Fridge Post #35
I’ve been seeing Seth for a month now. He’s totally honest with me and has told me from the get-go that he’s not looking for a serious relationship right now. (He just got out of one)
I’m not interested in an ‘open’ relationship. Should I tell him to stop seeing other people?
Here’s a pic of his fridge. Does it provide any insight?
Your question was the inspiration behind yesterday’s #DateTipTuesdays post.
For starters, I give Seth credit for being up front with you. But that doesn’t mean holding onto him is more important than holding onto your standards. The fact is, for this relationship to work for you, he has to stop shagging other people.
As I touched on yesterday, I wouldn’t tell him what to do. He’s a grown man, and there’s no law against having multiple partners. But I would tell him you’d only be in a monogamous relationship.
Again, you can’t dictate his actions, but you can dictate the kind of relationship you’re in.
What I do find troubling is that you’ve dated this guy for a month after he stated that he isn’t looking for a commitment. For him to even say this, he has his own shit going on, and whatever the reason, you’re not Dr. Phil, and he’s not your patient.
So don’t pass Go, and don’t collect one last shag. Just tell him what you’re looking for and skedaddle. If he chooses monogamy, trust me, he’ll find you.
Now, when it comes to Seth’s fridge, yes, it provides insight into his dating habits, but considering what he told you, that’s secondary.
In the event that he does step up, here’s what his fridge tells us:
He’s out on the town. A lot.
This is evident by his lack of prepareable foods and weak condiment selection. He’s eating most of his meals out and not even doing much takeout. He was upfront that he was dating other people, and his fridge reinforces that.
He’s on a budget.
Some of his products are name brands (Best Foods), yet some are generic (ketchup). This tells me he’s willing to invest in what’s important to him and while scrimping on what’s not.
This pattern probably translates to his dating, such as the level of locale is dependant on his echelon of interest. Some guys have a benchmark bar, whoever the girl. Some don’t.
He has good taste in beer.
Again, if something is important to Seth, he’ll invest in it, shown by the Stella. He’s able to appreciate the finer things in life. As you’re the star of the Sandy show, one of those finer things should be you. If you’re not, better to know now and move on.
He’s a renter.
His fridge is not a model you’d find in a house or condo. He works, but hasn’t arrived in his career yet, nor is he a TFB (Trust Fund baby).
When I was younger, I felt at times I wasn’t ready to settle down because I wasn’t settled in my career. That was my way of selling myself short, and Seth might be doing the same.
In reality though, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is if he makes a suitable partner. He does have his shit together enough to keep a clean, organized fridge. So don’t make excuses for him like his schedule is out of control. It’s probably isn’t.
Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)
Sex on first date: 9
I give him a very high score for a couple of reasons…
1: He basically told you sex is all he’s looking for.
2: After telling you, you’ve stuck around for a month, so he must have game. The Stella and simple snacks are enough to keep a date there and get the job done.
Again, it’s impossible to ignore what he told you, and nothing in this fridge defies that. This is a guy who spends most of his time out and about, and much of that time is not with you. As his fridge says limited resources, he has work to do on that front as well.
Sleeping with the Enemy: 2
As his fridge is relatively neat and organized without being obsessive, I don’t see a stalker here, let alone that he told you to move on. (If you stuck to your standards) Does every man have his breaking point? Sure. But they need a dream to break in the first place.