aspects of life as well.

Aly is a Girl Next Door.  Though it takes us longer to appreciate, men love the girl next door.  Yes, Veronica might be hot, but she’s a spoiled pain in the ass.  Betty is for keeps.

A GND, can enjoy a beer and a burger.  She can appreciate the finer things in life as well as hot wings while watching the game.   Aly’s fridge has Negro Modelo, one of the best beers out of Mexico and the condiments perfect for grilling, wings and more.  Plus, she’s got wine and luxe items that ladies love.

Aly’s Fridge is a bit frazzled.  Where Aly can use a little work is in her fridge organization.  Lets be frank: it’s a bit of a shit show.   Some food item is not happy in that tinfoil.

Tupperware doesn’t need to live inside bigger Tupperware.  Her freezer shouldn’t be a competition of who can get out first.

By no means does this fridge tell me she’s wackypack.  But it could clearly use some TLC.  A tad of chaos in your fridge usually means a tad of chaos in your life.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 7
Aly’s got the wine, beer and munchies needed to loosen up at home and grease the rails to Saucy Town.

Aly does have a touch of the Girl Next Door though, and with that many guy friends in her life, she’s probably been advised to hold off on banging til at least the 2nd date.

Marry: 7
I see a well-rounded woman here, which most of us look for in a partner.  She eats meat, but she’s also healthy.  She drinks, but she’s not a basket case.  She works and is building a career, yet finds time to smell the roses along the way.   This is a woman I’d be happy to set up my buddies with.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3.5
I don’t see anything in this fridge that screams obsessive.  Her fridge can use a good cleaning and her lack of organization probably means she’s a bit frazzled in life.

By no means would I lock up your pets around her, but her lack of cleanliness does bump her up the BYB scale a bit.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Post #33

I sat down with Alytude Blogger Aly Walansky (alittlealytude.com) to discuss dating and her fridge.

Here’s a link to 8 Things You Can Learn About Your Date By Looking in Their Fridge on the dating site HowAboutWe: http://tinyurl.com/kx5va5t

Here are the highlights of what Aly’s fridge says about her dating prospects, which can also be seen here with Aly commentary: http://tinyurl.com/pumhgac

Stonehill Analysis

I’ve never seen this much milk outside a pediatric unit, but we’ll get into that shortly.

Overall, I like what I see. Aly is healthy, though she’s not obsessive about it. I dig a balance and Aly’s got it.

Her big-ass jug of Naked Green Machine is perfect to fuel those workouts, water for on the go and confections to enjoy along the way.

She has Chobani to support a healthy diet, Coke Zero to limit calories where she can and veggie burgers to keep her on the slim side of town.

And if our gym teacher taught us one thing, it’s this: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.

I also can see Aly is a working professional. I have to assume one of those milks is for coffee to keep her sharp and on the go. (And I’m glad to see neither is whole milk, a major red flag)

Sticking to the work front, Aly seems financially sound. If she was on a super tight budget, she wouldn’t buy only name brands over generic or expensive high-end items such as Naked and ChristinEats.

She’s not flying first class yet, as her fridge is flying coach, but she’s clearly moving up. Most guys aren’t going out of their way to find a rich girl, but they do like to know a girl is comfortable and self-sufficient, as well as a woman who is building a career. (Go Aly :)

Aly is ready to make a meal when needed, but with her arsenal of condiments, she’s more about restaurants and takeout. When single, it’s vital to put yourself out there. Though it’s key to think positive, George Clooney dressed as the UPS Man won’t be banging down your door any time soon.

Here are a few other fridge items that stick out to me…

Aly drinks. I love a girl who can enjoy a glass of wine after work and Aly is prepared. There are no universal rights and wrongs when it comes to dating, just what’s right and wrong for us.

As the majority of dating, at least for the first few months, revolves around eating and drinking, I wouldn’t be a great match with a woman who’s sober. Now, I’m not saying a party girl is a plus, either.

It’s about finding a balance, like all aspects of life. If you drink and don’t enjoy drinking alone, it’s just something to consider as you look for the right partner.

Aly eats meat. As I like to stress, nothing is black and white, but I do find a correlation between one’s love of banging and one’s love of beef. Yes, many Vegans love to shag, too.

It’s just that food is one of the joys of life and if one denies themselves the joy of food, they tend to be deny themselves in other aspects of life as well.

Aly is a Girl Next Door. Though it takes us longer to appreciate, men love the girl next door. Yes, Veronica might be hot, but she’s a spoiled pain in the ass. Betty is for keeps.

A GND, can enjoy a beer and a burger. She can appreciate the finer things in life as well as hot wings while watching the game. Aly’s fridge has Negro Modelo, one of the best beers out of Mexico and the condiments perfect for grilling, wings and more. Plus, she’s got wine and luxe items that ladies love.

Aly’s Fridge is a bit frazzled. Where Aly can use a little work is in her fridge organization. Lets be frank: it’s a bit of a shit show. Some food item is not happy in that tinfoil.

Tupperware doesn’t need to live inside bigger Tupperware. Her freezer shouldn’t be a competition of who can get out first.

By no means does this fridge tell me she’s wackypack. But it could clearly use some TLC. A tad of chaos in your fridge usually means a tad of chaos in your life.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 7
Aly’s got the wine, beer and munchies needed to loosen up at home and grease the rails to Saucy Town.

Aly does have a touch of the Girl Next Door though, and with that many guy friends in her life, she’s probably been advised to hold off on banging til at least the 2nd date.

Marry: 7
I see a well-rounded woman here, which most of us look for in a partner. She eats meat, but she’s also healthy. She drinks, but she’s not a basket case. She works and is building a career, yet finds time to smell the roses along the way. This is a woman I’d be happy to set up my buddies with.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3.5
I don’t see anything in this fridge that screams obsessive. Her fridge can use a good cleaning and her lack of organization probably means she’s a bit frazzled in life.

By no means would I lock up your pets around her, but her lack of cleanliness does bump her up the BYB scale a bit.

6Medium, Female, Mustbang,

Fridge Post #30


  Stonehill,
  
  So this is my fridge…
  
  What do you think? Is this the fridge of a woman who is ready for commitment?
  
  Love,
  
  -Dani


Dani,

Not only are you the 30th Fridge post, but you have officially broken the record…for having the most shit per square inch for a childless single person!

(Bells, Whistles, Balloon drop)

What’s also exciting is that with congress finally coming together, its members, inspired by their newfound abilities, asked if they can help you (and other single voting age Americans) by analyzing your fridge today.

So I’m hitting here with Senator Ted Cruz, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Congressman Paul Ryan, Senator John McCain and special guest First Lady Michelle Obama.

(Polite Applause)

Stonehill
I’m going to kick things off with your question Dani and say that not only do you have serious partner potential, but you’re ready for Tie-The-Knot Town.

You have one of the most domesticated fridges I’ve ever seen.  Now, it is a bit of a shit-show, but you have the ingredients of a varsity homemaker.   There might be more nourishment in your fridge than a small African country.

Paul Ryan
I voted to increase aid to Africa by over 3% last year.

Stonehill
Thank you, Paul.  Now, One thing that sticks out to me Dani is you shop at Costco and buy in bulk.  I see a woman at the beginning phase of her career, a time when you have to pay your dues and you’re living on a budget.

You’ll need a partner who is in a similar place in his career, or at least understand that you’re not fully in control of your work schedule yet.

Nancy
It’s so great to see women thriving in the workplace.  And with my support of the Paycheck Fairness Act, Dani, you’ll earn the same as your male counterparts.  Though he should pick up the bill on your first date.

Paul
If she earns the same, why should he pick up the first date?

Stonehill
Guys, lets stick to Dani’s fridge.

McCain
You know what sticks out to me, my friends?  The meat.  I wouldn’t trust a lady who didn’t eat meat.  Before I got married, to Cindy, not that first bitch, I took out my buddy’s secretary to Mastro’s, which was founded in Scottsdale, and she turned out to be ‘vegan’.  Most frigid chick I ever banged.

Stonehill
I agree with the Senator.  I do find a direct ratio between a woman’s love for beef and bedlam.

I also have to assume Dani that you’re in great shape.  If you stopped buying V8, the stock would plummet.   Your Naked Juices, fruits and veggies support a healthy lifestyle, and your Red Bull, Starbucks and protein shakes keep you on the go.  I see this adding up to one bodacious body.

Michelle Obama
I agree, Stonehill.  Health and nutrition are so important.  We have an epidemic of obesity in this country and we need our young Americans to be healthy and active like Dani.

Stonehill
Now, moving down to the lower part of the fridge, what sticks out is you have at least 3 beer brands.  I see an element of the Girl Next Door, one of my fave types of ladies.  You’re ready to host your male buddies for the game, while you have wine for your amigas.

It’s important that a partner can get along with men and women.  The times I’ve seen women not get along with other women, they turned out to be serious clambakes.

Ted Cruz
I once had a clambake.  When I was attending Princeton, but that’s not my point.  My point I’d like to make is I see too much alcohol for a single woman.  When I studied at Harvard, I read about a flower in Madagascar called the Tropical Pitcher Plant, AKA The Monkey Cup.  It sucks in flies with sweet nectar and like Obomacare, no one escapes.  The flower then digests the flies.  Your fridge is like the Monkey Cup.  It sucks in men with the sweetness it offers and they can’t escape.  I’d steer my boys well clear of you.

Stonehill
O-kay.  I’d like to finish off by saying I see a fun side to Dani.  She’s got Whip cream: the noise, the spray, whether for dessert or to make some bad decisions, it’s a fun product.  And she’s got Babybells, they’re cute, tells me there’s something cute about her.

Overall, I see a catch here and a woman ready to pull the trigger.  All in favor?

Pelosi, McCain, Obama
Aye.

Stonehill
Against?

Cruz and Ryan
Neah.

(Gavel bangs)

Stonehill
Dani, the ayes have it.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 6
As an up and coming career woman, you don’t have time to play games.  If you’re into a guy, I don’t see you holding off too long, but as a Girl Next Door, you’re around enough men to know it’s probably best to wait til the 2nd date.

Marry: 8
You’re the 1%.  When it comes to having a shitload of stuff in your fridge.  Your fridge tells me you’re nurturing with a maternal side, which is a quality many dudes are looking for.  Plus, you got a hot tush.  And who doesn’t want to marry that?

Boil your Bunny: 4
I’d bet you’re not the bunny boiling type, but with a fridge this messy, and this much meat, I have to call it like I see it and bump you up a few points.
ZoomInfo
Camera
Samsung SPH-L710
ISO
80
Aperture
f/2.6
Exposure
1/19th
Focal Length
3mm

Fridge Post #30

Stonehill,

So this is my fridge…

What do you think? Is this the fridge of a woman who is ready for commitment?

Love,

-Dani

Dani,

Not only are you the 30th Fridge post, but you have officially broken the record…for having the most shit per square inch for a childless single person!

(Bells, Whistles, Balloon drop)

What’s also exciting is that with congress finally coming together, its members, inspired by their newfound abilities, asked if they can help you (and other single voting age Americans) by analyzing your fridge today.

So I’m hitting here with Senator Ted Cruz, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Congressman Paul Ryan, Senator John McCain and special guest First Lady Michelle Obama.

(Polite Applause)

Stonehill
I’m going to kick things off with your question Dani and say that not only do you have serious partner potential, but you’re ready for Tie-The-Knot Town.

You have one of the most domesticated fridges I’ve ever seen. Now, it is a bit of a shit-show, but you have the ingredients of a varsity homemaker. There might be more nourishment in your fridge than a small African country.

Paul Ryan
I voted to increase aid to Africa by over 3% last year.

Stonehill
Thank you, Paul. Now, One thing that sticks out to me Dani is you shop at Costco and buy in bulk. I see a woman at the beginning phase of her career, a time when you have to pay your dues and you’re living on a budget.

You’ll need a partner who is in a similar place in his career, or at least understand that you’re not fully in control of your work schedule yet.

Nancy
It’s so great to see women thriving in the workplace. And with my support of the Paycheck Fairness Act, Dani, you’ll earn the same as your male counterparts. Though he should pick up the bill on your first date.

Paul
If she earns the same, why should he pick up the first date?

Stonehill
Guys, lets stick to Dani’s fridge.

McCain
You know what sticks out to me, my friends? The meat. I wouldn’t trust a lady who didn’t eat meat. Before I got married, to Cindy, not that first bitch, I took out my buddy’s secretary to Mastro’s, which was founded in Scottsdale, and she turned out to be ‘vegan’. Most frigid chick I ever banged.

Stonehill
I agree with the Senator. I do find a direct ratio between a woman’s love for beef and bedlam.

I also have to assume Dani that you’re in great shape. If you stopped buying V8, the stock would plummet. Your Naked Juices, fruits and veggies support a healthy lifestyle, and your Red Bull, Starbucks and protein shakes keep you on the go. I see this adding up to one bodacious body.

Michelle Obama
I agree, Stonehill. Health and nutrition are so important. We have an epidemic of obesity in this country and we need our young Americans to be healthy and active like Dani.

Stonehill
Now, moving down to the lower part of the fridge, what sticks out is you have at least 3 beer brands. I see an element of the Girl Next Door, one of my fave types of ladies. You’re ready to host your male buddies for the game, while you have wine for your amigas.

It’s important that a partner can get along with men and women. The times I’ve seen women not get along with other women, they turned out to be serious clambakes.

Ted Cruz
I once had a clambake. When I was attending Princeton, but that’s not my point. My point I’d like to make is I see too much alcohol for a single woman. When I studied at Harvard, I read about a flower in Madagascar called the Tropical Pitcher Plant, AKA The Monkey Cup. It sucks in flies with sweet nectar and like Obomacare, no one escapes. The flower then digests the flies. Your fridge is like the Monkey Cup. It sucks in men with the sweetness it offers and they can’t escape. I’d steer my boys well clear of you.

Stonehill
O-kay. I’d like to finish off by saying I see a fun side to Dani. She’s got Whip cream: the noise, the spray, whether for dessert or to make some bad decisions, it’s a fun product. And she’s got Babybells, they’re cute, tells me there’s something cute about her.

Overall, I see a catch here and a woman ready to pull the trigger. All in favor?

Pelosi, McCain, Obama
Aye.

Stonehill
Against?

Cruz and Ryan
Neah.

(Gavel bangs)

Stonehill
Dani, the ayes have it.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 6
As an up and coming career woman, you don’t have time to play games. If you’re into a guy, I don’t see you holding off too long, but as a Girl Next Door, you’re around enough men to know it’s probably best to wait til the 2nd date.

Marry: 8
You’re the 1%. When it comes to having a shitload of stuff in your fridge. Your fridge tells me you’re nurturing with a maternal side, which is a quality many dudes are looking for. Plus, you got a hot tush. And who doesn’t want to marry that?

Boil your Bunny: 4
I’d bet you’re not the bunny boiling type, but with a fridge this messy, and this much meat, I have to call it like I see it and bump you up a few points.

6Medium, Mustbang, Female,

-