Fridge Post #36
Help! This is my fridge. What do you think?
Something important to see in a potential partner is that they have friends of the opposite sex. Even though When Harry Met Sally was my one of my fave flicks of all time, men and women should be friends. (As long as one doesn’t want to shag the other’s brains out)
I’ve met those who didn’t have friends of the opposite sex and it was always a red flag.
I say this as it’s obvious that you have a stash of guy friends. Why? Cause I can’t imagine the PBR, IPA, hot sauce and Big 3 BBQ condiments (Mayo, Mustard and Ketchup) are all for your girls when they come over to watch reruns of Sex and the City.
Now, we all have to believe in something. I believe in Stereotypes. No offense to God, the constitution or the iPhone. The world is just too damn complicated and stereotypes can make the chaos a bit less chaotic.
When it comes to women, no stereotype reveals more about a woman than ‘The Girl Next Door’. We all have that image pop into our mind. Whether it’s Amy Adams, Winnie Cooper, or that chick from Father of the Bride, what’s so special about this girl is no matter how butt-ugly a guy is, he feels like he has shot with her.
And that is special. That says something about they type of person The GND is. Cute, but not hot. Bright, yet you can actually understand what she’s saying. Charming, yet humble. Talented, yet still a team player. And possesses confidence, yet has a healthy dose of vulnerability.
If a guy is not a total douche, this is a girl he roots for. This is the first girl we fell in love as boys. Yet, takes us the longest to appreciate as men.
And this is a GND fridge. As I listed above, you have plenty of supplies to make a guy feel at home. Yet there’s a wholesome side to you as well. All 4 food groups are represented, and though you have food and drink to have fun, you also eat healthy.
You have an impressive lineup of fruits, veggies, Greek yogurt, hummus and you even have Cuties, which fall under the ‘cute’ food category.
Healthy is vital when it comes to dating. You often hear ‘check out her mom to see what she’ll look like in 20 years.’ I say bullshit, check out her fridge.
On the wholesome front, you’re looking out for the environment. You have a Brita, so you’re not chucking plastic and you’re buying organic, thus a pal of Mother Earth.
On the dating front, it’s important to be prepared and you are. If we’re hosting a date, we need drinks on standby and bing, you got Grey Goose and Absolut in your freezer.
I also like you’re about brunch, which is a nice Continuation Date if a dude stays over. You got bagels, cream cheese and lox, as well as the mini jam on the door, which I primarily see for brunch at a restaurant. Plus, you have Coffeemate, which tells me you brew your own coffee.
People always underestimate the power of smells and I love waking up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee. (Brew him a cup, it’s a very smart move)
Now, on the help front, you don’t need much, but it is time to move beyond the mini bottles. Though I love that you have champagne, you’re a grownup so step up to a grownup bottle. (The Cuties is about all the cute shit I can handle) Your Absolut can use a growth spurt as well.
Lastly, I’m glad to see you eat meat. Though nothing is universal, red meat and rogering often go hand-in-hand.
Fridge Dating Scorecard (on scale of 1 to 10)
Shag on first date: 6
This is a fridge that can keep a guy around, whether it’s for dinner, drinks or breakfast come morning. As I often say when it comes to GNDs, your many amigos have probably advised you that it’s not the best strategy to shag on the first date, partly out of protection, partly due to wisdom.
The 2nd date…the world is your oyster.
I like that you splurge at Gelson’s when needed and save your scheckles at Trader Joe’s when you can. That shows a nice balance and life is a balancing act.
In addition, you’re active, healthy, clean, fun, drink beer, eat meat and give a shit about more than yourself. To me, that spells winner.
Boil Your Bunny: 2
You haven’t set off any of my Bunny Boiler motion detectors. Your fridge is neat and organized enough to have your shit together, while not too anal that you’re obsessing.
The fact that you insinuated you need help in the first place bumps you up a couple of points, as you might have a tendency to over-think things, but I do see calm waters ahead.