Fridge Post #23

Hey Stonehill,

This girl I was dating a couple of months blew me off recently.

Curious, does my fridge say anything? She said I was not what she was looking for. I consider myself a Guy’s Guy, even rebellious, perhaps I have to tone it down?

Thanks,

-Nate

Stonehill Analysis

Nate, it’s interesting to hear you describe yourself. What I get from your fridge is 2 words: Mr. Mom. The last time a saw a man so nurturing was Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior.

Now, I know it’s easier for me to say it than for you to hear it, but this girl did you a favor. You’re looking for the one and if she ain’t it, better to know now than to waste time. (And Frankly, I appreciate her being direct)

You seem more of a Sensitive Guy, than a Guy’s Guy. The fact is, some chicks will love this. And some are looking for the kind of dude Cheryl Crow sings about.

One of the most important things in dating is figuring out who we are. We get into trouble when we sell ourselves as someone we’re not. Yes, Rebels might get laid more. But Rebels don’t possess gourmet baking flours, Almond Milk and more fruits and veggies than a bodega.

That said, there’s a bright side to living on the sensitive side of town. The first third of life, the Rebel might be pulling the kind of ass you can only dream of. But when it comes to finding a life partner, you (and your Jenn-Air) are far more in line with what most hot chicks are looking for.

This doesn’t mean you have a license to be a pussy, but most (healthy headed) women do outgrow the Rebel.

To get rid of any other false sense of self you might have, lets see who else your fridge tells me you’re not…

The Rebel

(We got this one covered)

The Guy’s Guy

Guy’s Guys have a larger supply of beer than Greek Yogurt.

The Freeloader

Your high-end fridge model and beautiful hardwood floors tell me you’re making money.

Organized

For a fridge this nice on the outside, it’s kind of a shithole on the inside. The drawers on the bottom look like science experiments gone wrong. Messiness in the fridge often translates to messiness in life.

A Fatty

For a single guy’s fridge, it’s definitely on the healthy side. You shop at Whole Foods (which is a gold mine, speaking of ass) and all 4 food groups are represented. Take better care of your produce though, I can hear them complaining from here.

Nate, you clearly have a lot going for you. Just take a lesson from Jan Brady and stop trying to be someone you’re not. In the end, they always figure out who we are anyway.

Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)

Bang on first date: 4
I get the sense you strategically take it slow on the fondle front. Get to know her better first. Sounds smart, right? It’s not. Women want you to get as far as you can get. It’s up to them to stop you.

Marry: 8
You have many attributes that align with the ‘perfect partner.’ Just grow up and own it.

Boil your Bunny: 6
The fact that you’re hung up on a girl that you dated for 2 only months, (combined with the tortured produce) is a red flag. Once you appreciate your assets, I see much smoother sailing from there.

6Medium, Male, Maybebang, Dating, Date, Relationship, Love, Humor, Advice,