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Check their Fridge

A Dating Guide

Prologue: Winter 1998

We’ve all been there: on a date when we get that first invitation back to their apartment. Considering I made out with Haley in the street on our last date, one thing was certain: tonight I was going to see her topless.

Factoring that in with her preppy looks, her Princeton education and her Jewish background, I guesstimated that I had a 50% chance of sex-sex and a 40% chance of something even more personal to women than sex-sex: oral sex ... Read More

WeltamSonntag 4


  I was featured in Welt AM Sonntag, the largest Sunday paper in Germany.  Working with the talented Susanne Kaloff, I broke down the fridges of 4 eligible German bachelors.
  
  Here’s part 4 of a 4 part series…


I’m not a brilliant man, but I’m pretty sure there are a few things we can all agree on:
1.  The Germans know how to make Bratwurst.
2.  Heidi Klum is hot.
3.  Never buy generic ketchup.

I’m sorry, but if you can’t afford the extra 86 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

“Good and Cheap” ketchup??  A homeless person can do better than that.  Any brand that says it’s “Good and Cheap” is usually right about only one thing: it’s cheap.  Their original slogan was “Cheap and Shit” but they weren’t moving any units, so they tried “Good” in its place.

As we all know, eating and drinking is our main dating activity.  So what’s in our fridge reveals a lot about who we are and how compatible we are with someone.

You usually get what you pay for and generic is a cheaper version of an attempt to taste like the brand.  What’s in our fridge will eventually be in us.

If someone buys everything cheap, no matter what their income is, they’re most likely not just scrimping on food, but also everything else.  And lets face it…cheap people are not sexy.  A generic or two is one thing, but across the board is a no-no.

Unfortunately, Fridge 4 is mostly going generic across the board.  Now, this guy might be just starting out in his career, or in between jobs.  Nothing is definitive from checking their fridge.  He also might be the greatest guy I never met.  It’s just from what I see on the dating front, he might not be in the best place to settle down right now.

His yogurt is generic, Prosecco low-end and though I give him kudos below for salami and cheese, he’s not buying quality brands.  Also in this pool are his wieners, paella and water.

Every brand we buy has a target demo and a media plan.  So when we see certain brands in our fridge, we get clues about us from our sex to age range, the pubs we read to the shows we watch.

Now, I don’t know what’s going on with that cabbage thingy, but it looks more at home in the movie Shrek than in this guy’s refrigerator.

When I look at this fridge, I also don’t see a guy eating very healthy.  I can’t say his belly enters the room a minute before the rest of him, but there are a few concerns.

He’s got products like Rama Culinesse.  There are health benefits to this product, none of which are to help to keep you skinny.  To his credit, it’s a sign he cooks, which is datable quality.  Plus, he does have a couple veggies in there, which is great, and mustard and balsamcio are healthy condiments.

He has 1 salad dressing and it may be light, but it’s still cream based and he’s got plenty of butter.   And the last time I saw this many wieners in one place, it was in my gym’s locker room.

Now, I can assume with the bottles of water in the fridge, he uses them to work out.  I just choose not to ;) There’s not much further evidence that exercise is high up on his to-do list.

As I’d like to end on a positive note, I do see a few here…

•   On the dating front, it’s a good move that he has a frozen entrée on standby in his freezer.

•   With both mustard and ketchup, it is a sign grills, which is a quality I like to see.

•   His fridge is not inspiring, but I give him credit for being date ready.  Salami and cheese might not be offered on the Weight Watchers menu, but they’re great shareable foods to kick off a date with.  Paired with that Prosecco, his fridge has suddenly fueled his pad to be a solid pit stop before dinner.

•   For when he does get lucky, I’m glad to see he has tools to make breakfast.  Though the last time I saw eggs that big, I was watching Jurassic Park.

I don’t know if I’d equate this fridge with the short yellow bus to school, but it’s pretty far from sexy.  As I touch on above, it just depends on where the girl is in her life.  Whether we like it or not, dating very much is about timing.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on 1st Date: 4

With the evidence in front of us, the odds are this guy is not in the best of shape.  That doesn’t mean he’s not a catch, nor does it mean he’s stuck at home alone watching YouPorn.  But it lessens the odds that he’s closing on the first date.

One special quality about women (which is strange to us men) is that they can truly fall in love with a man they’re not attracted to.  It just takes a bit longer to build this bridge.

Plus, as he’s going generic on most products, it’s by no means a deal breaker, but this, along with his not too sexy fridge, tells me he doesn’t have the financial resources to pull out the big guns on date 1.

Marriage: 3.5

A man who cooks is not an automatic keeper, but it is a good quality and I’ll bump him up a bit for it.  I also give him credit for being date ready.

My concerns are that he’s not putting his best foot forward on the health front and as I touch on above, if he’s not in shape now, the odds are he’ll look even worse when married.

As he has a starter fridge, nothing’s definite, but it raises the odds that he’s starting out in his career.  If so, he might be in a position where his career comes first.  I was the same way when I was younger.  The result though is that he’s just not in a place right now to settle down.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2.5

To this dude’s credit, I see nothing here that says stalker.  Yes, he can take better care of a few items, but his fridge is relatively clean, no chaos and he’s not hoarding.

Plus, he looks like he’s making the effort to cater to guests.  Stalkers and serial killers usually have more on their mind to focus on such things.

And lets face it: stalking can be very expensive.  This guy just doesn’t have the resources right now.
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Nikon D800
ISO
100
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f/13
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Focal Length
25mm

WeltamSonntag 4

I was featured in Welt AM Sonntag, the largest Sunday paper in Germany. Working with the talented Susanne Kaloff, I broke down the fridges of 4 eligible German bachelors.

Here’s part 4 of a 4 part series…


I’m not a brilliant man, but I’m pretty sure there are a few things we can all agree on:
1. The Germans know how to make Bratwurst.
2. Heidi Klum is hot.
3. Never buy generic ketchup.

I’m sorry, but if you can’t afford the extra 86 cents for Heinz, move back in with your parents.

“Good and Cheap” ketchup?? A homeless person can do better than that. Any brand that says it’s “Good and Cheap” is usually right about only one thing: it’s cheap. Their original slogan was “Cheap and Shit” but they weren’t moving any units, so they tried “Good” in its place.

As we all know, eating and drinking is our main dating activity. So what’s in our fridge reveals a lot about who we are and how compatible we are with someone.

You usually get what you pay for and generic is a cheaper version of an attempt to taste like the brand. What’s in our fridge will eventually be in us.

If someone buys everything cheap, no matter what their income is, they’re most likely not just scrimping on food, but also everything else. And lets face it…cheap people are not sexy. A generic or two is one thing, but across the board is a no-no.

Unfortunately, Fridge 4 is mostly going generic across the board. Now, this guy might be just starting out in his career, or in between jobs. Nothing is definitive from checking their fridge. He also might be the greatest guy I never met. It’s just from what I see on the dating front, he might not be in the best place to settle down right now.

His yogurt is generic, Prosecco low-end and though I give him kudos below for salami and cheese, he’s not buying quality brands. Also in this pool are his wieners, paella and water.

Every brand we buy has a target demo and a media plan. So when we see certain brands in our fridge, we get clues about us from our sex to age range, the pubs we read to the shows we watch.

Now, I don’t know what’s going on with that cabbage thingy, but it looks more at home in the movie Shrek than in this guy’s refrigerator.

When I look at this fridge, I also don’t see a guy eating very healthy. I can’t say his belly enters the room a minute before the rest of him, but there are a few concerns.

He’s got products like Rama Culinesse. There are health benefits to this product, none of which are to help to keep you skinny. To his credit, it’s a sign he cooks, which is datable quality. Plus, he does have a couple veggies in there, which is great, and mustard and balsamcio are healthy condiments.

He has 1 salad dressing and it may be light, but it’s still cream based and he’s got plenty of butter. And the last time I saw this many wieners in one place, it was in my gym’s locker room.

Now, I can assume with the bottles of water in the fridge, he uses them to work out. I just choose not to ;) There’s not much further evidence that exercise is high up on his to-do list.

As I’d like to end on a positive note, I do see a few here…

• On the dating front, it’s a good move that he has a frozen entrée on standby in his freezer.

• With both mustard and ketchup, it is a sign grills, which is a quality I like to see.

• His fridge is not inspiring, but I give him credit for being date ready. Salami and cheese might not be offered on the Weight Watchers menu, but they’re great shareable foods to kick off a date with. Paired with that Prosecco, his fridge has suddenly fueled his pad to be a solid pit stop before dinner.

• For when he does get lucky, I’m glad to see he has tools to make breakfast. Though the last time I saw eggs that big, I was watching Jurassic Park.

I don’t know if I’d equate this fridge with the short yellow bus to school, but it’s pretty far from sexy. As I touch on above, it just depends on where the girl is in her life. Whether we like it or not, dating very much is about timing.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on 1st Date: 4

With the evidence in front of us, the odds are this guy is not in the best of shape. That doesn’t mean he’s not a catch, nor does it mean he’s stuck at home alone watching YouPorn. But it lessens the odds that he’s closing on the first date.

One special quality about women (which is strange to us men) is that they can truly fall in love with a man they’re not attracted to. It just takes a bit longer to build this bridge.

Plus, as he’s going generic on most products, it’s by no means a deal breaker, but this, along with his not too sexy fridge, tells me he doesn’t have the financial resources to pull out the big guns on date 1.

Marriage: 3.5

A man who cooks is not an automatic keeper, but it is a good quality and I’ll bump him up a bit for it. I also give him credit for being date ready.

My concerns are that he’s not putting his best foot forward on the health front and as I touch on above, if he’s not in shape now, the odds are he’ll look even worse when married.

As he has a starter fridge, nothing’s definite, but it raises the odds that he’s starting out in his career. If so, he might be in a position where his career comes first. I was the same way when I was younger. The result though is that he’s just not in a place right now to settle down.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2.5

To this dude’s credit, I see nothing here that says stalker. Yes, he can take better care of a few items, but his fridge is relatively clean, no chaos and he’s not hoarding.

Plus, he looks like he’s making the effort to cater to guests. Stalkers and serial killers usually have more on their mind to focus on such things.

And lets face it: stalking can be very expensive. This guy just doesn’t have the resources right now.

6Medium, Male, Dating, Relationships, Love, Marriage, Advice, Insight, Humor, Funny, Quote, Food, Drink, Cocktails, Refrigerator, Germany, Welt,

WeltamSonntag 3


  I was featured in Welt AM Sonntag, the largest Sunday paper in Germany.  Working with the talented Susanne Kaloff, I broke down the fridges of 4 eligible German bachelors.
  
  Here’s part 3 of a 4 part series…


The last time I saw this much white, I was watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo Next.  (So if this dude is institutionalized, I wish him a speedy recovery, but I digress ☺)

Now, there’s a Classic formula passed down through the generations: healthy diet + exercise = 1 bodacious body.  Checking this guy’s fridge, he’s no Fabio, but life is a balance and he’s showing a balance here.

He’s got healthy fruits like bananas, oranges and apples, which is great, and he’s ready to party as well.

I mean, the man can make a White Russian.  Who doesn’t love The Big Lebowski?   All he needs is a bowling bowl and his fridge can host the next LeboskiFest.  Speaking of being a killer host, I like the fact that on top of his wine (and Kahlua), he’s got vodka in the freezer, and Havana rum & Coke for those Cuba Libres.

There’s something about this guy that spells fun.  And though we can all get caught up in our relationships, and the craziness that comes with them, at the end of the day, they should be fun.

He’s got more than one wine brand in his fridge plus a plethora of other choices, which tells me he’s catering to more than one taste.   A good host is a positive quality in a partner and a good sign they have a healthy group of friends.

He also has the big three condiments for a quality BBQ: Ketchup, Mustard and Mayo.  (Though I’ve always felt that tubes were more meant for toothpaste than mayo, I’m glad to see he has it)  Plus, he has Tabasco to boot.  Not only delish, it speeds up the metabolism.  Bettering the chances he looks good naked.

Sticking around Fun Town, the man’s got a healthy supply of Whip Cream.  I’m not sure if it’s for dessert, or the man’s into Varsity Blues and a good ol’ fashion boobie sundae, but it’s an additional asset.

Now, as his mom made him two large jars of marmalade on the top shelf, it’s good to know they’re on speaking terms, making his future wife’s life easier some day.  As long as he knows when to draw boundaries once he’s married, being close with mom is usually a good thing.

And I’d like to assume that golden bunny mom gave him is for Easter.  If not, as that bunny is staring at me, we need to have a serious talk.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on 1st Date: 8

There’s no such thing as a sure thing.  (Outside the red light district, of course)  But the guy’s got booze, munchies and in case of an emergency, can pull out a chocolate bunny.

The hard part is getting someone back to our love nest.  The easy part should be keeping them there.  Our fridges should provide us with the tools to do so.

With enough snacks and bevs on hand to avoid a run to the corner store, mission accomplished.  I see this fridge as the 1st stop on the way to Titillation Town.

Marriage: 7.5

There are certain people we shag and certain people we marry.  This guy appears to be the latter with everything I touched on above.

Now, he might be a bit of a mamma’s boy.  But he is a fun host, can cook and is relatively clean.  He takes care of his things and wraps his zucchini in plastic.  (Literally, no sexually translation there required)

Plus, he’s making an effort to balance his diet.   People say if you want to know what someone will look like in 20 years, check their mom or dad.  I say check their fridge.  Because what they’re putting in their bodies now is going to be a big factor in what they’re going to look like down the road.

For down the road, this guy just might be a keeper.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 1.5

There’s a sports expression: “that’s why you play the game”.  Meaning, no matter how good a team looks on paper, you never know what’s going to happen in a game.

It’s the same with dating.  We’re all a little crazy.  And whether Fridge 3 is a match for you, I couldn’t say.   But as we can see from his fridge, he’s more likely to chill bunnies than boil them.
ZoomInfo
Camera
Nikon D800
ISO
100
Aperture
f/13
Exposure
1/100th
Focal Length
37mm

WeltamSonntag 3

I was featured in Welt AM Sonntag, the largest Sunday paper in Germany. Working with the talented Susanne Kaloff, I broke down the fridges of 4 eligible German bachelors.

Here’s part 3 of a 4 part series…


The last time I saw this much white, I was watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo Next. (So if this dude is institutionalized, I wish him a speedy recovery, but I digress ☺)

Now, there’s a Classic formula passed down through the generations: healthy diet + exercise = 1 bodacious body. Checking this guy’s fridge, he’s no Fabio, but life is a balance and he’s showing a balance here.

He’s got healthy fruits like bananas, oranges and apples, which is great, and he’s ready to party as well.

I mean, the man can make a White Russian. Who doesn’t love The Big Lebowski? All he needs is a bowling bowl and his fridge can host the next LeboskiFest. Speaking of being a killer host, I like the fact that on top of his wine (and Kahlua), he’s got vodka in the freezer, and Havana rum & Coke for those Cuba Libres.

There’s something about this guy that spells fun. And though we can all get caught up in our relationships, and the craziness that comes with them, at the end of the day, they should be fun.

He’s got more than one wine brand in his fridge plus a plethora of other choices, which tells me he’s catering to more than one taste. A good host is a positive quality in a partner and a good sign they have a healthy group of friends.

He also has the big three condiments for a quality BBQ: Ketchup, Mustard and Mayo. (Though I’ve always felt that tubes were more meant for toothpaste than mayo, I’m glad to see he has it) Plus, he has Tabasco to boot. Not only delish, it speeds up the metabolism. Bettering the chances he looks good naked.

Sticking around Fun Town, the man’s got a healthy supply of Whip Cream. I’m not sure if it’s for dessert, or the man’s into Varsity Blues and a good ol’ fashion boobie sundae, but it’s an additional asset.

Now, as his mom made him two large jars of marmalade on the top shelf, it’s good to know they’re on speaking terms, making his future wife’s life easier some day. As long as he knows when to draw boundaries once he’s married, being close with mom is usually a good thing.

And I’d like to assume that golden bunny mom gave him is for Easter. If not, as that bunny is staring at me, we need to have a serious talk.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on 1st Date: 8

There’s no such thing as a sure thing. (Outside the red light district, of course) But the guy’s got booze, munchies and in case of an emergency, can pull out a chocolate bunny.

The hard part is getting someone back to our love nest. The easy part should be keeping them there. Our fridges should provide us with the tools to do so.

With enough snacks and bevs on hand to avoid a run to the corner store, mission accomplished. I see this fridge as the 1st stop on the way to Titillation Town.

Marriage: 7.5

There are certain people we shag and certain people we marry. This guy appears to be the latter with everything I touched on above.

Now, he might be a bit of a mamma’s boy. But he is a fun host, can cook and is relatively clean. He takes care of his things and wraps his zucchini in plastic. (Literally, no sexually translation there required)

Plus, he’s making an effort to balance his diet. People say if you want to know what someone will look like in 20 years, check their mom or dad. I say check their fridge. Because what they’re putting in their bodies now is going to be a big factor in what they’re going to look like down the road.

For down the road, this guy just might be a keeper.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 1.5

There’s a sports expression: “that’s why you play the game”. Meaning, no matter how good a team looks on paper, you never know what’s going to happen in a game.

It’s the same with dating. We’re all a little crazy. And whether Fridge 3 is a match for you, I couldn’t say. But as we can see from his fridge, he’s more likely to chill bunnies than boil them.

6Medium, Dating, Relationships, Love, Marriage, Refrigerator, Food, Drink, Cocktails, Funny, Humor, Quote, Insight, Male, Mustbang,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  I have a blind date with Ted and in honor of you, I asked him to send a fridge pic.  Should I be afraid?
  
  -Julie


Stonehill Analysis

Julie, am I afraid of roid rage?  Yes.

Am I also afraid of those dudes who drag their igloo coolers down the beach selling drinks on the weekends?  Yes again.

Giving Ted the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t make a living loitering around Muscle Beach, it’s safe to say that he’s AWOL: an Asshole Working Out Loudly.

We’ve all watched them.  Those douches that believe the louder they work out, the larger their muscles will grow.  The dudes convinced their tank tops are way sexier after cutting them up with a pair of scissors.

Cause if there’s one thing we know, it’s those guttural cries and echoing clanks of metal on metal is their version of a mating call.  What a gym is to them, Happy Hour is to the rest of us.  Cause AWOL’s are at the gym to do one thing: mate.  They down Protein Rush, the way we down Martinis.

Ted’s obviously never made it professionally or his fridge would be a step up from the Sub-way-less-than-Zero model.

Though I hated having to take Latin in 6th Grade, there was one expression I found invaluable: Nosce Te Ipsum…know thyself.  In whatever capacity of life, knowing thyself is important.  For dating, it’s vital.

Know who you are.  And though I do believe in taking chances on love and dating out of the box, I also believe dating is a game of playing the odds.

For AWOL here, if you have double-digit body fat, no tramp stamp and spin in more than just a bra, you’re most likely not his type.  He might be great, he might come in extra handy when you have to move, but this is about finding that special someone.

Can I imagine his build?  Yes.  But leave him to his fellow kind.  And occasional underwear model.   And next time he performs that loud exercise that makes no sense to the rest of us, whether it’s slinkying the climbing rope or slamming the medicine ball into the floor, admire him from afar. (Using at least 2 mirrors)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
Ted has to wake up early for a workout and needs a good night’s sleep.  And he takes his rest very seriously.  Though you might just bone and bolt cause he’s ripped.

Marry: 9
If you’re a trainer.  If you’ve been in at least one music video, 8.  If you’re none of the above, 2.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 7
There’s gotta be a shitload of testosterone running through those veins.  If you get to his pad, go tinkle and check the medicine cabinet.  If he’s got roids, run.
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Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

I have a blind date with Ted and in honor of you, I asked him to send a fridge pic. Should I be afraid?

-Julie

Stonehill Analysis

Julie, am I afraid of roid rage? Yes.

Am I also afraid of those dudes who drag their igloo coolers down the beach selling drinks on the weekends? Yes again.

Giving Ted the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t make a living loitering around Muscle Beach, it’s safe to say that he’s AWOL: an Asshole Working Out Loudly.

We’ve all watched them. Those douches that believe the louder they work out, the larger their muscles will grow. The dudes convinced their tank tops are way sexier after cutting them up with a pair of scissors.

Cause if there’s one thing we know, it’s those guttural cries and echoing clanks of metal on metal is their version of a mating call. What a gym is to them, Happy Hour is to the rest of us. Cause AWOL’s are at the gym to do one thing: mate. They down Protein Rush, the way we down Martinis.

Ted’s obviously never made it professionally or his fridge would be a step up from the Sub-way-less-than-Zero model.

Though I hated having to take Latin in 6th Grade, there was one expression I found invaluable: Nosce Te Ipsum…know thyself. In whatever capacity of life, knowing thyself is important. For dating, it’s vital.

Know who you are. And though I do believe in taking chances on love and dating out of the box, I also believe dating is a game of playing the odds.

For AWOL here, if you have double-digit body fat, no tramp stamp and spin in more than just a bra, you’re most likely not his type. He might be great, he might come in extra handy when you have to move, but this is about finding that special someone.

Can I imagine his build? Yes. But leave him to his fellow kind. And occasional underwear model. And next time he performs that loud exercise that makes no sense to the rest of us, whether it’s slinkying the climbing rope or slamming the medicine ball into the floor, admire him from afar. (Using at least 2 mirrors)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
Ted has to wake up early for a workout and needs a good night’s sleep. And he takes his rest very seriously. Though you might just bone and bolt cause he’s ripped.

Marry: 9
If you’re a trainer. If you’ve been in at least one music video, 8. If you’re none of the above, 2.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 7
There’s gotta be a shitload of testosterone running through those veins. If you get to his pad, go tinkle and check the medicine cabinet. If he’s got roids, run.

6Medium, Neverbang, Male, Dating, Relationships, Love, Refrigerator, Food, Drinks, Exercise, gym,

Fridge Analysis


  Hi, Mr. John Stonehill –
  
  I have a friend who wants his fridge done and wants to know why he has problems with women. I know him well and I’ve already told him why, but he doesn’t believe me. So I guess he needs your expert opinion.
  
  And when you do his write up, would you call him “The Bergler”? That’s his nickname here in our scooter club.
  
  Thank you!
  
  -Leslie


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Leslie,

I’m not sure if we can learn more from “The Bergler’s” fridge, or the fact that he’s in a scooter club, but we’ll stick to fridges for now.

When I look at this fridge, it reminds me of a great line in The Incredibles:

Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.Dash: Which is another way of saying no one is.

That’s what I think of when I look at this fridge.  And I don’t mean it in a bad way.  Some of us (and our fridges) just don’t stick out as spesh, positive or negative.  Bergler just seems like a regular dude.

Per your note, can I see room for improvement?  Of course, we all can..  But it’s not a smoking gun that this guy is home watching YouPorn on his Saturday Nights.

To break down Bergler’s fridge, we’ll separate our thoughts into 2 camps: Hot and Not…

Camp Hot

•   I like his fridge model.  The pic doesn’t tell the make, but it is stainless steel, has humidity controlled veggie drawers, plus digital temperature controls.  All features that cost extra.

•   He shops at Whole Foods.  It’s an upscale store that carriers premium quality for a premium price.  (The fact he also shops at a Kroger-owned supermarket, like most of us, reinforces his residency in camp regular)

•   He’s (mostly) a brand guy, with Schweppes, French’s and Land O’Lakes for support.

•   He has skim milk.  Is it hot if he downs it by the half gallon?  Uh, no.  But at least it’s fat free and with his healthy stash of eggs, a sign he’s big on breakfast.

•   Fever Tree Ginger Ale: this is a renowned company that produces 1st class mixers and is found in several of the world’s top restaurants.  Whether it’s to mix with Jack or to enjoy on it’s own, it shows B-Train’s got taste.

•   He’s got foodie potential, at least when it comes to Asian sauces and pastes.

Camp Not

•   Corona.  Lets be frank: clever commercials aside, it’s the Milwaukee’s Best of Mexico.  A quality beer doesn’t need a lime to add flavor.  I have to assume Bergler is more influenced by its media than its product (which most of us are at times).

•   Camp Carb.  I mean, how much bread does one guy need?  There are prisons that serve less.  He does eat relatively well, and reinforces the ‘middle-of-the-road’ theme.  Plenty of fruits and veggies, but enough bread to build one big belly.

•   Heluva homebody.  The Bergler has enough perishable foods to keep him home more than he should be, yet not what’s needed to host a date.  With the bread alone, he’s got enough sandwiches for a week.

•   His freezer is an ‘oh’ for organization.  He does have some quality stuff in there, but they look like they’re living under a rock.  Chaos in one’s fridge = chaos in one’s life.

We live in a day where everyone gets a trophy.  My feeling: you get a trophy for being spesh.  That’s not to say Bergler isn’t.  It’s just that nothing calls out that he’s a must-meet, or a must-miss either.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
I like the fact that he has beer to serve, plus cheese if he has a lineup of red wine.  If he’s using it to make cheese sandwiches, he’s screwed.  (Not the good way)

Plus, lets face it: guys on scooters normally don’t kill it with the ladies.

Marry: 5
The Bergler again falls middle-of-the-road.  He probably has a career as he can afford an upscale model.  Plus, he drinks and eats meat, both of which I like to see.

It’s important to put your best foot forward when you’re single.  If you don’t, you’ll probably look worse when you’re married.

With enough bread and jelly to keep peanut butter in business, Bergler’s probably not svelte.  But he’s eating well enough, that I assume he’s no worse than average either.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
He has female friends who vouch for him, a big plus.  The fact he rides a scooter, an additional sign he’s harmless.

I don’t like that he has enough bread for a stakeout and his chaotic fridge is a red flag.

Though I still have to keep him below average.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Analysis


  Hi, Mr. John Stonehill –
  
  I have a friend who wants his fridge done and wants to know why he has problems with women. I know him well and I’ve already told him why, but he doesn’t believe me. So I guess he needs your expert opinion.
  
  And when you do his write up, would you call him “The Bergler”? That’s his nickname here in our scooter club.
  
  Thank you!
  
  -Leslie


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Leslie,

I’m not sure if we can learn more from “The Bergler’s” fridge, or the fact that he’s in a scooter club, but we’ll stick to fridges for now.

When I look at this fridge, it reminds me of a great line in The Incredibles:

Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.Dash: Which is another way of saying no one is.

That’s what I think of when I look at this fridge.  And I don’t mean it in a bad way.  Some of us (and our fridges) just don’t stick out as spesh, positive or negative.  Bergler just seems like a regular dude.

Per your note, can I see room for improvement?  Of course, we all can..  But it’s not a smoking gun that this guy is home watching YouPorn on his Saturday Nights.

To break down Bergler’s fridge, we’ll separate our thoughts into 2 camps: Hot and Not…

Camp Hot

•   I like his fridge model.  The pic doesn’t tell the make, but it is stainless steel, has humidity controlled veggie drawers, plus digital temperature controls.  All features that cost extra.

•   He shops at Whole Foods.  It’s an upscale store that carriers premium quality for a premium price.  (The fact he also shops at a Kroger-owned supermarket, like most of us, reinforces his residency in camp regular)

•   He’s (mostly) a brand guy, with Schweppes, French’s and Land O’Lakes for support.

•   He has skim milk.  Is it hot if he downs it by the half gallon?  Uh, no.  But at least it’s fat free and with his healthy stash of eggs, a sign he’s big on breakfast.

•   Fever Tree Ginger Ale: this is a renowned company that produces 1st class mixers and is found in several of the world’s top restaurants.  Whether it’s to mix with Jack or to enjoy on it’s own, it shows B-Train’s got taste.

•   He’s got foodie potential, at least when it comes to Asian sauces and pastes.

Camp Not

•   Corona.  Lets be frank: clever commercials aside, it’s the Milwaukee’s Best of Mexico.  A quality beer doesn’t need a lime to add flavor.  I have to assume Bergler is more influenced by its media than its product (which most of us are at times).

•   Camp Carb.  I mean, how much bread does one guy need?  There are prisons that serve less.  He does eat relatively well, and reinforces the ‘middle-of-the-road’ theme.  Plenty of fruits and veggies, but enough bread to build one big belly.

•   Heluva homebody.  The Bergler has enough perishable foods to keep him home more than he should be, yet not what’s needed to host a date.  With the bread alone, he’s got enough sandwiches for a week.

•   His freezer is an ‘oh’ for organization.  He does have some quality stuff in there, but they look like they’re living under a rock.  Chaos in one’s fridge = chaos in one’s life.

We live in a day where everyone gets a trophy.  My feeling: you get a trophy for being spesh.  That’s not to say Bergler isn’t.  It’s just that nothing calls out that he’s a must-meet, or a must-miss either.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
I like the fact that he has beer to serve, plus cheese if he has a lineup of red wine.  If he’s using it to make cheese sandwiches, he’s screwed.  (Not the good way)

Plus, lets face it: guys on scooters normally don’t kill it with the ladies.

Marry: 5
The Bergler again falls middle-of-the-road.  He probably has a career as he can afford an upscale model.  Plus, he drinks and eats meat, both of which I like to see.

It’s important to put your best foot forward when you’re single.  If you don’t, you’ll probably look worse when you’re married.

With enough bread and jelly to keep peanut butter in business, Bergler’s probably not svelte.  But he’s eating well enough, that I assume he’s no worse than average either.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
He has female friends who vouch for him, a big plus.  The fact he rides a scooter, an additional sign he’s harmless.

I don’t like that he has enough bread for a stakeout and his chaotic fridge is a red flag.

Though I still have to keep him below average.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Analysis


  Hi, Mr. John Stonehill –
  
  I have a friend who wants his fridge done and wants to know why he has problems with women. I know him well and I’ve already told him why, but he doesn’t believe me. So I guess he needs your expert opinion.
  
  And when you do his write up, would you call him “The Bergler”? That’s his nickname here in our scooter club.
  
  Thank you!
  
  -Leslie


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Leslie,

I’m not sure if we can learn more from “The Bergler’s” fridge, or the fact that he’s in a scooter club, but we’ll stick to fridges for now.

When I look at this fridge, it reminds me of a great line in The Incredibles:

Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.Dash: Which is another way of saying no one is.

That’s what I think of when I look at this fridge.  And I don’t mean it in a bad way.  Some of us (and our fridges) just don’t stick out as spesh, positive or negative.  Bergler just seems like a regular dude.

Per your note, can I see room for improvement?  Of course, we all can..  But it’s not a smoking gun that this guy is home watching YouPorn on his Saturday Nights.

To break down Bergler’s fridge, we’ll separate our thoughts into 2 camps: Hot and Not…

Camp Hot

•   I like his fridge model.  The pic doesn’t tell the make, but it is stainless steel, has humidity controlled veggie drawers, plus digital temperature controls.  All features that cost extra.

•   He shops at Whole Foods.  It’s an upscale store that carriers premium quality for a premium price.  (The fact he also shops at a Kroger-owned supermarket, like most of us, reinforces his residency in camp regular)

•   He’s (mostly) a brand guy, with Schweppes, French’s and Land O’Lakes for support.

•   He has skim milk.  Is it hot if he downs it by the half gallon?  Uh, no.  But at least it’s fat free and with his healthy stash of eggs, a sign he’s big on breakfast.

•   Fever Tree Ginger Ale: this is a renowned company that produces 1st class mixers and is found in several of the world’s top restaurants.  Whether it’s to mix with Jack or to enjoy on it’s own, it shows B-Train’s got taste.

•   He’s got foodie potential, at least when it comes to Asian sauces and pastes.

Camp Not

•   Corona.  Lets be frank: clever commercials aside, it’s the Milwaukee’s Best of Mexico.  A quality beer doesn’t need a lime to add flavor.  I have to assume Bergler is more influenced by its media than its product (which most of us are at times).

•   Camp Carb.  I mean, how much bread does one guy need?  There are prisons that serve less.  He does eat relatively well, and reinforces the ‘middle-of-the-road’ theme.  Plenty of fruits and veggies, but enough bread to build one big belly.

•   Heluva homebody.  The Bergler has enough perishable foods to keep him home more than he should be, yet not what’s needed to host a date.  With the bread alone, he’s got enough sandwiches for a week.

•   His freezer is an ‘oh’ for organization.  He does have some quality stuff in there, but they look like they’re living under a rock.  Chaos in one’s fridge = chaos in one’s life.

We live in a day where everyone gets a trophy.  My feeling: you get a trophy for being spesh.  That’s not to say Bergler isn’t.  It’s just that nothing calls out that he’s a must-meet, or a must-miss either.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
I like the fact that he has beer to serve, plus cheese if he has a lineup of red wine.  If he’s using it to make cheese sandwiches, he’s screwed.  (Not the good way)

Plus, lets face it: guys on scooters normally don’t kill it with the ladies.

Marry: 5
The Bergler again falls middle-of-the-road.  He probably has a career as he can afford an upscale model.  Plus, he drinks and eats meat, both of which I like to see.

It’s important to put your best foot forward when you’re single.  If you don’t, you’ll probably look worse when you’re married.

With enough bread and jelly to keep peanut butter in business, Bergler’s probably not svelte.  But he’s eating well enough, that I assume he’s no worse than average either.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
He has female friends who vouch for him, a big plus.  The fact he rides a scooter, an additional sign he’s harmless.

I don’t like that he has enough bread for a stakeout and his chaotic fridge is a red flag.

Though I still have to keep him below average.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Analysis

Hi, Mr. John Stonehill –

I have a friend who wants his fridge done and wants to know why he has problems with women. I know him well and I’ve already told him why, but he doesn’t believe me. So I guess he needs your expert opinion.

And when you do his write up, would you call him “The Bergler”? That’s his nickname here in our scooter club.

Thank you!

-Leslie

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Leslie,

I’m not sure if we can learn more from “The Bergler’s” fridge, or the fact that he’s in a scooter club, but we’ll stick to fridges for now.

When I look at this fridge, it reminds me of a great line in The Incredibles:

Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.
Dash: Which is another way of saying no one is.

That’s what I think of when I look at this fridge. And I don’t mean it in a bad way. Some of us (and our fridges) just don’t stick out as spesh, positive or negative. Bergler just seems like a regular dude.

Per your note, can I see room for improvement? Of course, we all can.. But it’s not a smoking gun that this guy is home watching YouPorn on his Saturday Nights.

To break down Bergler’s fridge, we’ll separate our thoughts into 2 camps: Hot and Not…

Camp Hot

• I like his fridge model. The pic doesn’t tell the make, but it is stainless steel, has humidity controlled veggie drawers, plus digital temperature controls. All features that cost extra.

• He shops at Whole Foods. It’s an upscale store that carriers premium quality for a premium price. (The fact he also shops at a Kroger-owned supermarket, like most of us, reinforces his residency in camp regular)

• He’s (mostly) a brand guy, with Schweppes, French’s and Land O’Lakes for support.

• He has skim milk. Is it hot if he downs it by the half gallon? Uh, no. But at least it’s fat free and with his healthy stash of eggs, a sign he’s big on breakfast.

• Fever Tree Ginger Ale: this is a renowned company that produces 1st class mixers and is found in several of the world’s top restaurants. Whether it’s to mix with Jack or to enjoy on it’s own, it shows B-Train’s got taste.

• He’s got foodie potential, at least when it comes to Asian sauces and pastes.

Camp Not

• Corona. Lets be frank: clever commercials aside, it’s the Milwaukee’s Best of Mexico. A quality beer doesn’t need a lime to add flavor. I have to assume Bergler is more influenced by its media than its product (which most of us are at times).

• Camp Carb. I mean, how much bread does one guy need? There are prisons that serve less. He does eat relatively well, and reinforces the ‘middle-of-the-road’ theme. Plenty of fruits and veggies, but enough bread to build one big belly.

• Heluva homebody. The Bergler has enough perishable foods to keep him home more than he should be, yet not what’s needed to host a date. With the bread alone, he’s got enough sandwiches for a week.

• His freezer is an ‘oh’ for organization. He does have some quality stuff in there, but they look like they’re living under a rock. Chaos in one’s fridge = chaos in one’s life.

We live in a day where everyone gets a trophy. My feeling: you get a trophy for being spesh. That’s not to say Bergler isn’t. It’s just that nothing calls out that he’s a must-meet, or a must-miss either.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 4
I like the fact that he has beer to serve, plus cheese if he has a lineup of red wine. If he’s using it to make cheese sandwiches, he’s screwed. (Not the good way)

Plus, lets face it: guys on scooters normally don’t kill it with the ladies.

Marry: 5
The Bergler again falls middle-of-the-road. He probably has a career as he can afford an upscale model. Plus, he drinks and eats meat, both of which I like to see.

It’s important to put your best foot forward when you’re single. If you don’t, you’ll probably look worse when you’re married.

With enough bread and jelly to keep peanut butter in business, Bergler’s probably not svelte. But he’s eating well enough, that I assume he’s no worse than average either.

Boil your Bunny: 3.5
He has female friends who vouch for him, a big plus. The fact he rides a scooter, an additional sign he’s harmless.

I don’t like that he has enough bread for a stakeout and his chaotic fridge is a red flag.

Though I still have to keep him below average.

6Medium, Maybebang, Male, Dating, Love, Relationships, Marriage, Romance, Food, Drinks, Cocktails, Humor, Funny, Advice, Insight,

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

Help! This is Jack’s fridge. Here’s the deal: I really like him and he makes me laugh. We sleep together, but he hardly calls and when he does, we hardly go out. I understand that he travels a ton, but I’d like to see him more. Basically I don’t know what’s going on, does his Fridge tell you anything?

xoxo

-Lindsey

Stonehill Analysis

Lindsey,

You seem like a sweetheart and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Greg is as genuine as a 3-dollar bill. He’s not traveling a ton, he just doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he’d call and take you out in public.

We’re here to find the one, so I won’t waste your time with Jack the Jerk-off, and prefer to yank the Band-Aid off quickly.

Lets dive into his fridge. This is a guy who clearly doesn’t leave home much. How do I know? Cause I travel a ton and my fridge doesn’t look like I have enough to survive when the big one hits. Nobody’s left behind this much evidence since OJ, check out the bottom…

I can’t tell you when his bushel of apples was bought, but considering they’re pristine, and without plastic, they’re fresh. His bread in the left drawer is also in good shape and a clear signal he’ll be in town awhile. Buying bread is committing to making sandwiches and/or breakfast at home.

Moving up a shelf, the guy has Tupperware. That’s a pretty domesticated dude. I don’t have Tupperware and I’m married for God’s sake. If he can put enough thought into keeping his shit fresh, he can put enough thought into dialing a freakin’ phone.

Moving up a shelf, look at those sandwiches. They’re less than a day old, and I hope one is for you. If not, he’s having company after you skedaddle. This guy is too damn healthy to down two heroes at once.

Now in defense of you short-changing yourself, I assume Jack has a hard body. There’s a serious amount healthy shit here. I never ever saw a dude with coconut water. Jamie Lee Curtis has less yogurt. The guy’s got game. Almond milk for cereal, skim milk for breakfast and coffee, I’m Impressed. For him, not your prospects.

I don’t even need to get into the bottle of wine and olives, my point is made.

Jack is clearly capable of caring about himself and his comfort, though not your feelings. Now, I’m assuming if you’re sharing your feelings with me, you are with him. (If not, we’ll talk about a good therapist)

Jack is not a bad guy if he doesn’t like you. He’s a bad guy if he’s lying to you. But you’re the one who’s truly at fault here. You dictate the relationship you want to live. If you’re giving Jack everything he needs (i.e.: a good rogering) without getting what you need in return, you’re empowering him to do so.

If you want to see him more, don’t shag him until he sees you more. If you want to be taken out, don’t shag him til he takes you out. Stop giving him what he needs without getting what you need in return. If he stops calling? F’m. Buy a Rabbit and join a tennis league.

If you value yourself less than Happy Hour at Sizzler, that’s what you get…average dudes who want all they can eat for a minimal investment.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Shag on first date: 8
Considering the guy is probably in great shape and not worthy of being your boyfriend, this is clearly a Bone and Bolt situation.

Marry: 2
The dick won’t even take you out for dinner, Tina Turner saw more chivalry than this.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
The guy seems like he has far more fish to fry, but having enough shit in his fridge for a stakeout bumps him up a couple of points.

6Medium, Male, Neverbang, Love, Dating, Relationships, Romance, Marriage, Food, Drink, Humor, Funny, Advice,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  Just met two months ago.  He has a tinge to OCD but so do I.
  
  -Ally


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Ally,

When it comes to dating, there are no absolute rights or wrongs.  (At least, if they’re not Oscar Pistorius, but you get my drift)  There’s only what’s right and wrong for us.

You’re clearly dating Mr. Hospital Corners.  What matters is to what degree and to what degree works for you.  As you have a touch of OCD as well, this might be the Yankees Stadium of fridges in your book.

It was a Nominee for OCD fridge of the year.  (Here’s the winner, who’s eligible, in case you guys break up: http://tmblr.co/Zc4T9s196Oqcj ;)

Now, fortunately, this fridge doesn’t reek of Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets, but it can double as a teaching tool for geometry class.  The apple juices look like they were built by I.M. Pei and if your canned beverages marched in better formation, they’d be Nazis.

When we look at a fridge, we might only learn a couple of things about the person.  That applies here.   Yes, he has exceptional organizational skills and is equally impressive on the hygiene front, yet there’s not a ton more here that’s glaring.

Here are a few guesses…

He’s a Kid at Heart

If he had any more apple juice (or varieties), I’d have to assume he was 6.  And how many half gallons of milk does 1 dude need?  It’s clearly for more than just coffee.

He’s a Male Millennial

Per my background in marketing, I’m very familiar with Kickstart and its target demo.  Pepsi Co is heavily advertising the brand in publications and on shows that reach Male Millennials, so there’s a good chance he’s one of them.

The Guy’s not Gargantuan

He doesn’t have a ton of actual food in this fridge, but from what he does have, he’s eating well.  He’s got fruits and veggies, and on the milk front, at least he’s going skim.  Plus, with all the caffeine in that Kickstart, there’s a good chance he’s active.

If he can’t take care of himself when he’s single, it’s a major red flag for down the road and his road is looking fine.

He can Host

It’s not just that he has enough beer to share, he has way more beer than all of his other beverages combined.  I have to assume he has his buddies over, a social quality I like to see.

He’s doing well in his career.  (And his next one might be a B and B)

He has an upscale side-by-side fridge model with a through-the-door water and ice dispenser, so his financial footing is probably on solid ground.

Plus, the last time I saw such an extensive gourmet jelly collection, I was staying at a Bed and Breakfast.  Very impressive.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 3.5
I don’t see OCD guys having much game in the closing department.  There’s just something not-hot about being told when you put down your drink to kiss him that you forgot the coaster, and when you fling off your undies that you need to pick them up and place them neatly on a chair.

Marry: 5.5
With a nice fridge model and as well organized as he is, that’s a good sign that he’s on a career path.  Money never brings happiness, but if you’re not struggling, it helps.

The OCD issue is really up to you and as you swim in the same pool, it could be the perfect fit.

I don’t know many OCD peeps who very funny and laughing is important, but I do give him credit for putting effort into his diet, exercise and hosting duties.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 4
All stalkers are OCD of some type.   At least, this fridge is not scary.  But it does bump him up a bit on the SWTE front.
ZoomInfo
Camera
iPhone 4S
ISO
80
Aperture
f/2.4
Exposure
1/20th
Focal Length
4mm

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

Just met two months ago. He has a tinge to OCD but so do I.

-Ally

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Ally,

When it comes to dating, there are no absolute rights or wrongs. (At least, if they’re not Oscar Pistorius, but you get my drift) There’s only what’s right and wrong for us.

You’re clearly dating Mr. Hospital Corners. What matters is to what degree and to what degree works for you. As you have a touch of OCD as well, this might be the Yankees Stadium of fridges in your book.

It was a Nominee for OCD fridge of the year. (Here’s the winner, who’s eligible, in case you guys break up: http://tmblr.co/Zc4T9s196Oqcj ;)

Now, fortunately, this fridge doesn’t reek of Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets, but it can double as a teaching tool for geometry class. The apple juices look like they were built by I.M. Pei and if your canned beverages marched in better formation, they’d be Nazis.

When we look at a fridge, we might only learn a couple of things about the person. That applies here. Yes, he has exceptional organizational skills and is equally impressive on the hygiene front, yet there’s not a ton more here that’s glaring.

Here are a few guesses…

He’s a Kid at Heart

If he had any more apple juice (or varieties), I’d have to assume he was 6. And how many half gallons of milk does 1 dude need? It’s clearly for more than just coffee.

He’s a Male Millennial

Per my background in marketing, I’m very familiar with Kickstart and its target demo. Pepsi Co is heavily advertising the brand in publications and on shows that reach Male Millennials, so there’s a good chance he’s one of them.

The Guy’s not Gargantuan

He doesn’t have a ton of actual food in this fridge, but from what he does have, he’s eating well. He’s got fruits and veggies, and on the milk front, at least he’s going skim. Plus, with all the caffeine in that Kickstart, there’s a good chance he’s active.

If he can’t take care of himself when he’s single, it’s a major red flag for down the road and his road is looking fine.

He can Host

It’s not just that he has enough beer to share, he has way more beer than all of his other beverages combined. I have to assume he has his buddies over, a social quality I like to see.

He’s doing well in his career. (And his next one might be a B and B)

He has an upscale side-by-side fridge model with a through-the-door water and ice dispenser, so his financial footing is probably on solid ground.

Plus, the last time I saw such an extensive gourmet jelly collection, I was staying at a Bed and Breakfast. Very impressive.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Shag on first date: 3.5
I don’t see OCD guys having much game in the closing department. There’s just something not-hot about being told when you put down your drink to kiss him that you forgot the coaster, and when you fling off your undies that you need to pick them up and place them neatly on a chair.

Marry: 5.5
With a nice fridge model and as well organized as he is, that’s a good sign that he’s on a career path. Money never brings happiness, but if you’re not struggling, it helps.

The OCD issue is really up to you and as you swim in the same pool, it could be the perfect fit.

I don’t know many OCD peeps who very funny and laughing is important, but I do give him credit for putting effort into his diet, exercise and hosting duties.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 4
All stalkers are OCD of some type. At least, this fridge is not scary. But it does bump him up a bit on the SWTE front.

6Medium, Maybebang, Relationships, Love, Male, Dating, Romance, Advice, Marriage, Humor,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  This is my boyfriend’s fridge. What do you think? We’ve been dating for about 5 months.
  
  Love your blog! :)
  
  -Stacie,


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Stacie,

We’re all dating detectives in our own way.  Some of us might judge our dates on how they dress.  Others judge on what’s on their bookshelves.  Living in LA, some judge on what they drive.  (I have a few thoughts on the car front, which I’ll post on Twitter today: https://twitter.com/checktheirfridg)

I’ve found the most accurate indicator to be their refrigerator.  Now, as I’ve always said, when it comes to dating, nothing is black and white.   And when it comes to someone’s fridge, it never tells his or her whole picture.

But what’s in someone’s fridge does offer clues into their lifestyle and thus, what it would be like to date them.

When I look at your boyfriend’s fridge, can I tell if he’s the guy for you?  Of course not, only you’ll know that.  But we do get some insight…

The man’s got money

He’s got a side-by-side model.  It’s generally more expensive than a top-bottom fridge and I can see by the left door, he’s got an ice/water dispenser, a luxe feature.  This tells me he’s either a homeowner, or in a high-end rental.

Does money = happiness?  Hell no.  But it is one less issue to fight about if you guys move forward.

The fact that the manual is in the bottom drawer indicates that he’s either ludicrously lazy or has never fully settled in.  You’d think if he was going to stick around, he’d put the damn thing in a drawer or chuck it by now.

He’s more about taking out than cooking in

If his condiment shelf was any more populated, it’d look like India.  It’s clear most of his meals are prepared anywhere but his kitchen.

He might grill, which I like to see, as he has hotdogs and the BBQ big 3: mayo, mustard and ketchup.  His other big meal is breakfast.  He’s got eggs, bacon, country Crock and Coffee Mate for home brewed coffee.  Chances are this is your crash pad on weekends.

He’s in good shape

He’s got Promax Protein Energy bars to fuel his workouts and build muscle.   Plus, he downs Fish Oil, high in Omega-3 fatty acids, to prevent heart disease.

That, combined with his lack of junk food, tells me he puts a fine food forward to look good naked.  As I preach, if you can’t make the effort to look your best when you’re single, odds are you’ll look even worse later.

The Dude abides

Your BF drinks like a man.  No offense to Vodka, but it’s not a manly drink.  It’s basically an alcohol to mix with something so it tastes like that something.

He’s more of a guy’s guy, as he prefers bourbon and Whiskey (though his Jameson should be larger than a Dixie Cup).  For extra credit, he’s got tequila and beer on standby.

He’s from the Midwest

At times, a fridge can offer clues on geography and it does so here.   He has Hy-Vee Grape Jelly.  It’s a supermarket chain from the Midwest, and he ether lives there now or is pathetically cheap and dragged his jelly with him.

Of course, there’s more items to go on and I can’t say with absolute certainty whether he’s a doll or a douche.  But I do like what I see here.  And that’s always a good start.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 7
The guy looks like he’s got game to close early.  He’s probably social (he has a large bag of ice even though he’s got an ice maker), in shag shape and is financially independent.

That combined with liquor for a nightcap, ice cream for dessert and breakfast in bed come morning?  I don’t know what you’re attracted to, but we all need to clean the pipes and I see nothing here that would stop you.

Marry: 7
I see qualities that are important in a partner.  He looks like he has his shit together, takes pride in his looks, and knows how to have a good time.

That’s enough to stick around Positive Town.  To paint this picture any further, we’d need more insight from you.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
The only red flag I see is the manual.  For whatever reason, it seems a bit weird that he’s been living in his pad for a while, yet can’t find a better place for it.

The left door can use a wipe down, but it’s a relatively neat fridge and even has baking soda.  Looks like all’s quiet on the Wackypack Front.
ZoomInfo
Camera
Samsung SPH-L710
ISO
160
Aperture
f/2.6
Exposure
1/15th
Focal Length
3mm

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

This is my boyfriend’s fridge. What do you think? We’ve been dating for about 5 months.

Love your blog! :)

-Stacie,

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Stacie,

We’re all dating detectives in our own way. Some of us might judge our dates on how they dress. Others judge on what’s on their bookshelves. Living in LA, some judge on what they drive. (I have a few thoughts on the car front, which I’ll post on Twitter today: https://twitter.com/checktheirfridg)

I’ve found the most accurate indicator to be their refrigerator. Now, as I’ve always said, when it comes to dating, nothing is black and white. And when it comes to someone’s fridge, it never tells his or her whole picture.

But what’s in someone’s fridge does offer clues into their lifestyle and thus, what it would be like to date them.

When I look at your boyfriend’s fridge, can I tell if he’s the guy for you? Of course not, only you’ll know that. But we do get some insight…

The man’s got money

He’s got a side-by-side model. It’s generally more expensive than a top-bottom fridge and I can see by the left door, he’s got an ice/water dispenser, a luxe feature. This tells me he’s either a homeowner, or in a high-end rental.

Does money = happiness? Hell no. But it is one less issue to fight about if you guys move forward.

The fact that the manual is in the bottom drawer indicates that he’s either ludicrously lazy or has never fully settled in. You’d think if he was going to stick around, he’d put the damn thing in a drawer or chuck it by now.

He’s more about taking out than cooking in

If his condiment shelf was any more populated, it’d look like India. It’s clear most of his meals are prepared anywhere but his kitchen.

He might grill, which I like to see, as he has hotdogs and the BBQ big 3: mayo, mustard and ketchup. His other big meal is breakfast. He’s got eggs, bacon, country Crock and Coffee Mate for home brewed coffee. Chances are this is your crash pad on weekends.

He’s in good shape

He’s got Promax Protein Energy bars to fuel his workouts and build muscle. Plus, he downs Fish Oil, high in Omega-3 fatty acids, to prevent heart disease.

That, combined with his lack of junk food, tells me he puts a fine food forward to look good naked. As I preach, if you can’t make the effort to look your best when you’re single, odds are you’ll look even worse later.

The Dude abides

Your BF drinks like a man. No offense to Vodka, but it’s not a manly drink. It’s basically an alcohol to mix with something so it tastes like that something.

He’s more of a guy’s guy, as he prefers bourbon and Whiskey (though his Jameson should be larger than a Dixie Cup). For extra credit, he’s got tequila and beer on standby.

He’s from the Midwest

At times, a fridge can offer clues on geography and it does so here. He has Hy-Vee Grape Jelly. It’s a supermarket chain from the Midwest, and he ether lives there now or is pathetically cheap and dragged his jelly with him.

Of course, there’s more items to go on and I can’t say with absolute certainty whether he’s a doll or a douche. But I do like what I see here. And that’s always a good start.

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 7
The guy looks like he’s got game to close early. He’s probably social (he has a large bag of ice even though he’s got an ice maker), in shag shape and is financially independent.

That combined with liquor for a nightcap, ice cream for dessert and breakfast in bed come morning? I don’t know what you’re attracted to, but we all need to clean the pipes and I see nothing here that would stop you.

Marry: 7
I see qualities that are important in a partner. He looks like he has his shit together, takes pride in his looks, and knows how to have a good time.

That’s enough to stick around Positive Town. To paint this picture any further, we’d need more insight from you.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
The only red flag I see is the manual. For whatever reason, it seems a bit weird that he’s been living in his pad for a while, yet can’t find a better place for it.

The left door can use a wipe down, but it’s a relatively neat fridge and even has baking soda. Looks like all’s quiet on the Wackypack Front.

6Medium, Mustbang, Love, Dating, Romance, Advice, Relationships, Male,

Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  My neighbor asked me out, what do you think?
  
  -Kylie,


Stonehill Analysis

Kylie, for some reason, I woke up in Positive Town this morning and I’m going to stay awhile.

Here’s the goods news…you have a WIP on your hands: Work In Progress.  And if there’s one thing I know about women, they looove projects.  Why do I know this?  Because HGTV is catnip for chicks.  Women are obsessed with it and the ‘projects’ they tackle.

Yes, Chris is a human, not a house, but it’s work all the same.  Lets do a walkthrough…

The guy is still drinking Red Bull and Vodka.  That ship sailed years ago and he’s still clinging to the lifeboat.  The Red Bull is clearly for the Vodka, because there’s absolutely nothing else in this fridge that says he gives a shit about adventure, let alone skydiving from space.

Why shouldn’t dudes be drinking Vodka?  Cause it’s not a drink, it’s just a vehicle to mix with something else and get drunk.  If you accept Mission Possible, get him started on drinking brown liquors, or at the very least, Gin.

Now I can’t tell what all the condiments are, but by the shape of the bottles and labels, it’s clear that he’s not buying generic.  It’s also clear that he’s not a sophisticated eater, as hot sauce is as foodie as he gets.

I am glad to see that when he does cook to save a few scheckles, he’s buying a pasta sauce higher up the totem pole than Ragu.  (We want a project here, not a teardown)

On a different level, his fridge reveals that he’s a bit anal.  I mean, the dude saved a bottle of water with one sip left in it.  Just finish it, dude, it’s one feakin’ sip.  Or pour it in a plant, but refrigerating your backwash doesn’t make sense to me.

Moving to the basement, Chris has got some mystery item in the produce drawer, which leaves me sure about one thing: it’s not produce.  Bottom line, there’s nothing in this fridge which tells me he’s the least bit health conscious.  The only thing that resembles salad dressing is clearly cream-based.  If he used that bottled water to go on hikes, he’d be buying more than 6-packs.

Lastly, his fridge tells me he’s doing okay with work.  A fridge model like this is probably in a condo or an upscale rental, and his busy work schedule is backed up by the fact that he mostly does take out, or eats out altogether.

Here’s the Good news: you can buy a fixer, so there’s a lot of upside.  And as women are well aware, fixer projects can be fun.  (If you need an architect, I’m available :)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 3.5
Chris clearly doesn’t have game to close the first night.  But at times, we all have to clean the pipes, and the guys that aren’t taken seriously for relationships get the spoils from women who want commitment-free sex.

Marry: 4.5
I leave this almost middle of the road, because it’s your project.  And I’ve seen many women turn fixers into their dream husbands.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
His fridge hasn’t graduated from Middle School, and there’s no products or brands that lead me to believe he hates women.  He’s clearly busy with work and stalking is extremely time-intensive.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Analysis


  Stonehill,
  
  My neighbor asked me out, what do you think?
  
  -Kylie,


Stonehill Analysis

Kylie, for some reason, I woke up in Positive Town this morning and I’m going to stay awhile.

Here’s the goods news…you have a WIP on your hands: Work In Progress.  And if there’s one thing I know about women, they looove projects.  Why do I know this?  Because HGTV is catnip for chicks.  Women are obsessed with it and the ‘projects’ they tackle.

Yes, Chris is a human, not a house, but it’s work all the same.  Lets do a walkthrough…

The guy is still drinking Red Bull and Vodka.  That ship sailed years ago and he’s still clinging to the lifeboat.  The Red Bull is clearly for the Vodka, because there’s absolutely nothing else in this fridge that says he gives a shit about adventure, let alone skydiving from space.

Why shouldn’t dudes be drinking Vodka?  Cause it’s not a drink, it’s just a vehicle to mix with something else and get drunk.  If you accept Mission Possible, get him started on drinking brown liquors, or at the very least, Gin.

Now I can’t tell what all the condiments are, but by the shape of the bottles and labels, it’s clear that he’s not buying generic.  It’s also clear that he’s not a sophisticated eater, as hot sauce is as foodie as he gets.

I am glad to see that when he does cook to save a few scheckles, he’s buying a pasta sauce higher up the totem pole than Ragu.  (We want a project here, not a teardown)

On a different level, his fridge reveals that he’s a bit anal.  I mean, the dude saved a bottle of water with one sip left in it.  Just finish it, dude, it’s one feakin’ sip.  Or pour it in a plant, but refrigerating your backwash doesn’t make sense to me.

Moving to the basement, Chris has got some mystery item in the produce drawer, which leaves me sure about one thing: it’s not produce.  Bottom line, there’s nothing in this fridge which tells me he’s the least bit health conscious.  The only thing that resembles salad dressing is clearly cream-based.  If he used that bottled water to go on hikes, he’d be buying more than 6-packs.

Lastly, his fridge tells me he’s doing okay with work.  A fridge model like this is probably in a condo or an upscale rental, and his busy work schedule is backed up by the fact that he mostly does take out, or eats out altogether.

Here’s the Good news: you can buy a fixer, so there’s a lot of upside.  And as women are well aware, fixer projects can be fun.  (If you need an architect, I’m available :)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 3.5
Chris clearly doesn’t have game to close the first night.  But at times, we all have to clean the pipes, and the guys that aren’t taken seriously for relationships get the spoils from women who want commitment-free sex.

Marry: 4.5
I leave this almost middle of the road, because it’s your project.  And I’ve seen many women turn fixers into their dream husbands.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
His fridge hasn’t graduated from Middle School, and there’s no products or brands that lead me to believe he hates women.  He’s clearly busy with work and stalking is extremely time-intensive.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Analysis

Stonehill,

My neighbor asked me out, what do you think?

-Kylie,

Stonehill Analysis

Kylie, for some reason, I woke up in Positive Town this morning and I’m going to stay awhile.

Here’s the goods news…you have a WIP on your hands: Work In Progress. And if there’s one thing I know about women, they looove projects. Why do I know this? Because HGTV is catnip for chicks. Women are obsessed with it and the ‘projects’ they tackle.

Yes, Chris is a human, not a house, but it’s work all the same. Lets do a walkthrough…

The guy is still drinking Red Bull and Vodka. That ship sailed years ago and he’s still clinging to the lifeboat. The Red Bull is clearly for the Vodka, because there’s absolutely nothing else in this fridge that says he gives a shit about adventure, let alone skydiving from space.

Why shouldn’t dudes be drinking Vodka? Cause it’s not a drink, it’s just a vehicle to mix with something else and get drunk. If you accept Mission Possible, get him started on drinking brown liquors, or at the very least, Gin.

Now I can’t tell what all the condiments are, but by the shape of the bottles and labels, it’s clear that he’s not buying generic. It’s also clear that he’s not a sophisticated eater, as hot sauce is as foodie as he gets.

I am glad to see that when he does cook to save a few scheckles, he’s buying a pasta sauce higher up the totem pole than Ragu. (We want a project here, not a teardown)

On a different level, his fridge reveals that he’s a bit anal. I mean, the dude saved a bottle of water with one sip left in it. Just finish it, dude, it’s one feakin’ sip. Or pour it in a plant, but refrigerating your backwash doesn’t make sense to me.

Moving to the basement, Chris has got some mystery item in the produce drawer, which leaves me sure about one thing: it’s not produce. Bottom line, there’s nothing in this fridge which tells me he’s the least bit health conscious. The only thing that resembles salad dressing is clearly cream-based. If he used that bottled water to go on hikes, he’d be buying more than 6-packs.

Lastly, his fridge tells me he’s doing okay with work. A fridge model like this is probably in a condo or an upscale rental, and his busy work schedule is backed up by the fact that he mostly does take out, or eats out altogether.

Here’s the Good news: you can buy a fixer, so there’s a lot of upside. And as women are well aware, fixer projects can be fun. (If you need an architect, I’m available :)

Fridge Dating Scorecard

Bang on first date: 3.5
Chris clearly doesn’t have game to close the first night. But at times, we all have to clean the pipes, and the guys that aren’t taken seriously for relationships get the spoils from women who want commitment-free sex.

Marry: 4.5
I leave this almost middle of the road, because it’s your project. And I’ve seen many women turn fixers into their dream husbands.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
His fridge hasn’t graduated from Middle School, and there’s no products or brands that lead me to believe he hates women. He’s clearly busy with work and stalking is extremely time-intensive.

6Medium, Maybebang, Dating, Love, Relationships, Advice, Male,

Fridge Post #35


  Stonehill,
  
  I’ve been seeing Seth for a month now.  He’s totally honest with me and has told me from the get-go that he’s not looking for a serious relationship right now.  (He just got out of one)
  
  I’m not interested in an ‘open’ relationship.  Should I tell him to stop seeing other people?
  
  Here’s a pic of his fridge.  Does it provide any insight?
  
  Ciao,
  
  -Sandy


Stonehill Analysis

Sandy,

Your question was the inspiration behind yesterday’s #DateTipTuesdays post.

For starters, I give Seth credit for being up front with you.  But that doesn’t mean holding onto him is more important than holding onto your standards.  The fact is, for this relationship to work for you, he has to stop shagging other people.

As I touched on yesterday, I wouldn’t tell him what to do.   He’s a grown man, and there’s no law against having multiple partners.  But I would tell him you’d only be in a monogamous relationship.

Again, you can’t dictate his actions, but you can dictate the kind of relationship you’re in.

What I do find troubling is that you’ve dated this guy for a month after he stated that he isn’t looking for a commitment.  For him to even say this, he has his own shit going on, and whatever the reason, you’re not Dr. Phil, and he’s not your patient.

So don’t pass Go, and don’t collect one last shag.  Just tell him what you’re looking for and skedaddle.  If he chooses monogamy, trust me, he’ll find you.

Now, when it comes to Seth’s fridge, yes, it provides insight into his dating habits, but considering what he told you, that’s secondary.

In the event that he does step up, here’s what his fridge tells us:

He’s out on the town.  A lot.

This is evident by his lack of prepareable foods and weak condiment selection.  He’s eating most of his meals out and not even doing much takeout.  He was upfront that he was dating other people, and his fridge reinforces that.

He’s on a budget.

Some of his products are name brands (Best Foods), yet some are generic (ketchup).  This tells me he’s willing to invest in what’s important to him and while scrimping on what’s not.

This pattern probably translates to his dating, such as the level of locale is dependant on his echelon of interest.   Some guys have a benchmark bar, whoever the girl.  Some don’t.

He has good taste in beer.

Again, if something is important to Seth, he’ll invest in it, shown by the Stella.  He’s able to appreciate the finer things in life.  As you’re the star of the Sandy show, one of those finer things should be you.  If you’re not, better to know now and move on.

He’s a renter.

His fridge is not a model you’d find in a house or condo.  He works, but hasn’t arrived in his career yet, nor is he a TFB (Trust Fund baby).

When I was younger, I felt at times I wasn’t ready to settle down because I wasn’t settled in my career.  That was my way of selling myself short, and Seth might be doing the same.

In reality though, it doesn’t matter.  All that matters is if he makes a suitable partner.  He does have his shit together enough to keep a clean, organized fridge.  So don’t make excuses for him like his schedule is out of control.  It’s probably isn’t.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Sex on first date: 9
I give him a very high score for a couple of reasons…
1: He basically told you sex is all he’s looking for.
2: After telling you, you’ve stuck around for a month, so he must have game.  The Stella and simple snacks are enough to keep a date there and get the job done.

Marry: 2
Again, it’s impossible to ignore what he told you, and nothing in this fridge defies that.  This is a guy who spends most of his time out and about, and much of that time is not with you.  As his fridge says limited resources, he has work to do on that front as well.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2
As his fridge is relatively neat and organized without being obsessive, I don’t see a stalker here, let alone that he told you to move on.  (If you stuck to your standards)   Does every man have his breaking point?  Sure.  But they need a dream to break in the first place.
ZoomInfo
Fridge Post #35


  Stonehill,
  
  I’ve been seeing Seth for a month now.  He’s totally honest with me and has told me from the get-go that he’s not looking for a serious relationship right now.  (He just got out of one)
  
  I’m not interested in an ‘open’ relationship.  Should I tell him to stop seeing other people?
  
  Here’s a pic of his fridge.  Does it provide any insight?
  
  Ciao,
  
  -Sandy


Stonehill Analysis

Sandy,

Your question was the inspiration behind yesterday’s #DateTipTuesdays post.

For starters, I give Seth credit for being up front with you.  But that doesn’t mean holding onto him is more important than holding onto your standards.  The fact is, for this relationship to work for you, he has to stop shagging other people.

As I touched on yesterday, I wouldn’t tell him what to do.   He’s a grown man, and there’s no law against having multiple partners.  But I would tell him you’d only be in a monogamous relationship.

Again, you can’t dictate his actions, but you can dictate the kind of relationship you’re in.

What I do find troubling is that you’ve dated this guy for a month after he stated that he isn’t looking for a commitment.  For him to even say this, he has his own shit going on, and whatever the reason, you’re not Dr. Phil, and he’s not your patient.

So don’t pass Go, and don’t collect one last shag.  Just tell him what you’re looking for and skedaddle.  If he chooses monogamy, trust me, he’ll find you.

Now, when it comes to Seth’s fridge, yes, it provides insight into his dating habits, but considering what he told you, that’s secondary.

In the event that he does step up, here’s what his fridge tells us:

He’s out on the town.  A lot.

This is evident by his lack of prepareable foods and weak condiment selection.  He’s eating most of his meals out and not even doing much takeout.  He was upfront that he was dating other people, and his fridge reinforces that.

He’s on a budget.

Some of his products are name brands (Best Foods), yet some are generic (ketchup).  This tells me he’s willing to invest in what’s important to him and while scrimping on what’s not.

This pattern probably translates to his dating, such as the level of locale is dependant on his echelon of interest.   Some guys have a benchmark bar, whoever the girl.  Some don’t.

He has good taste in beer.

Again, if something is important to Seth, he’ll invest in it, shown by the Stella.  He’s able to appreciate the finer things in life.  As you’re the star of the Sandy show, one of those finer things should be you.  If you’re not, better to know now and move on.

He’s a renter.

His fridge is not a model you’d find in a house or condo.  He works, but hasn’t arrived in his career yet, nor is he a TFB (Trust Fund baby).

When I was younger, I felt at times I wasn’t ready to settle down because I wasn’t settled in my career.  That was my way of selling myself short, and Seth might be doing the same.

In reality though, it doesn’t matter.  All that matters is if he makes a suitable partner.  He does have his shit together enough to keep a clean, organized fridge.  So don’t make excuses for him like his schedule is out of control.  It’s probably isn’t.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Sex on first date: 9
I give him a very high score for a couple of reasons…
1: He basically told you sex is all he’s looking for.
2: After telling you, you’ve stuck around for a month, so he must have game.  The Stella and simple snacks are enough to keep a date there and get the job done.

Marry: 2
Again, it’s impossible to ignore what he told you, and nothing in this fridge defies that.  This is a guy who spends most of his time out and about, and much of that time is not with you.  As his fridge says limited resources, he has work to do on that front as well.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2
As his fridge is relatively neat and organized without being obsessive, I don’t see a stalker here, let alone that he told you to move on.  (If you stuck to your standards)   Does every man have his breaking point?  Sure.  But they need a dream to break in the first place.
ZoomInfo

Fridge Post #35

Stonehill,

I’ve been seeing Seth for a month now. He’s totally honest with me and has told me from the get-go that he’s not looking for a serious relationship right now. (He just got out of one)

I’m not interested in an ‘open’ relationship. Should I tell him to stop seeing other people?

Here’s a pic of his fridge. Does it provide any insight?

Ciao,

-Sandy

Stonehill Analysis

Sandy,

Your question was the inspiration behind yesterday’s #DateTipTuesdays post.

For starters, I give Seth credit for being up front with you. But that doesn’t mean holding onto him is more important than holding onto your standards. The fact is, for this relationship to work for you, he has to stop shagging other people.

As I touched on yesterday, I wouldn’t tell him what to do. He’s a grown man, and there’s no law against having multiple partners. But I would tell him you’d only be in a monogamous relationship.

Again, you can’t dictate his actions, but you can dictate the kind of relationship you’re in.

What I do find troubling is that you’ve dated this guy for a month after he stated that he isn’t looking for a commitment. For him to even say this, he has his own shit going on, and whatever the reason, you’re not Dr. Phil, and he’s not your patient.

So don’t pass Go, and don’t collect one last shag. Just tell him what you’re looking for and skedaddle. If he chooses monogamy, trust me, he’ll find you.

Now, when it comes to Seth’s fridge, yes, it provides insight into his dating habits, but considering what he told you, that’s secondary.

In the event that he does step up, here’s what his fridge tells us:

He’s out on the town. A lot.

This is evident by his lack of prepareable foods and weak condiment selection. He’s eating most of his meals out and not even doing much takeout. He was upfront that he was dating other people, and his fridge reinforces that.

He’s on a budget.

Some of his products are name brands (Best Foods), yet some are generic (ketchup). This tells me he’s willing to invest in what’s important to him and while scrimping on what’s not.

This pattern probably translates to his dating, such as the level of locale is dependant on his echelon of interest. Some guys have a benchmark bar, whoever the girl. Some don’t.

He has good taste in beer.

Again, if something is important to Seth, he’ll invest in it, shown by the Stella. He’s able to appreciate the finer things in life. As you’re the star of the Sandy show, one of those finer things should be you. If you’re not, better to know now and move on.

He’s a renter.

His fridge is not a model you’d find in a house or condo. He works, but hasn’t arrived in his career yet, nor is he a TFB (Trust Fund baby).

When I was younger, I felt at times I wasn’t ready to settle down because I wasn’t settled in my career. That was my way of selling myself short, and Seth might be doing the same.

In reality though, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is if he makes a suitable partner. He does have his shit together enough to keep a clean, organized fridge. So don’t make excuses for him like his schedule is out of control. It’s probably isn’t.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Sex on first date: 9
I give him a very high score for a couple of reasons…
1: He basically told you sex is all he’s looking for.
2: After telling you, you’ve stuck around for a month, so he must have game. The Stella and simple snacks are enough to keep a date there and get the job done.

Marry: 2
Again, it’s impossible to ignore what he told you, and nothing in this fridge defies that. This is a guy who spends most of his time out and about, and much of that time is not with you. As his fridge says limited resources, he has work to do on that front as well.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 2
As his fridge is relatively neat and organized without being obsessive, I don’t see a stalker here, let alone that he told you to move on. (If you stuck to your standards) Does every man have his breaking point? Sure. But they need a dream to break in the first place.

6Medium, Male, Maybebang,

Fridge Post #32


  Stonehill,
  
  I’m casually dating Matt.  He’s fun, but I’m still looking for the one.   Check out Matt’s fridge, think I should be giving him a closer look?  Am I missing something?
  
  Shoot it to me straight!
  
  Xoxo
  
  -Nancy


Stonehill Analysis

Hey Nancy,

Dating can be like applying to college.  We all dream of Harvard, but we have to dial back expectations along the way.

And when we realize how much time goes into each application, we need to narrow down that wish list, from our reach schools through our safety.

Right now, Matt is your Arizona State.  He’s fun, decent looking and he can provide a challenge if you dig down deep, but is that where you really want your degree?

Now, when it comes to college, we all need a safety school.   When it comes to dating, not so much.  Yes, we all have needs and we all need to clean the pipes.  (At least every 3000 miles)

But the problem is, we’re lazy.  We’re wired that way.  To exert no more effort than necessary is a matter of survival.  The key to Matt, or any safety school, is to have fun, but to not quit applying to a campus you really want to attend.

Now, lets dive into Matt’s fridge and see if Matt U is worth a closer look…

The Campus

Matt’s fridge is a decent model.  Plenty of room, it’s got a nice quad, but it ain’t inspiring any all-nighters to ace AP French.

Don’t get me wrong, his fridge is fine. I’m just not sprouting a chubby.  It could be kept better, starting with 86’ing some of those plastic bags, and wiping the shit off that syrup bottle on the left door.

Social Life

I’m a fan of some items here.  He’s got Sam Adams and Lagunitas, both quality beers.  He doesn’t have much though, so he’s clearly not thinking like a host.

He does have wine, which is a strong move.  He just chose a step above 2 Buck Chuck.  The 2 bottles of Sutter Home look like freebies from his last flight delay.  Yes, a campus visit to Matt U can be a good time, it just lacks style or effort.

Academics

No fridge (or campus visit) is a tell-all.  But I don’t see one product that he might have read about somewhere.  An item that shows a sense of curiosity or a hint of adventure.

That said, there’s nothing that screams short yellow bus either.

Athletics

A perk of safety schools is usually a Division 1 athletic program.  Now, Matt U does have Multi grain bread, apples and a mystery fruit in Tupperware, which shows some effort to take care of himself.

I just don’t see fuel for a true workout.  A water bottle for that run or hike.  Is Matt vertically challenged?  I can’t say.   But I don’t see evidence that Matt is an HPOA: Hot Piece Of Ass.

Endowment

I see that Matt U does have its finances in order, a good thing.  It also appears Matt won’t be upgrading his facilities any time soon.

He’s got solid brands, such as Best Foods and Sam Adams.  Yet, he’s going generic on products that deserve name brands, like ketchup and mustard.  (Let me know where I can send my donation to the Heinz Fund)

And that concludes our tour of Matt U.  Is this campus worth a closer look?  That’s for you to decide.  But I perceived nothing that was missed.

While you’re here, have fun.  Just make sure you put the effort into touring your reach schools.

Fridge Dating Scorecard  (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 5
Matt is middle of the road.  If you end up back at his place, he’s got the wine and beer needed to get the job done.  But I don’t see any signs that this dude has serious game.  And like a safety school, you won’t have to work too hard if you want in.

Marry: 3.5
Matt seems like a decent guy.  Seriously.  No major red flags.  But you told me he doesn’t inspire you.  And he probably won’t.  He is who he is.

Your grades have you looking for more.  If you don’t apply though, you’ll end up living on Matt’s campus.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
To stalk effectively, you need money and a lot of time on your hands.  Matt seems to be lacking both.  A good sign for you. His fridge could use a little more love, but I don’t see abuse here.
ZoomInfo
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Samsung SPH-L720
ISO
160
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Exposure
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Focal Length
4mm

Fridge Post #32

Stonehill,

I’m casually dating Matt. He’s fun, but I’m still looking for the one. Check out Matt’s fridge, think I should be giving him a closer look? Am I missing something?

Shoot it to me straight!

Xoxo

-Nancy

Stonehill Analysis

Hey Nancy,

Dating can be like applying to college. We all dream of Harvard, but we have to dial back expectations along the way.

And when we realize how much time goes into each application, we need to narrow down that wish list, from our reach schools through our safety.

Right now, Matt is your Arizona State. He’s fun, decent looking and he can provide a challenge if you dig down deep, but is that where you really want your degree?

Now, when it comes to college, we all need a safety school. When it comes to dating, not so much. Yes, we all have needs and we all need to clean the pipes. (At least every 3000 miles)

But the problem is, we’re lazy. We’re wired that way. To exert no more effort than necessary is a matter of survival. The key to Matt, or any safety school, is to have fun, but to not quit applying to a campus you really want to attend.

Now, lets dive into Matt’s fridge and see if Matt U is worth a closer look…

The Campus

Matt’s fridge is a decent model. Plenty of room, it’s got a nice quad, but it ain’t inspiring any all-nighters to ace AP French.

Don’t get me wrong, his fridge is fine. I’m just not sprouting a chubby. It could be kept better, starting with 86’ing some of those plastic bags, and wiping the shit off that syrup bottle on the left door.

Social Life

I’m a fan of some items here. He’s got Sam Adams and Lagunitas, both quality beers. He doesn’t have much though, so he’s clearly not thinking like a host.

He does have wine, which is a strong move. He just chose a step above 2 Buck Chuck. The 2 bottles of Sutter Home look like freebies from his last flight delay. Yes, a campus visit to Matt U can be a good time, it just lacks style or effort.

Academics

No fridge (or campus visit) is a tell-all. But I don’t see one product that he might have read about somewhere. An item that shows a sense of curiosity or a hint of adventure.

That said, there’s nothing that screams short yellow bus either.

Athletics

A perk of safety schools is usually a Division 1 athletic program. Now, Matt U does have Multi grain bread, apples and a mystery fruit in Tupperware, which shows some effort to take care of himself.

I just don’t see fuel for a true workout. A water bottle for that run or hike. Is Matt vertically challenged? I can’t say. But I don’t see evidence that Matt is an HPOA: Hot Piece Of Ass.

Endowment

I see that Matt U does have its finances in order, a good thing. It also appears Matt won’t be upgrading his facilities any time soon.

He’s got solid brands, such as Best Foods and Sam Adams. Yet, he’s going generic on products that deserve name brands, like ketchup and mustard. (Let me know where I can send my donation to the Heinz Fund)

And that concludes our tour of Matt U. Is this campus worth a closer look? That’s for you to decide. But I perceived nothing that was missed.

While you’re here, have fun. Just make sure you put the effort into touring your reach schools.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 5
Matt is middle of the road. If you end up back at his place, he’s got the wine and beer needed to get the job done. But I don’t see any signs that this dude has serious game. And like a safety school, you won’t have to work too hard if you want in.

Marry: 3.5
Matt seems like a decent guy. Seriously. No major red flags. But you told me he doesn’t inspire you. And he probably won’t. He is who he is.

Your grades have you looking for more. If you don’t apply though, you’ll end up living on Matt’s campus.

Sleeping with the Enemy: 3
To stalk effectively, you need money and a lot of time on your hands. Matt seems to be lacking both. A good sign for you. His fridge could use a little more love, but I don’t see abuse here.

6Medium, Male, Maybebang, Love, Dating,

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